A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(900)

Thupten Jinpa

Thupten Jinpa

Thupten Jinpa may be best known for being the Dalai Lama's longtime English-language translator. But now Jinpa is working to get his own message across. In his new book, "A Fearless Heart," Jinpa touches on the course in compassion training he helped create at Stanford University -- one that has been shown to make people happier, healthier and better able to regulate their emotions.

4 Touko 201659min

Lama Tsomo

Lama Tsomo

Lama Tsomo is one of the first American women to be ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist lama, or spiritual teacher. Born Linda Pritzker, she is part of the family that built the Hyatt hotel chain. But Lama Tsomo embarked on a very different path, diving deeply into Buddhism, spending months on retreat, learning Tibetan and teaching around the world. She sat down with Dan Harris to talk about her story and to detail some of these Tibetan practices.

27 Huhti 20161h 1min

Leigh Brasington

Leigh Brasington

Leigh Brasington has been practicing meditation for decades and is one of the most prominent American teachers of Jhana meditation. The Jhanas are a set of altered states of consciousness associated with profound amounts of bliss, happiness and ecstasy. Entering Jhana is done through meditating with intense concentration and it's considered a controversial topic by many in the Buddhist world. But can regular people access the Jhanas? And are they even real?

22 Huhti 201655min

Margot Bingham

Margot Bingham

Actress and singer-songwriter Margot Bingham has moved from playing the role of jazz singer Daughter Maitland in HBO's "Boardwalk Empire" to a highly-respected detective in ABC's "The Family," but in working through these complex roles, Bingham said she finds comfort through practicing meditation. Bingham sat down with Dan Harris and talked about her career, how she dealt with the heaviness of her "Boardwalk Empire" role and how she found meditation.

20 Huhti 201648min

Sharon Salzberg

Sharon Salzberg

A towering figure in the meditation world, Sharon Salzberg is part of a small group of people who helped bring meditation over from Asia to the United States. Growing up in New York City, Salzberg had a traumatic childhood and was a sophomore in college when an Asian philosophy class she chose sort of on a whim led her to find a personal and positive connection with Buddhist teachings and practices. Today, she is a meditation teacher, the cofounder of Insight Meditation Society and the author of nine books, including best-sellers "Lovingkindness," "Real Happiness" and "Real Happiness at Work." Salzberg sat down with Dan Harris to talk about her personal history, her meditation practice and her advice to beginners looking to start practicing.

13 Huhti 201655min

George Mumford

George Mumford

George Mumford has taught mindfulness and meditation to some of the greatest athletes of all time: Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal, among others. In partnership with the legendary coach Phil Jackson, Mumford taught meditation to the Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers, and now works with the New York Knicks. He’s also the author of "The Mindful Athlete: The Secret to Pure Performance."

6 Huhti 20161h 17min

David Gelles

David Gelles

The author of "Mindful Work," New York Times reporter David Gelles is a self-described "sporadic meditator." During the day, Gelles says he uses so-called "meditation hacks," such as waiting a beat or two before picking up a ringing phone or practicing walking meditation around the office at work. Earlier this month, he wrote an op-ed for the New York Times Sunday Review called "The Hidden Price of Mindfulness, Inc.," in which he talked about the "mindfulness economy" and the hundreds of products out there, from books to apps to a dairy-free mayonnaise substitute called Mindful Mayo, all carrying a "mindfulness" label.

30 Maalis 201654min

Amy Cuddy

Amy Cuddy

Amy Cuddy has created a bonafide sensation in the world of happiness and well-being. A social psychologist at Harvard Business School and a New York Times best-selling author, Cuddy gave a TED Talk that has been viewed millions of times about how to make yourself look, feel and act more powerful, through something she calls "power poses."

27 Maalis 201655min

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