The Vatican's Darkest Secret, Ivanka and Jared's New Island & Sam Goes Full Anarchist

Sam, Dylan, and Dark Smith are back to break down: Dylan returning from Italy with food poisoning and 50 silent farts blamed on his infant daughter in economy class, Sam officially declaring himself a solo anarchist who is never voting again, the Three Secrets of Fatima and the Portuguese shepherd children who received apocalyptic prophecies from the Virgin Mary that correctly predicted World War Two, the Vatican suppressing the third secret for 40 years because it was too dark even for the Pope who went pale reading it, the theory that Vatican II was literally Satan infiltrating the Catholic Church from the inside, Sister Lucy possibly assassinated and replaced with a body double, the Gray Wolves hitman connected to NATO's Operation Gladio and the bullet now sitting in the Virgin Mary's crown, the new Pope's 40,000-word anti-AI manifesto and whether Catholics can now sue employers on religious freedom grounds for being forced to use ChatGPT, the alleged Palantir hack revealing the biggest blackmail operation since Epstein with Trump, Vance, and Elon's conversations sitting in a CIA spy cloud, Peter Thiel fleeing to Argentina right as it surfaces, Ivanka casually announcing she's buying a private Mediterranean island funded by Saudi weapons money, Hunter Biden's actually solid tweet about Don Jr. and Eric's corruption being way worse than his paintings, two Colombian tribes settling a land dispute with clubs while the women livestream it, a man in the UK getting stabbed and bleeding out in handcuffs while cops side with his attacker, Google dropping 32 million sterilized mosquitoes on California and Florida, Ben Shapiro playing Fortnite to save the Daily Wire's YouTube numbers, and Sam's scorched-earth eulogy for Scott Pelley and every journalist who stayed quiet through all of it. Rest in peace Jerry Rocha. Subscribe and give us that sweet brown hype.

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