186 - How 6 Hours A Week Could Save Your Relationship

186 - How 6 Hours A Week Could Save Your Relationship

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven simple habits, drawn from the research of relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman, that can fundamentally change how connected, loved and secure you and your partner feel.

Whether your relationship has drifted into silence, feels more like a housemate arrangement or simply lacks the warmth it once had, these habits show exactly where to start.

Rather than offering grand romantic gestures or an overhaul of your entire week, Alastair explains how just six intentional hours, built from small, consistent moments, can rebuild a relationship from the inside out.

And the good news is, most of what he shares takes minutes, not hours.

Key Takeaways:

  • Most couples don't fall apart because of one big thing. They drift apart because of 100 small things, and the same is true in reverse. Small habits can erode a relationship, and small habits can rebuild it.
  • The way you say goodbye in the morning sets the emotional tone for both of you for hours afterwards. A moment of real contact before you part, a hug, a kind word, genuine eye contact, is worth far more than most people realise.
  • Reunions matter just as much as goodbyes. A genuine reconnection when you walk back through the door signals safety and warmth. It tells your partner they matter more than the chaos of the day.
  • We are wired to notice what is wrong. If you are not intentional about appreciation, the frustrations get all the attention and the good stuff goes unspoken. A daily habit of expressing genuine admiration changes the whole atmosphere of a relationship, often faster than people expect.
  • Physical affection throughout the day, a hand on the shoulder, sitting close, a proper hug, builds what researchers call emotional bonding. Words alone cannot create it.
  • A daily stress-reducing conversation is not about logistics. It is about each other's inner world. And crucially, the role of the listener is just to listen, not to fix, not to advise. Just to be present. This is a skill, and it gets easier with practice.
  • A weekly relationship check-in stops small problems from becoming big ones. Nothing festers, nothing builds into the kind of resentment that takes months to untangle. It can feel awkward at first. But it works.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support putting these habits into practice, or if anger or arguments have been getting in the way of the relationship you want:


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Jaksot(205)

204 - Your Job Isn't Making You Angry. Here's What's Really Happening.

204 - Your Job Isn't Making You Angry. Here's What's Really Happening.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people believe their boss, workload or difficult colleagues are causing their anger. But what if that's not actually true? In this episode,...

26 Syys 8min

203 - "I Was Destroying My Family". How One Man Finally Controlled His Anger

203 - "I Was Destroying My Family". How One Man Finally Controlled His Anger

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Five weeks earlier, Cyrus believed he was beyond help. His wife was afraid of him. His children were living with the effects of his anger. Today...

19 Syys 15min

202 - You Might Be Emotionally Abusive Without Knowing It. Here's the Pattern That Proves It.

202 - You Might Be Emotionally Abusive Without Knowing It. Here's the Pattern That Proves It.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people who become emotionally abusive don't wake up intending to hurt the person they love. But unmanaged anger can quietly become emotiona...

12 Syys 11min

201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know

201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com/.Every parent loses their patience sometimes. But when anger becomes a pattern, it affects far more than one difficult moment. In this episode, ...

5 Syys 12min

200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong.

200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why can't I control my anger?" you're not alone. Most people believe anger simply happens to them. In thi...

29 Elo 10min

199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes

199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think anger is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the split second between the trigger and your reaction. In this episode, y...

22 Elo 12min

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner. You work hard. You show up. Yet somehow the distance between you keeps growing. Conversations feel flat...

15 Elo 12min

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Colin knew he had an anger problem. His wife knew it too. She asked him more than once to get help, but like many people strug...

8 Elo 12min

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