Why Every Man Needs a “Why”: Loneliness, Leaving, and Becoming the Author of Your Life with Dr. Cody Young

In this episode, Dr. Baruch HaLevi explores the transformative power of commitment—one of the core tools used in men’s peer groups and one of the most essential virtues in life. Commitment isn’t just about showing up when it’s easy; it’s about aligning your word, your actions, and your integrity, even when it’s inconvenient.From being on time to honoring relationships, from saying yes only when you mean it to courageously saying no when you can’t follow through, commitment is the foundation of character. Through personal stories, group practices, and timeless wisdom, Dr. B shares how men can move from excuses to excellence—and why living impeccably with your word changes everything.Key Topics CoveredThe challenge of commitment – why men often resist and how it reveals character.Peer group standards – no missing, no excuses, no showing up late.Time is life – why respecting others’ time is the deepest form of respect.Rocks, pebbles, and sand – putting first things first when it comes to priorities.Accountability practices – $50 late fines and $200 missed-meeting fines to reinforce integrity.Impeccability with your word – lessons from The Four Agreements.The true meaning of sin (to miss the mark) – and how it connects to integrity.When to say no – why refusing commitments you can’t keep is more honorable than overpromising.Going all in – what it looks like to honor commitments in body, mind, and spirit.Timestamp Takeaways0:05 – Commitment as a transformative peer group tool.0:28 – Why men resist committing and what’s really underneath the excuses.1:03 – What “I have no choice” actually means about priorities.2:05 – How showing up for peer groups translates into showing up in life.2:53 – The “rocks in the jar” metaphor for prioritizing core values.3:23 – Brotherhood, funerals, and why these men would carry Dr. B’s casket.4:08 – Fines and accountability: $50 for being late, $200 for missing.5:00 – Time is life: why punctuality is respect.5:27 – The Four Agreements: “Be impeccable with your word.”6:01 – Sin as “missing the mark”—living out of alignment with your integrity.7:18 – One-year minimum commitment: why “testing it out” isn’t real commitment.7:45 – Saying no with courage versus committing without integrity.8:15 – The call to be all in—living impeccably through every commitment.Commitment is not about convenience—it’s about integrity. A man’s word, honored consistently in the small things and the big ones, is the true measure of his character.

27 Okt 8min

On the morning of 9/11, former ATP top-100 tennis pro Jeff Salzenstein rode the subway through the World Trade Center stop—ten minutes before impact. That near-miss, and later the harrowing fight to save his brother from addiction, shaped a life philosophy that puts meaning over medals. In this raw, uplifting conversation, Jeff and Dr. B explore purpose (“your why”), identity beyond achievements, and how true growth blends the warrior’s drive with the lover’s heart.Join our Own Your Number Enneagram Program just for 98$, and well, own your relationships. Check out here: https://ownyournumber.defiantspirit.org/pages/home🔹 What You'll Learn:Near-miss at 9/11 — Survival sharpens perspective.The power of WHY — Purpose as self-transcendence, not self-achievement.Identity beyond titles — You’re not your résumé.Numbers vs. meaning — Rankings and money are tools, not truth.Process over prize — Growth comes from pursuit, not outcome.Self-reliance forged early — Tennis as a dojo for discipline and entrepreneurship.Living paradox — Warrior drive × Lover’s heart = authentic power.Stage as service — Speaking and coaching as giving, not ego.Family and loss — Brother’s addiction and death as catalyst for healing.Brokenness to wholeness — Scars become a source of connection.True fulfillment — Lasting joy comes from service, not success.📌 Timestamp Highlights:[00:00–02:00] 9/11 near-miss — Jeff passes through the World Trade Center subway stop minutes before impact; survival reshapes perspective.[04:20–06:12] Discovering his WHY — Purpose framed as self-transcendence and breaking generational patterns.[08:01–11:04] Beyond “Top-100” — Why Jeff resists being defined by accolades and wants to be known for his heart.[12:15–14:12] Process over prize — Tennis wasn’t about loving the game; it was about mastery, resilience, and performance.[18:01–20:26] Solopreneur origins — Alone on the courts since age 4, learning self-reliance and discipline.[21:17–23:01] The ceiling of being seen — Insecurity with the world’s best; fear of visibility limited growth.[25:09–27:19] Stage as service — Reframing competition skills into speaking and coaching with heart.[40:03–42:11] The hollowness of winning — Why trophies and money don’t satisfy; fulfillment requires serving others.[47:02–51:18] Brother’s overdose and intervention — Chaos, rehab, prison, transformation, relapse, and tragic loss.[51:54–53:30] Sparks of meaning — Carrying shards of pain from darkness to light for self and others.[54:00–55:20] Closing loop — From 9/11 to family loss, Jeff embraces brokenness as the path to wholeness and service.🔔 Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baruch_halevi/Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/TheDefiantSpirit#Enneagram #EnneagramType #EnneagramTest #Man #Men #DefiantSpirit #DrBaruchHaLevi #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth

23 Okt 55min

In today’s episode, Dr. Baruch HaLevi explores one of the oldest yet most overlooked tools for transformation—confidentiality. In an age of constant oversharing, “leaky boundaries,” and broken trust, the ability to hold confidence is rare but essential. Drawing from his years as a rabbi and his work leading men’s peer groups, Dr. B unpacks why confidentiality is foundational for growth, vulnerability, and authentic connection. You’ll discover how keeping confidence strengthens relationships, why confession and safe spaces are timeless human needs, and how practicing this tool can transform not just peer groups, but marriages, friendships, and communities.==Join our Own Your Number Enneagram Program just for 98$, and well, own your relationships. Check out here: https://ownyournumber.defiantspirit.org/pages/home🔹 What You'll Learn:Confidentiality as a life tool – not just for peer groups, but for every relationship.Why breaches happen – from accidental texts to cocktail party slips.The spiritual dimension of confession – why humans need safe spaces to share burdens.Clergy lessons learned – how Dr. B’s time as a rabbi shaped his understanding of trust.Peer group boundaries – “What’s said here stays here. What’s learned here can be shared.” The slippery slope of sharing what’s not yours – how it slowly erodes trust.Men and vulnerability – why many carry too much alone, and how confidentiality opens the door to authentic connection.Transformational growth – how learning to hold and share in confidence softens hearts and strengthens relationships.📌 Timestamp Highlights:0:05 – Why peer group tools matter—and why they’re universal.0:28 – Confidentiality defined as a timeless, transformational tool.0:54 – How trust is broken in subtle, everyday ways.1:38 – Lessons from the rabbi’s chair: why holding confidence is sacred.2:16 – Confession as a primal, spiritual act across traditions.3:18 – Peer group rules: what’s said here stays here.3:50 – Why even a small “slip” in confidence chips away at trust.5:09 – Men carrying burdens alone and the need for safe spaces.6:02 – Dr. B’s personal journey: learning to trust again after past breaches.7:00 – How practicing confidentiality attracts deeper, higher-quality relationships.🔔 Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baruch_halevi/Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/TheDefiantSpirit#Enneagram #EnneagramType #EnneagramTest #Man #Men #DefiantSpirit #DrBaruchHaLevi #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth

20 Okt 7min

Every 13 minutes in America, a man takes his own life. In this powerful episode, Dr. Baruch “B” HaLevi goes straight to the deep end with guest Justin Smith—an actuary and father—on how stats, fatherhood, and men’s peer groups can move us from numb survival to purpose. They unpack the cost of never stating your preferences, why midlife math matters, and how modeling emotional fitness at home can change generations.Join our Own Your Number Enneagram Program just for 98$, and well, own your relationships. Check out here: https://ownyournumber.defiantspirit.org/pages/home🔹 What You'll Learn:Purpose is practiced, not guessed. Use data to inform your life, not replace your humanity.Stating preferences is intimacy work; silence breeds unfair resentment.Model what you want your kids to emulate: movement, honest emotion, and community.Midlife math is motivating: your time isn’t infinite—act accordingly.Peer groups give men consistent, skilled relationships beyond acquaintances.📌 Timestamp Highlights:[00:00–00:36] Why “13 Minutes” — Every 13 minutes a man dies by suicide; Dr. B sets the gravity of the show.[01:06–02:06] Actuary’s take — Justin explains risk groups, isolation, veterans, and nuance behind the statistic.[07:44–08:55] Fatherhood as a mirror — Becoming a dad forces him to confront his habits and live with purpose.[09:03–10:01] Advice to 13-year-old self — Passion matters more than money; today you can build a life doing almost anything.[15:18–17:13] Raising a son differently — Affection, roughhousing, agency, and modeling emotional availability.[18:26–22:13] “Chinese vs. tacos” story — How avoiding preferences builds hidden resentment that later erupts.[24:20–26:21] Therapy & repair — Couples and individual therapy open space for honesty in his marriage.[27:58–29:32] Midlife math — At 39–40, your “life left” becomes less than what you’ve lived—true midlife.[36:19–39:11] Model it, don’t preach it — Kids learn fitness and emotional expression by seeing it lived.[39:42–40:48] Dad’s note on joyless sacrifice — A generational shift in parenting and purpose.[41:47–44:00] The email that changed their relationship — Vulnerability with his father deepens their bond.[44:31–46:12] Peer group breakthrough — From resisting connection to craving it monthly.[47:27–48:46] Zero→One courage — Breaking generational patterns by being the first to step into peer groups.🔔 Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baruch_halevi/Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/TheDefiantSpirit#Enneagram #EnneagramType #EnneagramTest #Man #Men #DefiantSpirit #DrBaruchHaLevi #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth

16 Okt 55min

In this episode, Dr. Baruch HaLevi dives into one of the most transformative tools he teaches in men’s peer groups: the practice of experience sharing. Too often, men (and people in general) fall into the trap of giving advice—“you should do this”—which shuts down real connection and growth. Instead, Dr. B shows how shifting from fixing mode to sharing our own lived experience opens the door to authenticity, dignity, and transformation. Whether you’re a father, husband, coach, or simply someone striving to show up better in your relationships, this episode reveals how to move beyond advice-giving and step into true presence and empathy.==Join our Own Your Number Enneagram Program just for 98$, and well, own your relationships. Check out here: https://ownyournumber.defiantspirit.org/pages/home🔹 What You'll Learn: The danger of “should-ing” – how advice shuts down conversation and connection.Experience sharing explained – why telling your story helps others uncover their own solutions.From clergy to coach – Dr. B’s journey of learning to let go of giving answers.The dignity of free will – respecting others’ autonomy, even when they ask for advice.Peer group practices – how men’s circles use tapping and tools to shift out of fixing mode.Gestalt perspective – seeing the whole person instead of just their problem.📌 Timestamp Highlights:0:05 – Why men’s peer groups are so powerful and how tools apply to everyday life.0:43 – “Should-ing all over everyone”: the natural impulse to give advice.1:18 – How Dr. B’s background as a rabbi reinforced the expectation of having the answers.2:18 – The impact of giving advice: shutting down conversations with kids and peers.2:41 – Introduction to experience sharing as an alternative to advice.3:38 – Adapting the level of guidance for children at different ages (4 vs. 14 vs. 24).4:02 – Gestalt and the importance of seeing the “whole” rather than fragments.5:15 – Why even as a coach or therapist, Dr. B refuses to dictate choices.6:14 – Maintaining a man’s dignity and free will instead of giving the “easy out.”6:50 – Why listening, empathizing, and sharing experiences is the real path to transformation.🔔 Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baruch_halevi/Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/TheDefiantSpirit#Enneagram #EnneagramType #EnneagramTest #Man #Men #DefiantSpirit #DrBaruchHaLevi #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth

13 Okt 7min

In this deeply personal solo episode of 13 Minutes (The Podcast), host B shares the single most important poem he has ever read: "The Guy in the Glass." This poem is the key to understanding B's life's work and the haunting story at its core, the suicide of his father. B recounts in visceral detail how his father's final moments were spent dying by suffocation while staring at his own reflection in a mirror. This harrowing image has fueled B's 18-year journey to "take his father down from the rope" and serves as the central theme of his upcoming book of the same name. This episode is a raw exploration of self-worth, accountability, and the lies men tell themselves. B discusses:-His own journey from a ""superstar rabbi"" to the brink of suicide in Israel, where he felt worth more dead than alive.-The secret history of the poem and its original focus on ""pelf"" (ill-gotten gains), and why men are 16x more likely to die by suicide over financial issues. -The ""Rubik's Cube"" analogy for self-deceit and why you can't cheat the guy in the glass.-Why he passionately believes ""cancel culture"" is the societal version of what his father did to himself. This is more than a story of tragedy; it's a defiant call to action. It’s a mission to help every man look in the mirror and befriend, love, and respect the person staring back. It is the foundation of the 13 Minute Mission: to push back the devastating statistic of male suicide and help men choose life.In This Episode, We Discuss:(00:28) B recites the poem that changed his life, "The Guy in the Glass."(02:18) The haunting story of his father's suicide and his final moments staring in a mirror.(05:05) Why his father "canceled himself" and the destructive nature of judging a life by its worst moments.(08:47) The secret history of the poem and its original word, "pelf" (ill-gotten gains).(10:16) The shocking statistic: Men are 16x more likely than women to die by suicide over financial issues.(13:40) The mirror exercise: Why so many successful men can't look themselves in the eye.(15:51) How B's own success as a "superstar rabbi" made him lose respect for the guy in his glass.(19:51) The George Bailey moment: B's own journey to the brink and the "why" that kept him from taking his own life.(22:52) The "Rubik's Cube" Analogy: What happens when a man starts believing his own lies.(28:34) The 13 Minute Mission: Pushing back the statistic to save 2,888 men's lives this year alone. About the Host: The host of the podcast is B. B., a Logotherapist (meaning-centered therapy), men's coach, and co-founder of Men's Peer Groups. Drawing from his personal journey as a third-generation suicide survivor and his professional experience as a former rabbi, B is on a mission to help men discover, articulate, and live their "Why." Learn More About Men's Peer Groups: https://www.menspeergroups.com/B's Professional Website: https://www.bhalevi.com/Connect with B on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/baruch-halevi/#TheGuyInTheGlass #MensMentalHealth #SuicidePrevention #SelfRespect #PersonalAccountability #FindingYourWhy #Logotherapy #Podcast

9 Okt 29min

Most men wait until tension boils over before they speak up. But what if you could prevent blowups by clearing the air while things are still small? In this episode, Dr. B introduces one of the most powerful men’s peer group tools: clearing. It’s simple, but not simplistic—and practicing it can transform trust, intimacy, and resilience in every relationship.Big Ideas CoveredWhat clearing is — a proactive way to “discharge tension” before it becomes conflict.Why it matters — unspoken slights erode trust over time; small honesty creates big safety.How it works — in peer groups, men go around and state who they are “clear” with and why.Learning to say hard things — practicing honesty in a kind, direct way.Learning to hear hard things — resisting defensiveness, fixing, or turning it back.Why “clear is kind” — Brené Brown’s reminder that avoiding truth is actually unkind.Everyday examples — spinach in teeth, a missed email, a forgotten reply; courage is in the little things.Real courage — not just running into burning buildings, but keeping your heart open in conversation.Notable Moments:[00:06–01:20] What is clearing? — A tool to release steam before small issues become big problems.[01:23–02:00] How it looks in practice — “I’m clear with John… I’m not clear with James, here’s why.”[02:52–03:48] Learning to hear hard things — Receiving without defensiveness, fixing, or firing back.[04:39–05:26] The spinach test — Why not speaking up about the little things erodes trust.[05:41–06:12] Brené Brown reminder — “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.”[06:17–06:41] Courage redefined — True courage is saying and hearing the hard things that keep our hearts open.Clearing is simple, repeatable, and transformative. It builds muscle for honesty, compassion, and courage—whether with your wife, your friends, or your team. Want to go deeper?

6 Okt 6min