Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he’s ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert’s “sleep divorce,” VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air. The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who should be the first official “2 Bears OF star,” and spiral into some truly insane pitches that only these two maniacs could come up with. Plus: speech impediments, Elmer Fudd racism, trolling stories, gambling breakdowns from NFL Week 1, and Bert trying to recruit Zac Efron into a shirtless golf fantasy with their new NIL athlete. This might just be the best episode of this show in a long ass time, don’t miss it. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 306 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:41 - Dogs & Cats 00:08:59 - VR Corn 00:17:30 - Memorizing Geography 00:23:24 - Memorizing Phone Numbers 00:31:35 - Prank Calls 00:37:59 - We Got Some OF Prospects 00:49:50 - Speech Impediments 00:53:45 - NFL Week 1 Gambling 00:59:51 - Bert Wants To Adopt Athletes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ep. 20 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 20 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave Tom Segura surprises Bert Kreischer by having the Stanley Cup brought into the studio and they learn about its history together! The two of them also revisit the idea of becoming dandies. The question "what is the youngest age you would date" is also explored. What's the youngest you would go? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Maalis 20201h 38min

Ep. 19 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 19 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The 2 Bears, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in their 1 Cave today. Bert just got off the road, how is he doing? Tom and Bert are starting to realize they have no hobbies, so they start to entertain the idea of starting one. Will Bert become a Dandy? Will Bert buy a car on the podcast? These are all hobbies discussed. Plus, Tom and Bert look into joining a secret society. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Helmi 20201h 48min

Ep. 18 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 18 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The 2 Bears, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in their 1 Cave! First we must discuss, what could be breaking news: Bert had a heart attack last night?! TMZ is trying to confirm! Then, Tom and Bert discuss the Ari Shaffir tweet about Kobe Bryant. Then we get on to the Super Bowl half time show! Jennifer Lopez and Shakira look absolutely incredible! Which one would you rather fill up?? LeeAnn got a text about Caronavirus from Christina that she forwarded to half her phone book and kids. Always check the link before forwarding to other people! Bert celebrates Chinese New Year and we get more impressions from Bert. Tom and Bert then debate the pros and cons of early morning drinking before flights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Helmi 20201h 32min

Ep. 17 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 17 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss things they learned from their fathers, their feelings about over emotional people, and their new weight loss challenge. Tom also shares a cool story about about a guy who was not nice to his mom. What did YOU learn from your dad? Who do YOU think will win this weight loss challenge? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Tammi 20201h 29min

Ep. 16 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 16 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

What do the 2 Bears get up to in the cave this week? First, Tom and Bert show off hats that they're not sure if they can sell or not, but if guys like them, we'll figure something out! Then we get on the subject of Tom's new found love for speaking Spanish on podcasts! Is it all a rouse? What's the ACTUAL reason? Bert has some ideas! Bert then tells us about his spiritual healer. They also discuss their love of 50 Cent and how incredibly funny he is. Bert then starts to make some interesting observations: he thinks Christina P is the mastermind behind all the Bert-shaming that's been going on for years! is it true? Let us know in the comments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Tammi 20201h 10min

Ep. 15 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 15 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Bert Kreischer is burning his mouth on an Uncrustable while Tom Segura laughs. That’s how this episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave begins. The only way to follow that is with a history lesson. Plus, we find out about Tom’s parenting misstep and about what a miracle Bert’s kids are alive and haven’t been taken away. There’s a quick call from Joey Diaz and the Bears reminisce about Bert’s old sex show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Joulu 20191h 25min

Ep. 14 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 14 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Today, on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer talk about what they’re thankful for. After Tom’s “Toast” video with Sam Adams dropped, it got the Bears to thinking about what they should give thanks for this holiday season. We get a sample of Bert’s award winning impressions, interactions with alcoholics and some wild stories about “apologies.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Joulu 20191h 32min

Ep. 13 - 2 Bears 1 Cave 2 w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 13 - 2 Bears 1 Cave 2 w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

On today's 2 Bears 1 Cave the music video that shook the internet to it's core is first seen by Bert Kreischer. This episode was recorded right as Tom Segura dropped his legendary music video and we get Bert's first reaction to seeing it for the first time. Plus, Tom has just shot his NETFLIX special as Bert is gearing up to shoot his. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Marras 20191h 2min

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