Paul Whitehouse: A Walk Down Comedies Memory Lane, Ted the Indifferent Dog, and a Vampire Bat Anatomy Lesson

In the final episode before our summer break, we're joined by Bob Mortimer's co-host, comedy royalty, Paul Whitehouse.

Paul who gets sniffed, interrogated, and thoroughly background-checked by a passive-aggressive AI bot with opinions about Rick Stein—alongside Bat Conservation Trust director Joe Nuñez-Miño for an hour of sketch-show mega-nostalgia, dodgy fishing anecdotes, and enough vampire bat trivia to ruin Halloween forever.

If you've ever wanted to hear a bat expert calmly explain that echolocation is actually a bat's expensive last resort behind perfectly good eyesight, or witness Harry's own AI son get tased with a homemade "Swiss Army taser" made from a nine-volt battery before the theme tune's even finished, listen up.

00:01 – Steve Bartlett's Diary of a CEO

02:47 – Licky Learns the Hard Way What a Taser Tastes Like

03:08 – Welcoming Paul Whitehouse

04:06 – Retirement Pods, Coffins, and the Case for Downsizing Into the Garden

06:04 – A Solemn Tribute to Ted, the Gone Fishing Dog Who Never Cared About Anyone

07:43 – A Heron Impression Decades in the Making, Featuring Isaac Walton

09:08 – Salmon Spearing, Feargal Sharkey, and a Rare Moment of Actual Politics

10:11 – Sarah the AI Bot

11:34 – Harry's Boyhood Fishing Career: Zero Fish, Infinite Trauma

12:22 – Sarah Reveals Paul's Dad Worked for the Coal Board and His Mum Sang Opera, Somehow Producing Paul

13:11 – Les Dennis Gets Decked by Bob Mortimer in a White-Collar Boxing Ring

14:22 – Paul's Mum Left School at Fourteen, Which Somehow Leads to a Welsh Choir Tangent

15:19 – Paul's Mum's Voice Turns Up on a Gone Fishing Recording and Everyone Loses It Slightly

16:33 – Harry Enfield Plays Harry Hill With a Bald Cap and Weaponised Tear Ducts

18:36 – Peter Fincham's Terrible Beatles-and-Stones Covers Band Staring Down Gary Barlow

20:19 – Sarah Digs Up a Punk Band Called The Right Hand Lovers

21:26 – Paul Firmly Denies Ever Squatting, Actually Worked for Enfield Council

22:34 – Five Years as a Plasterer, Which He Genuinely Enjoyed

23:44 – Paul Goes Mute for Five Weeks at School, Returns Speaking Full Mockney

24:59 – Sarah Wraps Up With The Fast Show, Gone Fishing, and Playing Argus Filch

28:39 – Turning Down a Twix on Account of Type 2 Diabetes

29:45 – Defending The Fast Show's Famously Rubbish Title

30:18 – A Clause 28 Joke Delivered Entirely in Character as Loadsamoney

31:19 – Pitching Cartoons to the BBC and Mourning the Death of Sketch Comedy

32:51 – Johnny Vegas Texts Paul About a Whiskey Galore Remake and a Sketch Called Heroin Galore

33:39 – Why Broadcasters Will Fund Any Drama But Basically No Sketch Show

34:44 – A Fake Telethon Called Charity Innovatathon Featuring Trevor McDonald and a Liz Truss Coin Collection

37:40 – Theme of the Week: Bats, With Actual Expert Joe Nunes-Mino

39:04 – What Is a Bat, Actually? 1,500 Species and Counting

39:43 – The UK Has 18 Bat Species, One of Which Is Just Three Individuals Who Might Not Even Live Here

40:32 – Dracula Jokes, and a Firm Reminder That Spiders Are Not Insects

42:18 – Bat Sex Explained: Stored Sperm All Winter, Then an October Decision

43:08 – Maternity Roosts Operate a Strict No-Males Policy

44:02 – Horseshoe Bats Give Birth Upside Down and Catch the Baby Themselves

44:40 – Bats Apparently Need Flying Lessons Too, Courtesy of the UK's Bat Carer Network

45:51 – Myth Busted: Bats Can See Perfectly Well and Echolocation Is Just Expensive Shouting

47:54 – No, Bats Do Not Make Good Pets, Cue the Inevitable Vampire Bat Questions

48:19 – Vampire Bats Snack on Cattle Hooves and, Apparently, Sea Lions

49:14 – Some Bats Live to 41, Which Is Longer Than Most Marriages on This Podcast

50:24 – All UK Bats Are Protected By Law, So Please Stop Trying to Eat Them

52:14 – The National Bat Helpline 54:48 – Gary's Joke Corner

57:00 – Butterfly in Blue Jeans

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