The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. Marissa King is a Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, where she studies social networks, social influence, and team dynamics. She is also the author of a recently-released book, called Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection. In this conversation, we talk about: how your social networks impact your mental health; how, when it comes to social networks, quality and structure are more important than quantity; why you’re not as bad at being social as you may think; the importance of humor; how status and privilege play into networking; the benefits of calling up old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; and she will ask you to consider whether you are a convener, a broker, or an expansionist. This is actually part two of a two-part series that we're running this week about the hard science and soft skills of social connection. If you missed it on Monday, we had an amazing interview with a researcher named Barbara Fredrickson from UNC Chapel Hill. She has a lot of fascinating things to say about what love actually is and takes a pretty broad view of the concept of love. You don't have to listen to that in order to understand this episode, but I think they work great in concert. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll learn the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marissa-king-342

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Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, 'The Lost Art of Good Conversation'

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, 'The Lost Art of Good Conversation'

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, the head of the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and Shambhala International, has a new book out called, "The Lost Art of Good Conversation: A Mindful Way to Connect with Others and Enrich Everyday Life" -- poignant for this time of deep divisions in the U.S. and abroad. Born in Bodhagaya, India but bought up in the West, Sakyong Mipham who talks about how conversation is powerful because it begins with recognizing that "there's another person" with you, and he says, as a married father of three, getting frustrated with your kids is just "part of the path."

29 Marras 201735min

Guided Meditation: 'A Reflection On the Important Things' by The Minimalists

Guided Meditation: 'A Reflection On the Important Things' by The Minimalists

With the holidays (and shopping season) upon us, we asked our friends The Minimalists (Ep. #32) for a short meditation to help us focus on what's truly important.

23 Marras 20174min

Bonnie St. John, Former Olympic Skier, Motivational Speaker

Bonnie St. John, Former Olympic Skier, Motivational Speaker

Author, motivational speaker and former pro-skier Bonnie St. John had her right leg amputated at age 5, but that has never slowed her down. The San Diego native made a Paralympics run in 1984 and became the first African-American to win medals in Winter Olympics competition. A Rhodes Scholar, St. John went on to serve on the White House National Economic Council and has written seven books, including one with her husband called "Micro-Resilience," which outlines five frameworks for small "life hacks" to help boost focus and energy.

22 Marras 201744min

Charles Raison & Vladimir Maletic, Tackling Depression with a Mind-Body Approach

Charles Raison & Vladimir Maletic, Tackling Depression with a Mind-Body Approach

Chuck Raison, a psychiatrist and a professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison School of Medicine and Public Health, and Vlad Maletic, a clinical professor of neuropsychiatry and behavior science at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, wrote a book together called, "The New Mind-Body Science of Depression," in which they offer research on the mind-body connection, such as looking at the immune system, as a way to tackle depression. But their conversation also delves into the Tibetan Buddhist tradition of tummo, psychedelics and "dark" retreats.

15 Marras 20171h 3min

Andrew Scheffer, The Wharton Monk

Andrew Scheffer, The Wharton Monk

Andrew Scheffer's decision to try meditation after his freshman year of college launched him on a journey where he traveled the world, spent over a year training as a Buddhist monk and worked with the famed Buddhist master, Sayadaw U Pandita, before going on to earn an MBA from the prestigious Wharton School of Business. After working in finance, Scheffer founded and leads "Mindfulness Matters," a corporate training program that applies meditation practices to leadership skills, teaching all sorts of groups from hotel workers to financial managers.

8 Marras 20171h 1min

Shiza Shahid, Malala Fund Co-Founder

Shiza Shahid, Malala Fund Co-Founder

Growing up in a post-9/11 Pakistan, Shiza Shahid had what she called an "activist childhood," where she volunteered in prisons, refugee camps and disaster relief efforts after the 2005 Kashmir earthquake. When the Taliban issued an edict banning girls from going to school, the then-Stanford University sophomore created a secret summer camp in Pakistan for girls, one of which was a 12-year-old Malala Yousafzai. When Malala was shot in 2012 by a Taliban gunman, Shahid co-founded the Malala Fund to promote Malala's story of perseverance and advocacy for girls' education.

1 Marras 201743min

Leslie Booker, Activism and the Dharma

Leslie Booker, Activism and the Dharma

Leslie Booker was working as a wardrobe stylist, dressing models for a living, and was looking for a way to transition out of the industry and her winding path -- she lives a nomadic lifestyle -- eventually brought her to becoming a meditation teacher. A Navy brat who grew up in Virginia and Japan, Booker is also an activist who was involved in the Occupy Wall Street movement and has worked with incarcerated youth, and she shared her thoughts on how the Dharma has changed the way she approaches activism.

25 Loka 201754min

Adam Levin, X Ambassadors Drummer

Adam Levin, X Ambassadors Drummer

As the X Ambassadors' fame grew, drummer Adam Levin noticed he was always waiting for something to go wrong. With more success, came more anxiety, "and that's not a fun way to live," he said. Levin talks about how the rock star life drove him to meditation, as well as how the band works together, what lead singer Sam Harris goes through to care for his voice, and why Levin thinks the band's next album is "the best work" they've "ever done."

18 Loka 201732min

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