72 | Jealous That Heaven's Your Home | James Shove

In this heartfelt episode, Ashley welcomes James Shove to share the story behind his powerful song, Jealous That Heaven's Your Home. James' wife, Emily, was previously on our podcast on Episode 61, but in this conversation, James offers a unique perspective as a grieving father navigating the loss of their son, Phoenix.

Together, Ashley and James discuss the excitement of expecting a baby, the heartbreak of miscarriage, and the often-overlooked grief experienced by fathers. James vulnerably shares his struggles with depression, anxiety, emotional expression, and how poetry, music, and prayer became a pathway for processing his grief. Through the writing of this song, he wrestled with questions about Heaven, longing for his son, and the hope found in Christ's promises.

This episode is an honest conversation about pain, healing, fatherhood, and eternity. It reminds grieving parents that while loss leaves an ache that remains, we can hold onto the hope that our children are safe with Jesus and that Heaven is ultimately our Hhome too.

In this episode, we discussed:

• James and Emily's journey of expecting their son Phoenix and the heartbreak of miscarriage
• The unique grief fathers experience and the pressure many dads feel to stay strong during loss
• Allowing yourself to feel grief while also supporting your spouse through suffering
• James's personal struggles with depression, anxiety, and expressing difficult emotions
• Wrestling with the biblical question of whether babies are in Heaven and finding hope in Scripture
• The inspiration behind the song Jealous That Heaven's Your Home
• How songwriting became one of the most healing experiences in James's grief journey
• Why James hopes the song serves as a stepping stone toward healing for grieving families
• James's experience attending Wave of Light and how remembrance events can help grieving parents process loss
• Holding both sorrow and hope at the same time as we wait for eternity with our children

If you have ever wrestled with questions about Heaven, struggled to express your grief, or felt the ache of missing your child while longing for eternity, this episode will resonate deeply. Through James's story and song, listeners are reminded that grief and hope can coexist—and that because of Jesus, our separation from our children is temporary, our hope is secure, and Heaven truly is our Home.

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