The Awesome Version of Rudolph Red Nosed Reindeer

The Awesome Version of Rudolph Red Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is probably one of the most famous Christmas stories in the world. I find that sad. I cannot for the life of me, understand what it is about this story that any parent would like their child to learn.Christmas stories like that typically have an underlying message that teach kids some life lesson or help them to understand things about the world. Rudolph is no exception to that rule. It’s just the wrong lesson. Let me explain. For those of you who have not heard the story. A beautiful reindeer is born, but he is a little different. He is not like the other reindeer. He had a shiny red nose that glows. It, through most of the story, causes him nothing but grief and bullshit; much like anybody who,God Forbid, is different than others and the world just can’t seem to grasp this.  With the exception of Rudolph’s mother, the entire town was on his ass for something he could not help, and something he could not change. He wasn’t like everyone else, so all the other asshole reindeer decide that they don’t like Rudolph because of this shiny red nose. They laughed at him and they called him names. Rudolph’s father even covers his nose with a fake black one so that Santa Clause will find him acceptable. Yes, Santa. There is a scene where Santa, wobbles his jolly fat ass right into the shop where Rudolph’s dad was putting the finishing touches on his new black nose. Rudolph’s dad informs him that he has the nose problems well under control. He explains to Santa that it won’t be a problem, and that is son won’t embarrass him. Rudolph had no friends, no family, and no support system. He for no reason was made to feel bad about himself. His own father and that White bearded, bag-toting, ho ho ho shouting, sack of shit who is loved across the globe, could not see the beauty in what was different about this gentle meek child reindeer. Sometime later, a storm came in. It was a storm that could have halted Christmas. Santa was very concerned. (so he claimed) He was worried that all the poor little children in the world would have to go without the toys that his slave colony of elves has been working on all year. Yes, he was screwed. Santa did not have a clue, and he did not have a plan. he stood outside and watched the storm roll in with nothing, but his dick in his hand. Then all of a sudden, Santa remembers Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. He thinks to himself “Yeah Rudolph! That is the reindeer whose balls I have been busting all year. He is the one that has no friends and whose life I have been ruining for the glorification of my ego.” So now that Santa’s plans are shit side up, he thinks of Rudolph. Santa realizes that Rudolph’s shiny red nose can be of service to him and to the rest of the bastards who ostracized him and shut him out. Their lives can now be easier with Rudolph’s nose. So Santa, and Rudolph’s father, and all the other Shit-bag reindeer went to Rudolph, humble for the first time. Santa looking at the ground says “Hey Rudolph, as you know there is a storm coming and we are all really up shit creek here. Would you mind using your nose so that we can all see where in the Hell we are going tonight?” OK, Now here comes the Bullshit. Rudolph proudly agrees, to escort these son’s of bitches. He just tucked his tail and bailed these assholes out. This basically the story of Rudolph. I would like to apologize on behalf of Director: Larry Roemer, and Writers: Robert May, Romeo Muller. Literarily speaking they have corn-holed us all. All these years you have had to know the story as it is and it is all because of these three assholes Well your pain ends today. I, Tom Nardone, and I would like to present a more proper ending to this story. I now present the Tom Nardone ending. “Hey Rudolph, as you know there is a storm coming and we are all really up shit creek here. Would you mind using your nose so that we can all see where in the Hell we are going tonight?” Rudolph agrees. (Now stay with me) So on the night they leave, the reindeer get harnessed up, and they all take to the air from the North Pole. Santa is relieved; he could not believe that his gelatinous ass was finally airborne, and everything would work out okay, or so it seemed. Presenting: Rudolph the Rad-Nosed Reindeer. Rudolph was at the head of the pack leading the way to spread Christmas cheer to the whole world. About twenty minutes into the flight, they were clear of land. Then Rudolph, seeing, that they were now flying over the ocean, breaks a sinister grin. He detaches himself from his harness and flies around alongside the sleigh and says to Santa and all the reindeer. Rudolph’s nose increased its brightness casting a fiery red aura around himself as he spoke: “ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE TREATED LIKE ANY OTHER REINDEER, BUT ALL OF YOU CHOSE TO SHIT ON ME!  SO YOU PRICKS THINK ABOUT THAT ON YOUR WAY TO HELL. I  THIRST FOR THE TEARS YOU WILL SHED AS YOU CRASH THIS PIECE OF SHIT SLEIGH INTO THE OCEAN, WHILE TRYING TO FLY THIS MOTHER-F#CKER BLIND!! BEFORE YOU DIE. KNOW THIS!! I AM GOING BACK TO CHRISTMAS TOWN, AND I’M GONNA BURN THAT MOTHERFU#KER TO THE GROUND WHILE THE WHOLE TOWN SLEEPS!!! I WILL DRINK YAGER FROM THE SKULL OF AN ELF, AND EAT VENISON AS I STAND IN THE CREMATORY THAT YOU ASSHOLES ONCE CALLED HOME, I WILL WAIT FOR THE WHOLE TOWN TO BURN. WHEN IT IS COMPLETE I WILL GATHER THE ASHES AND THEM IM GONNA BURN THE F#CKING ASHES. YOU DOUCHE-BAGS DENIED ME A MERRY CHRISTMAS, SO I WILL JUST MAKE MY OWN HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! SO MERRY CHRISTMAS ASSHOLES, MERRY FU@%ING CHRISTMAS. Rudolph then flew away leaving Santa and the other reindeer without any hope of survival.

Jaksot(103)

ADHD or just an @##-Hole

ADHD or just an @##-Hole

One characteristic of ADHD People is Irritability. This is my biggest struggle. I am impatient and I have said before the trouble with the earth is its inhabitants. It is usually strangers who give me the most aggravation. They are completely unaware what is going through my mind. When I see their buffoonery in the way that they drive their cars or complain about shit out loud, I have nothing but contempt for them and the air they breathe. I feel as a hostage when I am not able to get away from them. I believe that is my ADHD and while medication keeps it at bay, it is still difficult for me and many ADHD people to just blow off and dismiss.   Perhaps many of these people are ADHD. Does that matter while I am being aggravated?

4 Helmi 201530min

ADHD / ADD | The ADHD Kitchen, Where Trouble is Always Cooking

ADHD / ADD | The ADHD Kitchen, Where Trouble is Always Cooking

ADHD / ADD | The ADHD Kitchen, Where Trouble is Always Cooking In an ADHD household the kitchen is always a source of trouble. Whether it is the cooking the cleaning or the things that break and cause us to have to make unplanned trips off the couch. Yvonne and I in what will likely be a many part series will focus on the food and food preparation issues that plague ADHD households. In a world that makes no sense to me but perfect sense to her is the source of this broadcast. I do not believe we made any progress but that is not the nature of what we do here at the Tom Nardone Show. We are here to celebrate our differences and prove to the world that in a happy marriage (particularly an ADHD marriage) the Kitchen is not a battle worth fighting. I am Tom Nardone, and You are welcome. (If you would like to get in touch with us) Email: tom@adhdpeople.net Web:  http://tomnardone.net http://adhdpeople.net http://thetomnardoneshow.com Twitter: @adhdpeople @tomnardoneshow

2 Helmi 201529min

ADHDADD | The Would You Rather Game

ADHDADD | The Would You Rather Game

What dose this have to do with ADHD? I am Tom Nardone and I am ADHD! That is what it has to do with ADHD. My wife and I decided to play one of our favorite games this week. We call it what I guess everyone else who plays it calls it. Would you rather. I think it was funny so it became episode 5. Enjoy. Just a fun show nothing ground breaking.

2 Helmi 201536min

ADHD / ADD |  A New Years Resolution Battle Royale

ADHD / ADD | A New Years Resolution Battle Royale

It is common for ADHD people to make new years resolutions for them selves. Yvonne have  made new years resolutions but not for ourselves. I made Yvonnes resolutions and she made mine. We revealed them to each other on the show. This is one of two pilot shows we released early on. So please enjoy the ADHD couples New Years Resolution Battle Royale.

30 Tammi 201530min

ADHD / ADD Dating Disasters

ADHD / ADD Dating Disasters

ADHD Dating Disasters We have all been on them and the stories while not pretty are hilarious. I could never seem to get a date and stopped asking girls out. I turned to dating services where I could meet other women who could not get a date. I have dated some real losers and even met the woman who I now refer to as my evil ex--wife Yvonne talks about her blind dates because she too is ADHD. Yvonne found it difficult to get someone to ask her out. We invite you to learn about why dating sucks and the people who made them suck. Hear about Yvonne’s worst blind date ever who she calls switch-blade Eddie. It is a potpourri of ADHD dating chaos.   I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome.

26 Tammi 201529min

ADHD / ADD  Tom Nardone's "Theory of Pants"

ADHD / ADD Tom Nardone's "Theory of Pants"

This is our very first Podcast so please forgive the sound I assure you it is entertaining. I thought it would be fitting since this was the first podcast because it was also the first Blog post I have ever written Whether or not we are ADHD, mostt of us don’t have the luxury of living our lives on our laptops, being accountable only to our followers. We have to get up and leave the house. We have to go to our jobs, therefore, we have to be around people. What that means, hygienically speaking, is that we have to be clean. This is where my wife, Yvonne likes to butt heads with me and attempt to sway me in my unmovable, inflexible, unyielding, sound, well thought-out, and rigidly held theory about the pants I wear. My theory is as follows: A pair of pants can go several days, even weeks, yes weeks, plural, before needing to be put in the washer machine. I know many of you are making a face. You are cringing, and/or twitching at the thought of this. You would never consider this as an option, but I would ask that you at least give me a chance to explain to you people why you are all wrong. The human body simply does not treat a pair of pants in the same fashion that it does other articles of clothing.  Whether or not ADHD is a factor in this or not, I couldnt tell you for sure. I have found in the ADHD circles I am involved with, Most of the people tend to agree 100% or disagree 100%. There is seemingly no middle ground.

26 Tammi 201524min

ADHD /ADD | Meet Tom & Yvonne Nardone

ADHD /ADD | Meet Tom & Yvonne Nardone

Greetings ADHD People. I am Tom Nardone and I am pleased to bring you up to date on a couple of things. My wife Yvonne and I have been working hard over the past month, and I am now pleased to officially announce “OUR” (ughhh) new Podcast’ on its own website.  As many of you know we have already released 2 pilot episodes earlier this year and we were appreciative of the response  we got from so many of you. We will be discussing the things that many ADHD couples discuss only we will be doing it on the show. Yvonne will disagree with me a lot because apparently she likes to argue. I will of course be all to willing to explain to her why she is wrong. We will speak about throwing food into the woods, letting the laundry pile up , and even the wearing of pajamas out in public. I am actually trying to convince Yvonne to do a show in a public store while we wear our pajamas.  We will have interesting guests who will not be permitted to discuss brain scans, types of diagnoses, medical theories, medication, ways to become more efficient, or most words beginning with the prefix, “neuro”. We support, appreciate and understand the value of all of this, but it is simply just not the function of our show. We are a real ADHD couple who really have ADHD and while we hope this show may somehow help you, its purpose is to entertain you and help you understand that you are not alone and having ADHD does not have to be a guaranteed miserable existence. I love ADHD people and it has been and remains my privilege to address so many of you. I am so excited to be able to communicate with you in this way. Please dont worry. Tom Nardone is still Tom Nardone. I had to learn all about Pod-casting in a very short period of time and put a studio together. It looks a lot like my man-cave but with a bunch more equipment in it. If you look carefully you might be able to spot some of it a midst the debris. Thank You Justine Ruotolo(Miss ADD), Jeff Copper, Eric Tivers, and Kim Trumbo. You have all inspired us to do this and without you believing in us first, it never would have happened. Below you can listen to episodes one and two. Early this week we will be releasing episodes 0,1 and 2. We hope to release two shows a week for the next 8 weeks. I know it is an exciting time to be a live and to have ADHD. The Tom Nardone Show is coming soon. ADHD is about to get a lot more fun.

26 Tammi 201535min

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