Love first, skills second: a roadmap for parents (with Tony Attwood)

In this episode of The Beautiful Reality of Autism, Guy is joined by Tony Attwood, a clinical psychologist with 50 years’ experience supporting autistic children and their families. Together, they unpack five pieces of advice that can change the feel of day-to-day parenting: consistent love (and understanding autistic love languages like proximity), supporting emotion regulation and anxiety, building independence through small steps, becoming your child’s “social mentor”, and learning to advocate as a translator between autistic and non-autistic worlds.

Along the way they explore the double empathy problem, why bullying targets difference, and how peer support inside schools can be one of the strongest protective factors. You will also hear practical tools you can try at home, including backward chaining, social stories, and a simple “GPS” approach for staying calm during meltdowns.

What you will learn

• What “autistic love languages” can look like (and why proximity matters)
• The double empathy problem, and why misunderstanding works both ways
• How to model calm problem-solving so children can borrow your strategies
• Building independence with backward chaining and social stories
• A parent’s role as social mentor, advocate, and translator between cultures

Tony Attwood and Michelle Garnett’ website: www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com

Tony Attwood’s book: From Like to Love for Young People with Asperger's Syndrome

This episode is shared for information and support. It is not medical advice. If you are worried about your child’s wellbeing, contact your GP or relevant professional support.

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Music: My Starwing by Nathaniel Weilein

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About Transforming Autism:

Transforming Autism is a UK charity focused on early autism support for children aged 0–12 and their families, with a strong emphasis on the earliest years (0-4). We help parents reconnect with their autistic child through strong trust-based relationships and create environments where children and the whole family can flourish. To learn more or access support, visit transformingautism.org.

To enable us to help more families, please consider a donation.

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