The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we’re going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, “You complete me.” But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health. Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons. This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we’ll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She’s got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

Jaksot(912)

Good Conflict | Amanda Ripley | An Episode From “On Being”

Good Conflict | Amanda Ripley | An Episode From “On Being”

Today we are dropping down our feed a conversation that I listened to recently that had a huge impact on me. It's from a great show that I'm sure many of you have heard of, On Being with Krista Tippett. It's been around for decades, and it explores the question of what it means to be human, how to do life better, how to live with each other in complex times. Krista Tippett is a recent friend of mine, somebody who I have long admired and really, like – she was on the show just recently. They've got a new season of their show going right now, over on the On Being feed, which I highly recommend you check out. They're doing episodes on the intelligence of the human body, what AI might be calling us to as human beings, and much more.  They've also got a 20 year archive of conversations with people like Mary Oliver, John O'Donohue, and Desmond Tutu, which is pretty extraordinary. And this conversation, which, as I mentioned earlier, has had a big impact on me seems unfortunately quite relevant. It's about conflict and how to do it right: the difference between healthy conflict, which is an unavoidable part of life, and high conflict, which we see all around us these days, but which is avoidable.

17 Marras 20231h 5min

Become an Active Operator of Your Nervous System | Deb Dana

Become an Active Operator of Your Nervous System | Deb Dana

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Practical tools for regulating your nervous system in stressful times.   Deb Dana is a licensed clinical social worker, clinician, and consultant who specializes in working with complex trauma. She is the author of Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. In this episode we talk about: What polyvagal theory is The case for understanding our nervous system The practical tools and exercises for changing our nervous system and learning to become more regulated The fact that our nervous systems aren’t simply isolated, self-contained phenomena – they are social structures Our responsibilities for our own nervous system and the nervous systems of others Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/deb-dana-rerun

15 Marras 202358min

A Radical Strategy for Dealing With Difficult People | Father Gregory Boyle

A Radical Strategy for Dealing With Difficult People | Father Gregory Boyle

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We deal with difficult people over holiday meals, at work, and online. This guest says there is only one answer. Father Gregory Boyle is an American Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He has received the California Peace Prize and been inducted into the California Hall of Fame. In 2014, the White House named Boyle a Champion of Change. He received the University of Notre Dame’s 2017 Laetare Medal, the oldest honor given to American Catholics. He is the author of The Whole Language, Tattoos on the Heart, and Barking to the Choir.  In this episode we talk about: How Homeboy Industries began 34 years ago Boyle’s practices for working with stress  What he means when he says you have to put death in its place Motivating people through joy rather than admonition How to catch ourselves when we’re about to demonize or be judgmental  How to set boundaries How to dole out consequences without closing the doors to anybody And, Father Boyle’s expansive and inclusive notion of God Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gregory-boyle-rerun

13 Marras 20231h 4min

Deep, Provocative Success Strategies From the “Yoda of Silicon Valley” | Jerry Colonna

Deep, Provocative Success Strategies From the “Yoda of Silicon Valley” | Jerry Colonna

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How getting your sh*t together can make you a better leader in your own personal orbit. It can maybe even change the world. Jerry Colonna is a leading executive coach who uses the skills he learned as a venture capitalist to help entrepreneurs. He is a co-founder and CEO of Reboot, the executive coaching and leadership development company, host of the Reboot Podcast, and author of Reunion: Leadership and the Longing to Belong, and Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up. In this episode we talk about: How to avoid the pitfalls of virtue signaling and self-righteousness The term, “reunion” and how it relates to the stories of our ancestors  What he means by, “the longing to belong” How we can learn to “do our first works over” The difference between equality and equity  And his framing of, "content and container" to help guide good leadership Related Episodes: Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder The Art of Growing Up, Jerry Colonna Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jerry-colonna

8 Marras 202359min

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. -- Plus, what happens if you don't repair, whether it's ever too late to repair, what "boundaries" actually are, and a helpful little tool for avoiding fights called the "MGI." Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and mom of three. She is the author of Good Inside and the host of the podcast Good Inside with Dr. Becky. Her new TED Talk is called “The single most important parenting strategy.” In this episode we talk about: How to repair damage after a fight What happens if you don’t repair Whether it’s ever too late to offer a repair Whether “good inside” is a thesis for all of humanity Whether punishment is ever appropriate Dr. Becky’s definition of “boundaries” A handy hack for avoiding fights called the “MGI” Whether or not Dr. Becky follows her own advice Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/becky-kennedy

6 Marras 20231h 10min

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

A former nun explains how to deal with doom-scrolling, despair, and rage in the face of world events. Kaira Jewel Lingo spent fifteen years as a monastic in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village tradition. She is now a lay dharma teacher and is the author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. In this episode we talk about: How to stop doom-scrolling and what to do instead Why it’s more important, not less, to take care of yourself in times of crisis How to take concrete action that reduces suffering Stories and lessons from the life of Thich Nhat Hanh From Plum Village: An open letter to President Biden, guided meditations, and other resources  Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-news

3 Marras 202342min

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The meditation style that changed Dan’s entire practice. Alexis Santos, has been practicing meditation for twenty years and was a student of a highly influential Burmese monk by the name of Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Alexis is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app and the lead teacher of our On The Go course.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/alexis-santos-rerun

3 Marras 202354min

Nirvana | Joseph Goldstein

Nirvana | Joseph Goldstein

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Nirvana is a culturally confusing and freighted term. It’s the name of the best rock band of the 1990s and also the name of smoothie joints, vape stores and yoga studios. There’s a vape place near me called Nirvana.  Nirvana’s been fully co-opted and sometimes corrupted by the culture… and yet it is also the clearly stated goal of the Buddha’s teaching. So what does it really mean? We cover all of that today in what is an experimental episode for us. Not only because the topic is so unusual, but also because this is our first podcast recording of a live show. We recorded this at the Armory in Boston in front of a sold out crowd who did not know in advance that premier teacher Joseph Goldstein would be the guest. We would love your feedback, because if you like this, we’ll do more. Joseph Goldstein is one of the top western proponents of mindfulness. He co-founded the legendary Insight Meditation Society alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. He also wrote a book called Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening. PS We’ve been trying to do a bunch of experiments here on this show, and our latest is a weekly newsletter, which you can sign up for here! Related Episodes: The Mental States That Steal Your Calm | Bhikkhu Bodhi The Words of the Buddha | Bhikkhu Bodhi Joseph Goldstein On: How Not To Try Too Hard in Meditation, Why You Shouldn't "Waste Your Suffering," and the Value Of Seeing How Ridiculous You Are Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/

1 Marras 20231h 24min

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