Scorpion Tales

This week, Kevin has lost his voice, so in his place we welcome a very special honk-based replacement guest who may or may not be an actual honk-girl (spoiler: it's Amelia Marino, Doughboys associate producer, professional poop-reviewer, and reluctant TikTok comment-section warlord). We cover the essentials: why air conditioner repairmen are secretly all undercover conservatives who gaslight you about humidity, the deep lore of curly hair maintenance, and a heartfelt tribute to Mr. Biao, the TikTok legend who dries wet things and wets dry things for reasons no one can fully explain. We also get a rare and vulnerable look behind the curtain of Amelia's ongoing identity crisis: she's tired of being known for her poop-adjacent humor and wants a full image rebrand. So we workshop options like Amelia Bedelia, Ameals on Wheels, and Salvation Armelia, none of which fully escape the poop of it all. Along the way: a surprisingly deep dive into the emotional economics of being a Doughboys PA, a mutual confession of unclockable improv-anxiety, a very good "Scorpion Tales" podcast pitch involving Amelia's dad, and a rousing round of "What's Kevin's Deal" that gets solved almost immediately, threatening the very structure of the segment itself. Also: bug reviews, marine biology dreams, thrifted Brooks Brothers sweater vests, and a passionate defense of humidity as a personality trait. This week's focus is mental health, chronic illness, honking, and the eternal question of whether you can ever truly rebrand away from diarrhea-heavy content. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices