The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free

The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free

Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, Forrest explains the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then he and Dr. Rick explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro and overview of self-abandonment 4:38: What are we abandoning? 8:30: The self-abandonment loop 21:55: How a parts model can help us understand the shame 26:20: The double-bind of self-criticism 32:56: How to get out of the double-bind 41:34: Anger and resentment 49:47: Moving from shame to grief 56:15: Breaking the self-abandonment loop 1:10:22: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Treating Shame with Self-Compassion with Dr. Chris Germer

Treating Shame with Self-Compassion with Dr. Chris Germer

Shame is one of the hardest emotions to work with, in part because it blocks what we need most when we’re feeling shame: self-compassion. Dr. Chris Germer, co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion ...

28 Syys 1h 11min

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: What the Critics Get Right (and Wrong) w/ Dr. Ellen Hendriksen

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: What the Critics Get Right (and Wrong) w/ Dr. Ellen Hendriksen

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the world's most researched, recommended, and criticized form of therapy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen joins Forrest to talk about what CBT is, its ...

21 Syys 1h 33min

The New Science of Pain: It's Not Just Physical with Dr. Rachel Zoffness

The New Science of Pain: It's Not Just Physical with Dr. Rachel Zoffness

Pain psychologist Dr. Rachel Zoffness joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to explore what pain is, why it can persist long after an injury has healed, and what actually helps. Rachel explains why the brain, ra...

14 Syys 1h 48min

People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change

People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change

Dr. Rick and Forrest talk about what separates people-pleasing from the fawn response, and why those differences affect what actually helps. They trace the surprising history behind both ideas, explai...

11 Syys 1h 12min

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. T...

31 Elo 1h 17min

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to be...

24 Elo 1h 25min

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulat...

17 Elo 1h 10min

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language es...

10 Elo 1h 1min

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