A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(900)

A Surprisingly Effective Way to Deal With Your Inner Critic

A Surprisingly Effective Way to Deal With Your Inner Critic

We’re bringing you some of our favorite gems from the archives, as chosen by our staff. This week, we’re hearing from therapist Dick Schwartz, as chosen by Mani Chandy from our Substack team. Schwartz is the founder of Internal Family Systems, a way of looking at all of the various “parts” that we have inside ourselves, and how they can work together or make things harder for us.  Full Episodes: How to Handle Your Demons | Richard SchwartzHow (and Why) To Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

8 Elo 28min

How To Handle Dilemmas, Drift, Indecision, and Difficult People | Gretchen Rubin

How To Handle Dilemmas, Drift, Indecision, and Difficult People | Gretchen Rubin

An avalanche of practical advice and brief (but powerful) life lessons.   Gretchen Rubin is a New York Times bestselling author and happiness expert who explores human nature and habits. She’s a highly acclaimed writer, host of the podcast  Happier with Gretchen Rubin and the founder of the award-winning Happier app.    In this episode we talk about: What aphorisms are, and why they’re useful  How to make decisions that lead to a “bigger life" Why you should pay special attention to anything you lie about or hide  The argument against task-sharing  The dangers of being indecisive  Why offering emotional validation can often be more powerful than offering solutions Why you should pay close attention when people repeat themselves over and over And much more Related Episodes: The Happiness Project: Revisited  How To Use Your Five Senses To Reduce Anxiety, Increase Creativity, and Improve Your Relationships  Small Ways to Improve Your Everyday Life Right Now  Outer Order, Inner Calm  'The Four Tendencies'  Gretchen Rubin (Our Long-Lost Pilot Episode)   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Gretchen’s books The “Five Things Making Me Happy” Newsletter Gretchen on Substack: Secrets of Adulthood   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here.   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

6 Elo 1h 4min

Why You Say Yes When You Shouldn’t — And How To Say No When It Matters Most | Dr. Sunita Sah

Why You Say Yes When You Shouldn’t — And How To Say No When It Matters Most | Dr. Sunita Sah

A conversation with a Cornell professor who is attempting to rebrand the concept of defiance. Dr. Sunita Sah started her career as a physician but then switched over to organizational psychology. At Cornell, she conducts research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. She is the author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. In this episode we talk about: How Dr. Sah defines defiance  The costs of compliance  The five stages of defiance How to make defiance a practice The upside of tension  The importance of knowing your values — how to articulate them, and how this relates to our biology, specifically our hormones  The gender components of defiance  Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel  To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Sponsors: Smalls: For a limited time only, get 60% off your first order PLUS free shipping when you head to Smalls.com/HAPPIER.  Function Health: Learn more and join using our link. The first 1,000 get a $100 credit toward their membership. Visit www.functionhealth.com/HAPPIER or use gift code HAPPIER 100 at sign-up to own your health.

4 Elo 1h 10min

Are You Overcomplicating Your Life? | Kaira Jewel Lingo

Are You Overcomplicating Your Life? | Kaira Jewel Lingo

We’re in the midst of an exciting evolution of the overall 10% Happier project. In our quest to make this podcast more actionable – to help you operationalize all the game-changing ideas you encounter on this pod – we’re now offering guided meditations to accompany each full episode of the show, available to paid subscribers at DanHarris.com. For the month of August, those meditations will come from Kaira Jewel Lingo, a Buddhist teacher who spent 15 years as a monastic in the Plum Village tradition. In this bonus episode, you’ll hear our head of content, DJ Cashmere, in conversation with Kaira Jewel, sharing some of her fascinating backstory. From a communal Christian community in Chicago, to a Zen monastery in the south of France, to making her life as an independent teacher in New York, you’ll hear how the thread of “voluntary simplicity” runs through all of it.  Related Episodes: How To Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo A Buddhist Recipe for Handling Turmoil | Kaira Jewel Lingo Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

3 Elo 26min

How To Find Joy In an Anxious World | Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner

How To Find Joy In an Anxious World | Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner

A conversation with singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles and psychologist Dacher Keltner, recorded at the New York Times Well Festival, moderated by Dan. All three of them have dealt with anxiety and continue to work with it, and they discuss the ways they look for joy and sustainable wellness.  Related Episodes: Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art The Evolutionary Case for Kindness | Dacher Keltner This Scientist Says One Emotion May Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more at eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-2025.   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

1 Elo 33min

Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Reclaim your power from the news, booze, shopping, or denial. Ayya Anandabodhi is the spiritual director of Pārāyana Vihāra, a monastic residence in Port Townsend, WA. She was raised in Wales, in the UK, and first encountered Buddhism in her early teens and began training as a nun at age 24. You can listen to some of her Dharma talks, here.    In this episode we talk about: What centering means – and how to do it in the midst of chaos or calamity (Including some very practical tips) The difference between centering vs equanimity  How to break out of old patterns  The power of pausing How anger is justified, but it doesn’t help A quick but deep dive into the Four Noble truths, a foundational Buddhist list We tackle the tricky topic of “true nature” We talk about the vital role of that treacly and often misunderstood term, compassion   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

30 Heinä 1h 5min

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You | Bruce Hood

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You | Bruce Hood

A happiness expert explains how to alter your ego, reduce self-consciousness, and boost “okayness”.    Bruce Hood has been a Professor of Developmental Psychology in Society at Bristol University since 1999, and for the past 5 years he has been concentrating on how to make students happier. He undertook his Ph.D. in neuroscience at Cambridge followed by appointments at University College London, MIT and a faculty professorship at Harvard.    In this episode we talk about: How to define happiness How to be happy in the midst of a shitshow How to shift from being egocentric (self-focused) to allocentric (interconnected)  The impacts of social isolation (and how to avoid it) The challenge of optimism (and how to overcome it) Finding a “flow state” through meditation  How to enhance your social connections Where “true, authentic happiness” comes from Controlling attention and rejecting negative comparisons  The role of nature And much more Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  The Science of Happiness: Seven Lessons for Living Well   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris.

28 Heinä 1h 7min

Mayim Bialik on: Anxiety, Imagination, Manifestation, Faith, and the Best Time of Day to Meditate

Mayim Bialik on: Anxiety, Imagination, Manifestation, Faith, and the Best Time of Day to Meditate

Dan welcomed his friend, the actor, neuroscientist and podcaster Mayim Bialik, and her co-host Jonathan Cohen to Substack with a live conversation. They talked about anxiety – one of many things they have in common – along with faith, imagination, manifestation (not in the way you might think), and what’s the best time of day to meditate. Find Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown wherever you get your podcasts, and they’re also on Substack.    Related Episodes: Mayim Bialik On: Anxiety, Anger, Believing in Both Neuroscience and God, and the Pressures of Being a Teen TV Star   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

27 Heinä 50min

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