The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. Marissa King is a Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, where she studies social networks, social influence, and team dynamics. She is also the author of a recently-released book, called Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection. In this conversation, we talk about: how your social networks impact your mental health; how, when it comes to social networks, quality and structure are more important than quantity; why you’re not as bad at being social as you may think; the importance of humor; how status and privilege play into networking; the benefits of calling up old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; and she will ask you to consider whether you are a convener, a broker, or an expansionist. This is actually part two of a two-part series that we're running this week about the hard science and soft skills of social connection. If you missed it on Monday, we had an amazing interview with a researcher named Barbara Fredrickson from UNC Chapel Hill. She has a lot of fascinating things to say about what love actually is and takes a pretty broad view of the concept of love. You don't have to listen to that in order to understand this episode, but I think they work great in concert. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll learn the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marissa-king-342

Jaksot(901)

Colin O'Brady, Pro-Endurance Athlete

Colin O'Brady, Pro-Endurance Athlete

Fewer than 50 people have accomplished the Explorer's Grand Slam, a challenge of summiting the highest peaks on each of the seven continents and completing treks to the North and South poles. Colin O'Brady not only completed the EGS this summer, he shattered the world record for it, finishing in just 139 days. O'Brady also set the world record for climbing the seven summits -- summiting Kilimanjaro in just 11.5 hours. Five years ago, a friend suggested he try mediation and recommended a 10-day silent vipassana retreat. At first O'Brady said he looked at meditation like an elite athlete, hoping to train his body and mind for peak performance, but soon discovered meditation gave him a much greater benefit for his daily life.

9 Marras 201642min

Duncan Sheik, '90s Rocker Turned Broadway Composer

Duncan Sheik, '90s Rocker Turned Broadway Composer

Duncan Sheik first made a name for himself in the mid-90s with the hit song, "Barely Breathing," and has since reinvented himself as a Broadway composer. He won two Tonys and a Grammy Award for music he composed for the smash Broadway hit, "Spring Awakening," and he also composed music for Broadway's "American Psycho." But when Sheik first started out, performing on stage made him very nervous and it wasn't until he was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism, which involves the practice of a form of mantra meditation, that he got over his fears.

2 Marras 201645min

Judge Jeremy Fogel, Using Mindfulness on the Bench

Judge Jeremy Fogel, Using Mindfulness on the Bench

About 20 years ago, Judge Jeremy Fogel was serving as a superior court judge in California. But when he felt that it was causing him a lot of stress, he started looking for a way to center himself, and found meditation and yoga. Shortly after he started practicing, he was nominated to become a federal judge and said meditation became a refuge for him. Today, Judge Fogel continues to practice regularly and touts mindfulness as a powerful tool judges can use to help with their decision-making. He is currently serving as the director of the Federal Judicial Center.

26 Loka 201649min

Sebene Selassie, A Life of Service While Fighting Breast Cancer

Sebene Selassie, A Life of Service While Fighting Breast Cancer

Sebene Selassie's career has taken her all over the world. An Ethiopian immigrant, Selassie grew up in the Washington, D.C., area. Her father left her family in the '70s to go back to Ethiopia and became a guerrilla fighter in the Eritrean independence movement. Her brother became a "Hare Krishna" devotee. Selassie, however, found meditation, and started practicing in high school. She studied Comparative Religious studies at McGill University and went on to work with not-for-profits in international development, including in refugee camps in Guinea. She was a self-professed "really bad dharma student," until she was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer at age 34. Then she says she became "a really good dharma student." Selassie has now survived breast cancer three times and works as a meditation teacher and transformational coach in New York City.

19 Loka 20161h 1min

Robin Roberts, "GMA" Anchor, Cancer Survivor (Bonus Episode!)

Robin Roberts, "GMA" Anchor, Cancer Survivor (Bonus Episode!)

"Good Morning America" co-anchor Robin Roberts has more than 30 years of experience in the radio and television business and said it was her "GMA" colleagues, George Stephanopoulos and our host Dan Harris, who first perked her interest in meditation a few years ago. Today, she says she can't remember not meditating because it's become so much a part of her daily routine. A devout Christian, Roberts also finds comfort in her faith and has overcome major health challenges, first survived breast cancer and then a battle with a blood and bone marrow disease called myelodysplastic syndrome. She's written about her experiences in her book, "Everybody's Got Something," which is also the name of her new podcast.

17 Loka 201646min

Election Stress Special (Bonus Episode!)

Election Stress Special (Bonus Episode!)

In the midst of what some are calling the ugliest election ever, millions of Americans say they're feeling more stressed, anxious and just plain exhausted from it. One therapist even coined a term for this: "election stress disorder." As a remedy, many doctors are recommending meditation. On a special edition of the "10% Happier" podcast, we present a one-of-a-kind roundtable discussion led by our host Dan Harris about best practices for handling stress during the election. Dan is joined in-studio by two meditation teachers, Sharon Salzberg and JoAnna Harper, as well as David Gelles, an author and New York Times business reporter who covers the meditation scene.

16 Loka 201649min

Jason Stirman, Ex-Twitter, Medium Exec Turned App Entrepreneur

Jason Stirman, Ex-Twitter, Medium Exec Turned App Entrepreneur

Jason Stirman went to his first meditation class when he was working at Twitter. An early employee there, he eventually quit Twitter with founder Ev Williams with the intent of starting a new company with a “mindful culture.” When they started the publishing platform Medium, Stirman said they practiced Holacracy, meaning they ran the company without management, and they held guided meditation sessions in the office three times a week, which led him to a regular meditation practice. This past spring, Stirman launched a meditation app aimed at athletes called Lucid. And this Texas native once owned an auto repair shop.

12 Loka 201646min

Eileen Fisher, Fashion Icon

Eileen Fisher, Fashion Icon

Eileen Fisher weaves mindfulness and social consciousness throughout her multimillion-dollar clothing company and in her personal life. After being in business for over 30 years, her collections are sold in 65 EILEEN FISHER shops across the country, as well as department stores, and her company backs several initiatives focused on using sustainable fabrics, human rights for garment workers and EILEEN FISHER employee health. But even with the daily stress of managing a clothing empire, Fisher still begins each day with meditation.

5 Loka 201650min

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