188 - Is Anger Management Change Sustainable? Michael's Story

188 - Is Anger Management Change Sustainable? Michael's Story

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Michael, a man in his late 70s who completed Alastair's anger management program 18 months ago, to find out one simple thing: did the change last?

Whether you have tried to control your anger before and slipped back, or you are wondering whether it is even worth starting, this conversation offers a real and honest answer.

Rather than offering theory, Alastair lets Michael tell his own story, from the Christmas visit where his daughter confronted him about the kind of father he had been, to the calmer, more connected life he is living today.

And the good news is, Michael's experience shows that lasting change is possible, and probably not as hard as you think.

Key Takeaways:

  • The fear that change won't last stops a lot of people from ever trying. Michael's story is a direct answer to that fear. Eighteen months on, the changes are real and they have held.
  • Anger is almost always connected to a story you are telling yourself. Michael had come to believe his success entitled him to say whatever he wanted, however he wanted. Until he saw that story clearly, no technique could touch the root of it.
  • Controlling your anger is not about becoming a pushover. Michael stopped using anger as a tool to assert his position. He did not stop having opinions or standards.
  • Sustainable change happens when the motivation lives inside you, not in someone else's reaction. Michael's daughter has never acknowledged his change. He is genuinely okay with that, because he is doing it for himself, not for her approval.
  • It is easier than most people expect, but it requires ongoing practice. Michael still revisits his notes when old patterns start to creep in. Long-term change is not about white-knuckling difficult moments. It is about returning to the tools.
  • It is never too late. Michael is in his late 70s, calmer, closer to his wife, and rebuilding his relationship with his daughter. The work he did has made his life genuinely more enjoyable.

Resources & Next Steps:

If today's episode has made you think about your own anger and what lasting change might look like for you:


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Jaksot(205)

204 - Your Job Isn't Making You Angry. Here's What's Really Happening.

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203 - "I Was Destroying My Family". How One Man Finally Controlled His Anger

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For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Five weeks earlier, Cyrus believed he was beyond help. His wife was afraid of him. His children were living with the effects of his anger. Today...

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202 - You Might Be Emotionally Abusive Without Knowing It. Here's the Pattern That Proves It.

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201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know

201 - Is Your Anger Hurting Your Children? What Every Parent Needs to Know

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com/.Every parent loses their patience sometimes. But when anger becomes a pattern, it affects far more than one difficult moment. In this episode, ...

5 Syys 12min

200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong.

200 - Can You Actually Control Your Anger? What Most People Get Wrong.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why can't I control my anger?" you're not alone. Most people believe anger simply happens to them. In thi...

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199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes

199 - The Pause That Saves Your Relationship: How Mindfulness Stops Anger Before It Explodes

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think anger is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the split second between the trigger and your reaction. In this episode, y...

22 Elo 12min

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner. You work hard. You show up. Yet somehow the distance between you keeps growing. Conversations feel flat...

15 Elo 12min

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Colin knew he had an anger problem. His wife knew it too. She asked him more than once to get help, but like many people strug...

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