185 - Why Do I Keep Getting Angry Over The Same Things?

185 - Why Do I Keep Getting Angry Over The Same Things?

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through three powerful mindset shifts to help break the cycle of repeating anger. Whether it is the same argument with your partner, the same trigger at work or the same driver cutting you off, he explains why the pattern keeps happening and what you can do to finally change it.

Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the root of why anger keeps repeating. These are real, practical shifts. And the good news is they are skills anyone can learn.

Key Takeaways:

  • Repeating anger patterns do not mean something is wrong with you. There is a specific reason the same things keep triggering you, and once you understand it, everything changes.
  • Practicing acceptance is not about being passive. It means letting go of the idea that anger will change what you cannot control. When you stop fighting that battle, your anger has nowhere to go.
  • Empathy is one of the most powerful tools in relationships. When you pause and ask what might be going on for the other person, the defensiveness drops and there is suddenly room for a real conversation.
  • Anger makes things feel urgent and catastrophic. Most of the time they are not. Asking yourself whether this will matter in a year gives you a fast way to check if the anger is worth it.
  • Maintaining perspective also means remembering that everyone makes mistakes, including you. That awareness makes you more forgiving and less likely to repeat the same argument.
  • These are skills, not personality traits. With practice, they can fundamentally change how you respond to the things that used to set you off.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you would like help breaking the cycle of anger and building calmer, more loving relationships:


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Jaksot(205)

204 - Your Job Isn't Making You Angry. Here's What's Really Happening.

204 - Your Job Isn't Making You Angry. Here's What's Really Happening.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people believe their boss, workload or difficult colleagues are causing their anger. But what if that's not actually true? In this episode,...

26 Syys 8min

203 - "I Was Destroying My Family". How One Man Finally Controlled His Anger

203 - "I Was Destroying My Family". How One Man Finally Controlled His Anger

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Five weeks earlier, Cyrus believed he was beyond help. His wife was afraid of him. His children were living with the effects of his anger. Today...

19 Syys 15min

202 - You Might Be Emotionally Abusive Without Knowing It. Here's the Pattern That Proves It.

202 - You Might Be Emotionally Abusive Without Knowing It. Here's the Pattern That Proves It.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people who become emotionally abusive don't wake up intending to hurt the person they love. But unmanaged anger can quietly become emotiona...

12 Syys 11min

201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know

201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com/.Every parent loses their patience sometimes. But when anger becomes a pattern, it affects far more than one difficult moment. In this episode, ...

5 Syys 12min

200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong.

200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why can't I control my anger?" you're not alone. Most people believe anger simply happens to them. In thi...

29 Elo 10min

199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes

199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think anger is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the split second between the trigger and your reaction. In this episode, y...

22 Elo 12min

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner. You work hard. You show up. Yet somehow the distance between you keeps growing. Conversations feel flat...

15 Elo 12min

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Colin knew he had an anger problem. His wife knew it too. She asked him more than once to get help, but like many people strug...

8 Elo 12min

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