Forced Adoption: “I Became a Chameleon” – Elaine McKenna’s Story

In 1967, 21-year-old Elaine McKenna entered the Presbyterian Sisterhood home in North Fitzroy, pregnant with twins and believing she would stay there only until the babies' father returned. Instead, she spent six months largely isolated, subjected to shame and pressure to surrender her sons for adoption.

After giving birth, Elaine tried to revoke the adoption, but says she was told she was selfish for wanting her babies back. One of her sons died at five months old. She would not meet her surviving son again until he was 27.

For decades, Elaine buried what had happened. She describes becoming a “chameleon”, constantly adapting herself to keep others happy and avoid being abandoned again. It was only much later in life, through counselling, that she began to understand how profoundly the experience had shaped her identity, relationships and emotional wellbeing.

Now approaching 80, Elaine is telling her story because she wants other mothers who have carried shame and grief in silence to know they have nothing to be ashamed of - and because she believes the experiences of the babies separated from their mothers must also be heard.

This is Elaine's story of loss, survival, reunion and, almost 60 years later, finally feeling heard.

Keywords

adoption, maternal trauma, forced adoption, healing, mental health, personal story, Australia, mother’s journey, trauma recovery, adoption laws

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Elaine McKenna’s story

02:05 Elaine’s life before pregnancy and the discovery of her pregnancy

04:02 The shock and trauma of her six months in the sisterhood home

07:03 The birth of her twins and the hospital experience

10:05 The aftermath of giving up her babies and the emotional impact

15:02 Reconnecting with her son Brendan after 27 years

19:53 The legal battle and the fight for justice

25:09 The ongoing effects of trauma and the importance of being heard

29:58 Reflections on societal attitudes and the need for change

40:05 Advice for mothers who have experienced loss to adoption

43:01 Closing thoughts and the importance of sharing stories

This episode discusses adult themes and listener discretion is advised. For more information go to ⁠⁠⁠http://www.jigsawqueensland.com/podcast⁠⁠⁠

To be considered for interview on the podcast, fill in the prospective guest form you'll find on the podcast page of the website.

Your host is Dr Jo-Ann Sparrow - President of Jigsaw Queensland (⁠⁠⁠www.jigsawqueensland.com⁠⁠⁠)

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If you are looking for support and reside in Queensland, Australia, you can reach Jigsaw Queensland's Forced Adoption Support Service on toll-free 1800 21 03 13, or you can call Jigsaw on 07 3358 6666. If you live in another state of Australia, you can still call the Forced Adoption Support Service in the state that you're calling from. In every other state of Australia, Relationships Australia operates this service.

A big thank you to Matt Sparrow for composing and recording our original theme music.

We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we work and the many lands that our clients now live on and we wish to acknowledge and show our respects to Elders past and present for their continuing connection to culture and the contributions they make to community. We acknowledge how much we have to learn from them and their unique understanding of connection and adoption and their recognition that at the base of every change is truth telling and healing.