The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mar

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Episoder(2676)

Thursday, Aug. 24,  2017

Thursday, Aug. 24, 2017

The United States recently noticed something unusual in North Korea’s weapons program: Its missiles started to work. Why? We discuss a surprising discovery. Guest: William J. Broad, who has reported on missile defense for decades. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Aug 201717min

Wednesday, Aug. 23,  2017

Wednesday, Aug. 23, 2017

The president says “things are going to be different” in Afghanistan: no more “nation-building,” just killing terrorists. But a closer examination suggests this new strategy looks a lot like the strategy of the last 16 years. Guest: Matt Rosenberg, who covered Afghanistan from 2008 to 2014. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

23 Aug 201720min

Tuesday, Aug. 22,  2017

Tuesday, Aug. 22, 2017

Derek Black left the white nationalist movement that he had been poised to help lead, betraying his father, a former grand master of the Ku Klux Klan. Today, we talk with him about the events of the past year. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Aug 201734min

Monday, Aug. 21,  2017

Monday, Aug. 21, 2017

Will Stephen K. Bannon use his return to Breitbart News, a right-wing megaphone, to help the president who dismissed him — or to hurt him? And where can he exert more political power: at Breitbart or in the White House? Guest: Jeremy W. Peters, a reporter in the Washington bureau who has covered the so-called alt-right. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Aug 201719min

Special Edition: The Fall of Steve Bannon

Special Edition: The Fall of Steve Bannon

After a week in which the president bolstered white nationalists, why did he end it by getting rid of Stephen K. Bannon, the crusader in the White House for the so-called alt-right? Guest: Maggie Haberman, who covers the White House. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

18 Aug 201716min

Friday, Aug. 18,  2017

Friday, Aug. 18, 2017

They posted hate speech and Hitler emojis. They also organized a rally in Charlottesville, Va., connecting several major white supremacy groups for an intimidating display of force. How white supremacists and neo-Nazis used their favorite social networks to craft and propagate their messages — at least until they were barred from the platform. Guest: Kevin Roose, who writes about technology for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

18 Aug 201719min

Thursday, Aug. 17,  2017

Thursday, Aug. 17, 2017

Upset by policies on immigration and climate change and by President Trump’s initial response to the violence in Charlottesville, Va., the leaders of major American companies began to drop one by one from presidential advisory councils. After Mr. Trump again equated far-right hate groups with the groups protesting them, the chief executives moved to cut ties with the president who rose to fame as a businessman. Guest: Andrew Ross Sorkin, a financial columnist for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Aug 201715min

Wednesday, Aug. 16,  2017

Wednesday, Aug. 16, 2017

President Trump defended his initial remarks about the recent violence in Charlottesville, Va., on Tuesday, saying that “both sides” were to blame. Asked if he equated neo-Nazis and white supremacists with activists protesting racism, Mr. Trump said, “I’m not putting anybody on a moral plane.” Guests: Mark Landler, a White House correspondent for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Aug 201718min

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