A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(910)

All Your Sleep Questions, Answered | Dr. Matthew Walker

All Your Sleep Questions, Answered | Dr. Matthew Walker

Dr. Matthew Walker is a sleep scientist with a PhD in neurophysiology. His research investigates the impact of sleep on human health and diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and cancer. In this episode, Dr. Walker shares significant findings on what happens to us when we do not get enough sleep. He also offers practical tips on how we can get more, quality sleep and how meditation can help. Join the New Year's Meditation Challenge: https://10percenthappier.app.link/IpETZ7CAX1 Plug Zone-- Book: Why We Sleep, https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501144316 Website: https://www.sleepdiplomat.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/sleepdiplomat?lang=en Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

8 Tammi 20202h 36min

The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole

The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole

Award-winning registered dietitian Evelyn Tribole inspires people to rethink their relationship with food and enjoy eating. In today's diet culture, people have stopped trusting their bodies and are ignoring its cues. In her nutrition counseling practice, Evelyn helps people tune in to what their bodies are trying to tell them through awareness and intuitive eating. In this episode, Evelyn describes how her meditation practice has deepened her passion for her career. She further explains the ten principles detailed in her new book, "Intuitive Eating," about rejecting the diet mentality and making peace with all food. Join the New Years Meditation Challenge: https://10percenthappier.app.link/IpETZ7CAX1 Plugzone: Website: https://www.evelyntribole.com/ New Book: https://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-4th-Anti-Diet-Revolutionary/dp/1250255198/ Work book: https://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-Workbook-Principles-Relationship/dp/1626256225/ Books: https://www.evelyntribole.com/evelyns-books/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelyntribole/ Mentioned on the show: - Crazy Wisdom - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/209-kryptonite-for-inner-critic-self-compassion-series/id1087147821?i=1000453700663 Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4

1 Tammi 20201h 36min

Making and Breaking Habits, Sanely | Kelly McGonigal

Making and Breaking Habits, Sanely | Kelly McGonigal

For as long as she can remember, Kelly McGonigal has felt motivated to understand the causes of pain and suffering and find ways to relieve them. This motivation led her to pursue a career in psychology and cultivate a meditation practice. In this episode Kelly talks about the types of meditation that have the biggest impact for her and how she integrates them into her daily life. She also discusses her new book, "The Joy of Movement," which she hopes will help change the negative perceptions some have about exercise. Calling her book a love letter to movement and human nature, she believes movement can help us access the positive states of bliss, joy, hope, and connection. She also offers practical tips for building healthy habits. Check out the new Ten Percent Happier course on healthy habits with Kelly McGonigal: http://www.tenpercent.com/habits (App: https://10percenthappier.app.link/gAd07mXoo2) Plugzone: - Website: http://kellymcgonigal.com/ - "The Joy of Movement": https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Movement-exercise-happiness-connection-ebook/dp/B07Q4LY2CV - Previous Books: http://kellymcgonigal.com/books - TED Talk: How to make stress your friend https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellymariemcgonigal/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kellymcgonigalauthor/ Books mentioned: "Fearless Heart": https://www.amazon.com/Fearless-Heart-Courage-Compassionate-Transform/dp/1101982926 Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

26 Joulu 20191h 21min

The Profound Upsides of Mortality | Nikki Mirghafori, PhD

The Profound Upsides of Mortality | Nikki Mirghafori, PhD

Nikki Mirghafori has been an Artificial Intelligence scientist for nearly three decades. She never intended to become a Buddhist teacher, but after establishing herself in her AI career, she devoted her time to extensive meditation training. She now teaches Dharma internationally. In this fascinating discussion, Nikki details her extraordinary life experiences. From growing up in Iran during the Iran-Iraq War, to writing a thank you letter to a tick that gave her Lyme disease. She talks about her meditation practice today and how it has evolved from when she first started. And she dives into the process and benefits of one of her more challenging teachings, the Mindfulness of Death. Plugzone: Nikki's Website: https://www.nikkimirghafori.com/ The Most Venerable Pa-Auk Tawya Sayadaw Bhaddanta Acinna: https://www.paaukforestmonastery.org/about-us Podcast Episode #10 Leigh Brasington: https://podcasts.apple.com/my/podcast/10-leigh-brasington/id1087147821?i=1000367352158 Ten Percent Happier Gift: https://www.tenpercent.com/gift Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

18 Joulu 20191h 37min

The World's a Mess, But Don't Freak Out | Norman Fischer

The World's a Mess, But Don't Freak Out | Norman Fischer

Norman Fischer is a poet, writer, and Zen priest who has dedicated his life to studying, practicing and teaching Zen Buddhism. After graduating from the Iowa Writers' Workshop, he moved to San Francisco to learn how to practice meditation in the Soto Zen tradition. He spent decades studying the practice and serving the temple at the San Francisco Zen Center, where he went on to serve as the co-abbot from 1995-2000. After retiring as co-abbot, he founded the Everyday Zen Foundation where he continues to offer teachings and lead retreats. In this episode, Norman discusses with Dan the importance of expanding the way we think about ourselves and the world we live in because, he says, we are drowning in the limitations we've collectively set for ourselves and the ways we live in the world. The theme of the reflections in this episode come from Norman's new book titled "The World Could Be Otherwise." Plugzone: Website: https://www.normanfischer.org/ Everyday Zen Foundation: http://www.everydayzen.org/ The World Could Be Otherwise: Imagination and the Bodhisattva Path: https://www.amazon.com/World-Could-Otherwise-Imagination-Bodhisattva/dp/161180504X Other books mentioned in this conversation: The Order of Time by Carlo Rovelli: https://www.amazon.com/Order-Time-Carlo-Rovelli/dp/073521610X Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

11 Joulu 20191h 9min

How to Thrive Under Stress | Elizabeth Stanley, PhD

How to Thrive Under Stress | Elizabeth Stanley, PhD

Elizabeth Stanley has a long history of stress and trauma. In this episode she talks about the adversities she has suffered, which include a near death experience and losing her eyesight for extended periods of time from contracting Lyme disease while serving in the military. After decades of "powering through" and not dealing with her difficult emotions, she reached a breaking point. That's when her healing journey began and she found meditation, sitting multiple long retreats. Stanley has since created a resilience training program, called Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training, that she has taught to military troops and to people working in high-stress situations. Her book, "Widen the Window," offers tools on thriving during stress and recovering from trauma. Plugzone: Website: https://elizabeth-stanley.com/ "Widen the Window": https://www.amazon.com/Widen-Window-Training-Thrive-Recover/dp/0735216592 Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

4 Joulu 20191h 16min

What's Your Motivation? Thubten Chodron

What's Your Motivation? Thubten Chodron

Thubten Chodron was born in Chicago and grew up near Los Angeles. She felt her life's calling was to help others, so she became a teacher, landing her first job in the inner-city schools of Los Angeles. Looking for something to do during summer break, she saw a flyer for a meditation course being taught by two Tibetan Lamas. Little did she know, taking this course would change the trajectory of her life. The teaching that resonated with her most was about setting motivations. She realized that though she was doing good things in her life, the motivations she had for doing them were self-centered. Chodron wanted to dedicate her life to living selflessly and with altruistic intentions. She felt the only way she could do that was to let go of her worldly attachments, including her marriage, and become a Buddhist nun. She believes we all have the potential to be happy and live altruistically, but we get in our own way. In this episode, Chodron offers her thoughts on how to set selfless motivations as we live our everyday lives. Plugzone: Personal Website: https://thubtenchodron.org/ Sravasti Abbey: https://sravastiabbey.org/ YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/sravastiabbey Books: The Compassionate Kitchen: Buddhist Practices for Eating with Mindfulness and Gratitude https://www.amazon.com/Compassionate-Kitchen-Practices-Mindfulness-Gratitude/dp/1611806348 Other book titles by Thubton Chodron: https://www.amazon.com/Thubten-Chodron/e/B000APM652

27 Marras 20191h 16min

The Case for Devotion, Kittisaro and Thanissara

The Case for Devotion, Kittisaro and Thanissara

Kittisaro graduated from Princeton as a Rhodes Scholar and went on to Oxford before going to Thailand to ordain with Ajahn Chah in 1976. He was a monk for 15 years. Thanissara started Buddhist practice in 1975, decided to ordain after meeting Ajahn Chah and spent 12 years as a Buddhist nun. They had known each other for years when they fell in love in 1991. They decided to leave the order so they could be together and were married the following year. They have gone on to become co-founders of Dharmagiri Sacred Mountain Retreat in South Africa and co-authors of Listening to the Heart: A Contemplative Guide to Engaged Buddhism. They are Guiding Teachers of Sacred Mountain Sangha, on the Spirit Rock Teacher Council, and are Core Teachers at Insight Meditation Society. In a wide ranging interview, they discuss their practice and how their monastic lives have prepared them for their life in a relationship. Plug Zone Website: http://sacredmountainsangha.org/ Books Listening to the Heart: A Contemplative Journey to Engaged Buddhism: https://www.amazon.com/Listening-Heart-Contemplative-Journey-Buddhism/dp/1583948392 Time to Stand Up: An Engaged Buddhist Manifesto for Our Earth -- The Buddha's Life and Message through Feminine Eyes https://www.amazon.com/Time-Stand-Up-Buddhist-Manifesto/dp/158394916X Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

20 Marras 20191h 48min

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