Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

On this episode of Movie Torture, the boys somehow turn Revenge of the Nerds into a full-blown discussion about boogers, mooning, prison sentences, and whether MTD belongs with the Alpha Betas or the Lambda Lambdas. Brad immediately hijacks the show by proudly announcing that if anybody on the podcast is Booger, it is 100% him, then follows it up with a Navy story about pulling a booger the size of a corn kernel out of his face like he just discovered buried treasure. Jacob contributes by explaining the emotional devastation of thinking you have a bat in the cave and finding out your nose was just lying to you.

Once they finally remember there is a movie to talk about, Brad gets sentimental about Robert Carradine, because to him Lewis will always be a legend, a laugh, and a man who somehow made giant glasses look cool. The guys agree the movie is a complete 80s time capsule, right down to the outfits, the soundtrack, the robot side chick, and a fraternity system that would now lead to about 47 separate felony counts and a Dateline special.

From there, the episode becomes a courtroom drama disguised as a comedy recap. Brad and Jacob basically spend an hour deciding which characters are going to jail and for how long. The nerds are somehow lovable and criminal at the same time, the jocks are idiots, and everyone in the movie appears to be one bad decision away from doing 15 to life. Brad repeatedly reminds everyone that Lewis is not surviving modern law enforcement, especially after the Darth Vader moon bounce incident, while Jacob tries to keep at least one foot in reality and point out that none of this is remotely okay, even if it is funny.

They also stop the movie several times to argue about whether Brad is actually a nerd, which turns into a side quest about Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Brad’s refusal to be grouped with “full-course nerds.” Jacob insists Brad is Lewis, Brad insists Jacob is Gilbert, and somewhere in the middle MTD gets promoted to Lewis’s dad, which honestly feels right.

Other major topics include: whether MTD ordered the Honda Civic as a lateral move, whether random mooning should be illegal, whether George Soros funded the nerd house rebuild, whether the Asian nerd’s tricycle beer race was secretly the best event in cinema history, and why Brad’s son apparently turned into a ding-dong-ditching athlete just to prove Brad can run stairs.

By the end, Brad once again reminds the audience that ChatGPT says he’s funnier than Jacob, which Jacob clearly takes as a personal act of war.