Oren J. Sofer

On this Martin Luther King day, it’s tempting to fear that America, and the world, may never have been further away from the kind of inclusive society that Dr. King called for so eloquently. So today, we are, I hope, going to give you a little hope -- and perhaps also some ideas for how you can be an engaged citizen without losing your mind. My guest is Loretta Ross, who describes herself as a radical Black feminist, activist, and public intellectual. She’s a Visiting Associate Professor at Smith College, and she also teaches an online course that caught our eye. It’s called, “Calling in the Calling Out Culture.” She believes that “calling out,” which is quite common on social media these days, is adding way too much toxicity to the discourse and alienating people who might otherwise be allies. Instead, she believes in “calling in,” which steadfastly insists on a large measure of grace, and rejects the impulse to dehumanize. As you will hear, she is a longtime leftist, but no matter where you stand politically, she is modeling a compelling mode of engaging that is insistently open-minded and large-hearted. And, as you will hear, it is one she has personally put the test, as a Black woman who has worked with white supremacists, and a rape survivor who has worked with incarcerated rapists.  Where to find Loretta Ross online:  Website: https://lorettajross.com Social Media: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/LorettaJRoss • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lorettaross • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm2FxbqwV3BEhDpnAihWKqQ Take a few minutes to help us out by answering a survey about your experience with this podcast! The team here is always looking for ways to improve, and we’d love to hear from all of you, but we’d particularly like to hear from those of you who listen to the podcast and do not use our companion app. Please visit www.tenpercent.com/survey to take the survey. Thank you. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/loretta-ross-316

18 Jan 202159min

This is exactly what I needed right now: a huge, helpful dose of perspective in the midst of the political crisis gripping America -- a crisis which, of course, has ripple effects for the whole world. Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, India, and Burma. He went on to co-found the Insight Meditation Society and then its sister center, Spirit Rock. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband and activist. His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies. They include, A Wise Heart, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, and his most recent book, No Time Like the Present. You may ask: what’s the point of meditating when the world is on fire? Jack has extremely satisfying and practical answers. We talk about how to deal with anger and fear, how to talk to our kids, and whether people can feel it when we send them compassion or friendliness. Two quick notes before we dive in: you may hear a little ticking noise on Jack’s audio for the first ten minutes; it goes away after we discover that a wristwatch was placed near the mic. Second, he leads a quick guided meditation in the middle of our chat. Don’t close your eyes if you’re driving! Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Experience 2021 - Check it out here http://bit.ly/3bgeBn4 and use promo code HAPPIER2021 to save over $100.  Where to find Jack Kornfield online:  Website: https://jackkornfield.com/bio/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/JackKornfield Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jkornfield/ Instagram: @jack_kornfield Additional Resources: • Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live • Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide • Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-315

13 Jan 20211h 7min

If you’re either seething or scared — or both — in the aftermath of the attack on the US Capitol, this one’s for you. In times of national and international strife, we’ve made it a habit of turning to Lama Rod Owens. Rod was officially recognized as a lama by the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism after doing a three-year retreat. He has a Master of Divinity degree from Harvard. And he has written several books, including his newest, which is called Love and Rage. In this conversation, which we recorded just yesterday, we talk about how to work with the anger and fear many of us are feeling right now. We also talk about how to communicate with people with whom we disagree; how to strategically divest from people and technologies that are depleting us (rather than self-medicating with distraction); and why the most important way to play a constructive role right now — although this may be counterintuitive for some people — is to start with yourself. Where to find Lama Rod Owens online:  Website: https://www.lamarod.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/LamaRod1 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lamarod/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lamarodowens/ Book Mentioned: Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger by Lama Rod Owens https://bookshop.org/books/love-and-rage-the-path-of-liberation-through-anger-9781623174095/9781623174095 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lama-rod-314

11 Jan 20211h 5min

I don't know about you, but I felt a lot of anger, fear, and sadness while watching those horrifying images from the United States Capitol on Wednesday. So how do we handle this with some degree of equanimity? That's what we're going to talk about today. It's Friday, which is when we usually post bonus meditations or talks, but given the collective trauma we are living through -- both in the US and around the world -- we wanted to post a special episode. I'll be honest... as a journalist and as a meditation evangelist, I can't sit here and guarantee that everything's going to be alright. I suspect it will be, but -- really -- I don't know. What I do know, though, is that meditation -- taking care of your own mind -- will help you navigate this moment more skillfully. And if enough of us do this, it might impact the course of events.  You know who agrees with me? Jon Kabat-Zinn. He's a towering figure in the world of meditation and mental health. He created Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, a way of teaching meditation that brought the practice into the secular mainstream and resulted in an explosion of scientific research demonstrating the benefits of the practice. He's written such books as Wherever You Go, There You Are and Full Catastrophe Living. And he's a Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jon-kabat-zinn-313

8 Jan 202159min

New Year’s Series Episode 4. Today we’re going to dive into the science behind why so many of us get New Year's resolutions so wrong -- and how we can do better. My guest is Dr. Laurie Santos. As you may remember, she made her debut on this show just over a month ago, in an episode about how to handle the pandemic winter blues. She was such a font of practical wisdom that we almost immediately invited her back.  Laurie is a tenured psychology professor at Yale, where she teaches a massively popular course on happiness. She also hosts an excellent podcast called The Happiness Lab, where right now, she’s doing a series of episodes along a very similar theme--what she’s calling “anti-resolutions”--so I definitely recommend checking that out.  In today’s conversation, we talk about why resolutions are a thing in the first place; why they so often go pear-shaped; and common pitfalls and misunderstandings in our attempts to lose weight, exercise more, or make more money. As we’ve been stressing in our New Year’s series, Laurie argues that one powerful antidote to our resolution morass is self-compassion. As we’ve been saying throughout our series, the research shows that self-compassion is much better fuel for habit change than our usual mode of shame. I have been referring to it as a kind of uber-habit, out of which all other habits can flow.  Join Laurie Santos in the New Year’s Challenge: https://challenges.tenpercent.com/?challenge=new-years-2021&challenge_invite=gDTcpTfZgSdFXZvhtG6u3sSe&challenge_title=New%20Year%27s%20Challenge    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/laurie-santos-312

6 Jan 202153min

New Year’s Series Episode 3. We talk with Karamo about how to practice self-love--and why doing so is the opposite of selfish.   Karamo was the first out gay Black man on reality TV when he appeared on MTV’s The Real World: Philadelphia in 2004. But then he left TV and found out he was a father. He got custody of his son, adopted his son’s half-brother, and worked for a decade as a social worker before returning to the media world. He’s now the Culture expert on Netflix’s blockbuster reboot of Queer Eye. He also hosts his own podcast and is the author of a memoir as well as a children’s book, which he co-wrote with his son.   In today’s conversation, we talk about why, for Karamo, learning to love himself started with learning to love his first name; how he overcame negative messages inside his abusive childhood home; why men struggle so much with the concept of self-love; and the areas in his own life where he struggles the most to practice what he preaches.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Karamo Brown online:  Website: http://karamobook.com   Social Media: ·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/Karamo ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Personal-Blog/Karamo-Brown-Page-227323621184576/ ·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karamo ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Karamobrown ·        Podcast: https://luminary.link/PPiQNuwwicb Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karamo-311

1 Jan 202142min

New Year’s Series Episode 2. We talk with Chris Germer about the scientifically-proven benefits of self-compassion; how to practice self-compassion in your life; the disutility of shame; and the connection between self-compassion and compassion for others. Oh, and we also take some listener voicemails.   Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He also co-developed a highly impactful program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which has been taught to over 100,000 people across the world.   How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Chris Germer online:  Website: https://chrisgermer.com   Social Media: ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CenterForMSC ·        Chris’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christophergermerphd/ ·        Center for Mindful Self Compassion Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/centerformindfulselfcompassion/ ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCObLXaQeAfuhSLPf3IW5Adw Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/chris-germer-310

30 Dec 20201h 13min

New Year’s Series Episode 1. We talk with expert meditation teachers Susan Piver and Jeff Warren about a radical approach to the new year: self-compassion. Susan and Jeff help introduce the New Year’s Meditation Challenge launching in the Ten Percent Happier app. And we respond to listener voicemail questions about how to operationalize self-love in our everyday lives. That’s right, we’re going all-in on self-love: leaning into the cheese, diving into the fondue, surfing the brie (a phrase that you’ll hear one of our guests today coin in real time). But I want to be clear: this is not sap for the sake of sap -- this is sap for the sake of science, and sanity.  As tens of millions of us go about the annual, humiliating ritual of making and then abandoning New Year’s resolutions, there is ample evidence that you are more likely to achieve your long-term goals if you pursue those goals not out of self-loathing or shame (which is the not-so-subtle subtext of the whole ‘New Year, New You’ slogan) but instead with self-love -- or self-compassion. So we have a whole bonanza of programming for you. First, our New Year’s Series starts today here on the podcast. Over the next few weeks, we’ve got a blockbuster lineup, including scientists, meditation teachers, and Karamo, star of the hit Netflix show Queer Eye and a vocal proponent of self-love.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: ·        Download the Ten Percent Happier app directly in the Apple App Store (for iPhone/iPad): http://apple.co/1V7sqo9 or the Google Play store (for Android phones): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.changecollective.tenpercenthappier  ·        If you are new to Ten Percent Happier, tap Get Started to register an account. (If you already have an account you’ll need to tap Sign In at the bottom of the screen.) ·        You should be prompted to Join the Challenge after registering your account. Just tap on the Join Challenge button and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don’t join the Challenge during registration, within the app tap the Join Challenge banner at the bottom of the screen and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don’t see Join Challenge in the app you can also join on a mobile device by tapping this link: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/newyear-challenge-kickoff-309

28 Dec 20201h 7min