When To Get Off the Apps (And When to Go Back On)

When To Get Off the Apps (And When to Go Back On)

Apps are a huge part of modern gay life. We delete them, reinstall them, swear them off, go back on, and keep trying to figure out whether they’re helping us connect or quietly getting in the way.

In this episode, we’re talking about app seasonality: that on-again, off-again relationship many gay men have with the apps, and the skill of knowing when they’re serving you, when they’re draining you, when to use them…and when to lose them.

We’re getting into:

  • Why apps can be the right choice in one season and the wrong choice in another
  • How to know when it’s time for a break or hiatus
  • When getting back on the apps can actually be the healthy choice
  • The difference between using apps intentionally vs. compulsively
  • How the apps can reveal your patterns around rejection, desire, sex, dating, and self-worth

Whether you’re on the apps, off the apps, or currently “just checking who’s nearby,” this conversation will help you bring more honesty, agency, and self-trust to the way you use them.

Today's Hosts:

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Chapters
  • (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: Grindr On-Off-Again
  • (00:01:31) - Apps' On-Again, Off-Again Cycle
  • (00:02:14) - Matt on Why He Joined Grindr
  • (00:06:03) - Michael Jackson on 'Both'
  • (00:06:14) - On The Difference Between Grindr and Hinge
  • (00:08:28) - Gay Dating: Compulsivity vs Intentionality
  • (00:11:37) - Scruff's 'What's Behind the Paywall'
  • (00:13:10) - When It's Time To Take a Break From Grindr
  • (00:16:59) - Marriage on Grindr When You're Traveling
  • (00:19:23) - Gay Men on Dating Apps
  • (00:22:48) - Both Apps and No Apps
  • (00:23:17) - "No Response Is a Response" on Grindr, Hinge
  • (00:26:45) - When Do You Know You're Ready to Go Back On?
  • (00:28:15) - What Are You Looking To Experience With Your Gay Guy?
  • (00:32:16) - What is Your Ideal Pace of Connection?
  • (00:34:07) - Amino and Matt on Gay Men's Brotherhood

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