An American Turkey in Paris with Trixie and Katya

As the sun fades and day turns to dusk in Paris, the beautiful Champs-Élysées becomes a twinkling thoroughfare filled with the comings and goings of sharply-dressed Parisians, bustling to and fro beneath the majestic Arc de Triomphe. In a small, nameless cafe, Trixie and her family open a fourth bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape as they laugh and smile over a table filled with escargots de bourgogne, couilles de mouton, and tarte tatin. As the warmth and fellowship from this intimate Thanksgiving gathering travels through the cafe doors to the chilly street outside, the scene cuts to America: the barren hills of Hollywood bake under the Southern Californian sun; a house sits alone against a hillside littered with the detritus from citrus trees and forsaken souls. Inside, the critically-acclaimed HBO miniseries Chernobyl is on the television while a Stouffer's Meat Lovers Lasagna bakes in the chef-caliber Miele oven. A Mexican Coca-Cola sits on the coffee table as its consumer, Katya, scrolls aimlessly through videos of Turkey-Fryer fires on Tik Tok set to pop music refrains from Dua Lipa. Never in the history of the world has there been such a stark dichotomy of holiday celebrations than between Paris and Los Angeles. Alas, such is this post-modern life.

From everyone here at BALD, LLC, we wish you filthy troglodytes the happiest of Thanksgivings.

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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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