Carrot Top REALLY Didn't Want To Present Our "Best Podcast" Award - Beardo and Weirdo Ep. 87

Chris Kael of Five Finger Death Punch and comedian Craig Gass react to the Carrot Top Self Harm Story, share their own battles with addiction and depression, and accept their Best Podcast award from Vegas Rocks magazine — all on the same night. The episode moves from dark humor about their friend Scott Thompson to raw, unscripted confessions about what it feels like when nothing can reach a person spiraling toward rock bottom.

Chris reveals two self harm attempts within 30 days during his time in Five Finger Death Punch, describing how waking up after a failed attempt became the moment of clarity that pushed him into recovery. Criag shares his own experience with cocaine-fueled depression, recognizing the chemical crash as a warning sign before it was too late. Both hosts stress that the people most likely to follow through are the ones who never tell anyone — and that letting friends know they are loved is the only preventive measure that matters.

The conversation shifts from the heavy to the absurd when Criag recounts being Jedi-mind-tricked by Henry Rollins using the exact same technique Criag invented for dismissing drunk fans backstage. Billy Sheehan, Steve Vai, and Michael Anthony all appear at the Vegas Rocks award ceremony, where Sheehan — the man who once handed Kael the Revolver Golden Gods Best Bass Player award — greets him with a casual "nice to meet you." Kael turns the sting into a lesson about how celebrities protect themselves from awkward fan interactions.

The final act covers Criag attending Iron Maiden in a stadium with Megadeth and Anthrax opening, leading to a side-by-side comparison of Janick Gers prancing onstage and Billy Squier's career-ending music video — same dance moves, wildly different outcomes. Kael then previews the Yell With Kael singalong segment that has taken over Five Finger Death Punch's live shows, crediting his standup comedy work with the confidence to step out front as a solo performer.

Beardo and Weirdo won Best Podcast at the Vegas Rocks Awards after just 18 months, and this episode proves exactly why — no other show pivots from Carrot Top jokes to genuine mental health advocacy without missing a beat.