How to Keep Going When Things Get Hard | Bryan Stevenson

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How our false expectations and misunderstandings about relationships can create an incalculable amount of suffering — and the many problems of the "You complete me" model. Description:  This episode was part one of our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.  Today’s guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine’s Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships.  Myisha Battle is the author of the book, “This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between.” She also hosts the podcast How’s Your Sex Life? Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships.  Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex.  In this episode we talk about: Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways Understanding men’s and women’s cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships The myth of finding “the one” The orgasm gap Bromance And if you’re looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/myisha-battle-archive  Where to find Myisha Battle online:  Website: www.myishabattle.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @MyishaBattle Instagram: @MyishaBattle Book Mentioned: This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between  Other Resources Mentioned: Alain de Botton’s Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person  The School of Life  #418. How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman #213: Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel #464. How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel Half the World Has a Clitoris. Why Don’t Doctors Study It? Michael Vincent Miller’s Intimate Terrorism Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

3 Apr 20241h 3min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Hidden sources of stress — and how to beat them. Also: the myth of normal, the necessity of being disillusioned, and the disutility of comparing your suffering. Description:  There’s so much to be grateful for in modern medicine. We can all agree that we would not do as well in a world with no Advil or dentistry. And yet, our guest today, who is a renowned doctor, says modern medicine is overlooking something crucial: the pernicious impact that modern living has on our minds and bodies. In other words, we are surrounded by these hidden societal and structural sources of stress and we aren’t thinking about how to treat and prevent these factors that are degrading our happiness and our immune systems.  Dr. Gabor Maté is a bestselling author with an expertise on everything from stress to addiction to ADHD. His latest book is called, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture Content Warning: This episode has mentions of child abuse, sexual trauma, suicide and addiction In this episode we talk about: What he means by “the myth of normal” How diseases, such as autoimmune conditions, are an “artifact of civilization” How to begin to tackle what Dr. Maté calls, “the social sources of illness”  His definition of trauma and the difference between “big T traumatic events” and the trauma of “wounding” How trauma in society is so normalized that we don’t even recognize it Whether the term trauma is overused Why comparing suffering is a fruitless endeavor  What he means by “the necessity to be disillusioned”  The power and possibility of psychedelics  Why he thinks we should incorporate shamanic medicine into our western medical framework And what he means by “undoing self-limiting beliefs” and how these beliefs show up in our everyday lives Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gabor-mate-archive Where to find Gabor Maté online:  Website: drgabormate.com Social Media: Twitter Facebook Instagram YouTube Books Mentioned: The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction  Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers Other Resources Mentioned: The Wisdom of Trauma  Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Is Associated with Increased Risk of Ovarian Cancer: A Prospective and Retrospective Longitudinal Cohort Study Decrease in depression symptoms is associated with longer survival in patients with metastatic breast cancer: a secondary analysis Marital Status, Marital Strain, and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease or Total Mortality: The Framingham Offspring Study George Engel How spanking may affect brain development in children The Trauma of Everyday Life by Dr. Mark Epstein IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging by Dr. Dan Siegel A. H. Almaas Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

1 Apr 202456min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Buddhist strategies for making money and being creative. Meditation teacher David Nichtern believes that business can be, in his words, an essential spiritual practice. He has been practicing and teaching meditation for over 40 years. He’s also the author of a book, Creativity, Spirituality, and Making a Buck. And he hosts a podcast by the same name. He began his career as a successful composer, producer, and guitarist. He’s recorded and played with Stevie Wonder, Jerry Garcia, Lana Del Rey, Paul Simon, and others. Recently, he’s become an entrepreneur, founding an online mindfulness based education platform called Dharma Moon. You can check out the video series based on his latest book, here. And on June 14, David’s leading a 100 Hour Mindfulness Teacher Training. For more info, check out the Dharma Moon website. Related Episodes: Duncan Trussell on: Being a Spiritual Omnivore, Whether Psychedelics Are a Bridge to the Divine, and How the Gates of Hell Are Locked From the Inside A Buddhist Approach to Money Worries | Ethan Nichtern Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/david-nichtern

27 Mars 20241h 9min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Why fear of other people’s opinions (FOPO) holds us back, and what to do about it.   Michael Gervais is a high performance psychologist and the host of the Finding Mastery podcast. His new book is called The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying About What People Think of You.  In this episode we talk about: A handy new acronym: FOPO, Fear of People’s Opinions  How the evolutionary roots of our desire for social acceptance work against us in the modern world  Why caring about what others think is not the same thing as worrying about what others think  The difference between a purpose-based identity and a performance-based identity  The anti-FOPO power of things like: imagination, journaling, meditation, social support, and considering your mortality Why focusing less on yourself can be the greatest bulwark against FOPO Related Episodes: Michael Gervais and Pete Carroll Michael Gervais in conversation with Jon Kabat-Zinn  Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/michael-gervais-returns

25 Mars 20241h 7min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How to build a career that is sturdy, meaningful, and doesn’t burn you out. Description:  Christina Wallace is a senior lecturer of entrepreneurship at Harvard business school, an active angel investor, and even a co-producer of Broadway musicals. Her new book is called The Portfolio Life. Her varied resume should give you an idea of what she means by this.  In this episode we talk about: how to design a portfolio life for yourself her philosophy of ambition  how to create the freedom to fail how to engage in sane time management. To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here  For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/christina-wallace Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

20 Mars 20241h 10min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Slow productivity: achievement without burnout. Cal Newport is a professor of computer science at Georgetown University where he is also a founding member of the Center for Digital Ethics. In addition to his academic work, Newport is a New York Times bestselling author who writes for a general audience about the intersection of technology, productivity, and culture. His books have sold millions of copies and been translated into over forty languages. He is also a contributor to The New Yorker and hosts the popular Deep Questions podcast.   In this episode we talk about: How overload culture wears us out and makes us less productive The rise of “pseudo-productivity” in office culture  The three tenets of slow productivity: do fewer things, work at a natural pace, and obsess over quality Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/cal-newport-745   Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

18 Mars 20241h 16min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Do you struggle to fit meditation into a busy life? Check out this candid conversation with Dan’s younger brother, Matt. Matt Harris is partner at Bain Capital Ventures, where he’s developed an expertise in Fintech, or financial technology. He’s also a father of six incredible children. He is 17 months younger than Dan, to the day. And as you will hear, he likes to make fun of his neurotic brother. In fact, he shows up a lot in Dan's first book, 10% Happier, mocking Dan for his budding interest in meditation. In this episode we talk about: Practical tips from Joseph Goldstein The books that have been integral to Matt's process Tips on starting a practice.  The biggest issues for meditators How not to try too hard How awareness of the ego impacts work, The upsides and downsides of living a more examined life. Related Episodes: Click here to listen to the previous episodes in our tenth anniversary series.  To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here  For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/matt-harris-743 Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

13 Mars 20241h 16min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We explore the intellectual and practical aspects of these mystical and esoteric concepts. Joseph Goldstein is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, both in Barre, Massachusetts. He is the author of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening, A Heart Full of Peace, One Dharma: The Emerging Western Buddhism, Insight Meditation and The Experience of Insight: A Simple and Direct Guide to Buddhist Meditation. Joseph has studied and practiced meditation since 1967 under the guidance of eminent teachers from India, Burma, and Tibet and he leads Insight Meditation retreats around the world. In this episode we talk about: Why Joseph has become more comfortable talking about these concepts as he’s gotten older Why karma should not be seen as a deterministic principle that rules every aspect of our lives The connection between karma and past lives What he thinks about the concept of free will and how it relates to karma  And why skeptics would do well to adopt a mindset characterized by the “willing suspension of disbelief”  Additional Links: Joseph’s Dharma Seed Talk: Understanding Karma  Dipa Ma: The Life and Legacy of a Buddhist Master Free Will by Sam Harris IMS’s Forest Refuge Program The Barre Center for Buddhist Studies Related Episodes: Click here to listen to the previous episodes in our tenth anniversary series.  Nirvana | Joseph Goldstein To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here  For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-742

11 Mars 20241h 21min