A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(904)

Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical

Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical

Ben Feder was the CEO of a tremendously successful company, but it was coming at great personal cost. Returning home from his worldwide business travels, he greeted his family, only to realize how disconnected he felt from them. For years he had sacrificed time with his family to focus on his work, but at this moment he decided something needed to change. He embarked on a year-long sabbatical, in a very big way. He gave up his job, pulled his kids out of school and moved his family from New York to Bali. He explains how that journey changed all of their lives. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://benfederauthor.com/ Author: Take Off Your Shoes https://benfederauthor.com/product/take-off-your-shoes Twitter: @BenFederAuthor Facebook: @BenFederAuthor

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Paula Faris, Journey of Faith

Paula Faris, Journey of Faith

You may know Paula Faris as the former co-host of ABC's The View or Dan's former co-anchor on ABC's Good Morning America weekend edition. What you don't know is why she decided to leave these TWO dream jobs, and the role that meditation and her faith played in that life-altering decision. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Check out Paula's podcast: Journeys of Faith http://abcn.ws/journeys

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Oren Jay Sofer, Practicing Mindful Communication

Oren Jay Sofer, Practicing Mindful Communication

In every conversation we have, from mundane to serious, our personal motivations drive what we say. But most of the time we are not aware of what our personal motivations are and we can end up mindlessly saying something that causes conflict with someone else. Oren Sofer has spent years studying this and has written a how-to guide to help people apply mindfulness techniques to have more meaningful conversations. He describes the importance of learning to communicate better as a "life hack" that will have a positive effect on every area of your life.

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Ruth King, Being Mindful of Race

Ruth King, Being Mindful of Race

For many years it was Ruth King's job to work with large corporations, making them aware of racial bias within their company and helping them rectify it through diversity training and leadership development programs. Over time, for a variety of reasons, she decided it was time for a change. However, just as she was about to move in a new direction, she met a woman who would introduce her to meditation, which in turn would revolutionize how she approached the challenges of her career from that point forward. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone https://ruthking.net/

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Michael Gelb, Applying Genius Thinking

Michael Gelb, Applying Genius Thinking

Michael Gelb found his calling during a tumultuous time in American history. It was during the polarized 1970s Gelb decided he wanted to look for ways to help people clearly think through and debate real issues. He found meditation to be a good starting point, which eventually led him to England, where he studied the spiritual traditions of the world and how they're interconnected. Gelb explains how he took these studies of consciousness and self-awareness and translated them into practical techniques to help people think more clearly and creatively. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://michaelgelb.com/ Twitter: @MichaelJGelb

28 Marras 20181h 13min

Amos Lee, Reaching Out Through Music

Amos Lee, Reaching Out Through Music

Musician Amos Lee started meditating in college as a way to cope with his mother's breast cancer diagnosis and his own Generalized Anxiety Disorder. For two years, he was going on retreats and meditating two hours a day. Lee knows what it's like to face personal hardships, so he views his music "as a service," a way to reach out and comfort people who may also be suffering. He talks about how working on his new album, "My New Moon," was therapeutic for him, writing about some very personal experiences. Finally, Lee performs a song he wrote after witnessing his grandmothers passing, in this touching episode. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326.

21 Marras 201854min

Matt Gutman, The Boys in the Cave

Matt Gutman, The Boys in the Cave

ABC News Senior National Correspondent Matt Gutman is, unfortunately, no stranger to tragedy, both in his career as a journalist and his personal life. He learned the practice of meditation at just 12 years old, mere months before his father would be killed in a plane crash. And now, nearly 30 years later he's reporting on how meditation played a role in the miraculous rescue of 12 boys trapped in a cave in his new book, "The Boys in the Cave: Deep Inside the Impossible Rescue in Thailand." He opens up about his own personal tragedy and gives a riveting account of that rescue in this week's conversation. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326.

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Jordan Harbinger, Networking and Relationship Development

Jordan Harbinger, Networking and Relationship Development

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