97. Navigating Betrayal Anger with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, a therapist, trauma survivor, and author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be. They explore a topic that is often misunderstood and shamed: the intense and very normal anger experienced by betrayed partners after betrayal.

For too long, the clinical field has labeled this anger as “vengeful” or “unforgiving.” Crystal helps us flip that narrative, showing why anger is a natural, healthy response to the profound injustice of betrayal and an important part of the healing journey.

In this episode, you will hear about:

Why anger is a natural response and how betrayal creates deep emotional and nervous system reactions
The S.C.I.P. Protocol, Crystal’s 4-step tool, Sit down, Calm down, Identify, and Process, for navigating triggers
Anger on the brain and why it is impossible to reason through a trigger when the amygdala is hijacked
Reframing for the partner who betrayed and how accountability, consistency, and presence can reduce ongoing anger
Moving toward repair and how seeing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a flaw supports connection and empathy

By reframing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a character flaw, couples can move from defensiveness to empathy, and from shame to true repair.

Click here to download Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s S.C.I.P. Protocol.

Click here to purchase Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s book, Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be.

Want to connect with us? Click here to book your free 15-minute call.

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Jaksot(113)

112. The First Glance vs. The Second Look: Objectification and Rebuilding Visual Safety

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16 Loka 29min

111. Why the Past Won't Stay in the Past (And That’s Okay)

In this episode, Marnie explores a common experience for many betrayed partners: returning to the betrayal again and again, revisiting details, asking the same questions, and trying to understand what...

21 Syys 10min

110. The Abandonment Wound, Betrayal, and the Road to Healing

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1 Syys 1h 3min

109. When Needing Feels Unsafe: Understanding Dependency, Shame, and Healthy Interdependence

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25 Elo 34min

108. Who Are You Trusting With Your Betrayal Trauma?

In this episode, Marnie explores the importance of carefully choosing who you trust with your healing. When you have already experienced betrayal, deception, and a loss of trust, finding the right per...

17 Elo 28min

107. Looking Back, Living Forward: What I Didn’t Say

In this follow-up to the previous episode, Marnie revisits the conversation about grief, healing, and moving forward after betrayal. Reflecting on what she wishes she had said, she expands on two impo...

27 Heinä 10min

106. Looking Back, Living Forward

In this episode, Marnie explores a painful reality of healing after betrayal: the relationship you thought you had before discovery no longer exists. While it is natural to long for the "before" and w...

16 Heinä 22min

105. Women Healing Together

On this special episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie and Maddie are joined by Ally, Amy, and Shauna, who attended our first Empowered at Sea retreat. Together, they share honest reflect...

25 Kesä 1h 5min