02: Stepping Stones to Self-Esteem

02: Stepping Stones to Self-Esteem

The self-esteem movement of the 1970s got one thing profoundly wrong. It treated self-esteem as a vitamin you give to yourself with affirmations in the mirror, and it told generations of parents to flood their kids with praise. Dr. Lisle argues the mechanism was never designed to be fooled that easily, and the people trying hardest to fake it are usually the ones suffering most.

In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle walks through the evolutionary architecture of self-esteem. He explains Mark Leary's sociometer research, why depression is a signaling device rather than a disease, the critical distinction between esteem and self-esteem, and his own concept of the internal audience. He lays out the three domains where humans compete for status (mating, friendship, trade), why self-esteem is domain-specific rather than global, and the exact fundamentals you can practice to raise the internal audience's regard on a daily basis.

Beat Your Genes is co-hosted by evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Dr. Nathan Gershfeld, DC.

New episodes every other week.

YouTube: youtube.com/@BeatYourGenes

beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle: esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld: fastingescape.com

X: @BeatYourGenes

Intro and outro: City of Happy Ones. Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

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Jaksot(409)

393: Can You Talk Your Way Out of the Friend Zone? (Part 2)

393: Can You Talk Your Way Out of the Friend Zone? (Part 2)

Can you talk your way out of the friend zone? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle says no, because there is nothing you said that put you there. A woman's brain runs one of the most sophisticated...

29 Syys 33min

392: The Friend Zone: What Her Brain Is Calculating

392: The Friend Zone: What Her Brain Is Calculating

Is the friend zone real, and can you get out of it? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle explains what is actually happening when a woman sees you as "just a friend," and why it has nothing to do ...

26 Syys 35min

391: Part 3 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

391: Part 3 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle wraps up the three-part series on Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life by explaining why almost no one has ever filmed a real, unscripted therapy session, why he chose to tell this bo...

10 Syys 32min

390: Part 2 -  Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

390: Part 2 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle continues the story of Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life in part two of this three-part series. He breaks down the book's central claim: that every feeling and action, from depress...

10 Syys 33min

389: Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 1 of 3

389: Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 1 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle announces his new book, Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life, more than a decade in the making. In the first of a three-part series, Dr. Lisle traces the book's twisting 12-year path:...

10 Syys 33min

388: Why Can't I Let Go When He Sends Me Mixed Messages?

388: Why Can't I Let Go When He Sends Me Mixed Messages?

A listener has spent a year chasing a high-profile CEO who disappears for weeks, resurfaces warmly, and never quite commits. She knows the math doesn't add up, so why can't she walk away? Dr. Doug Lis...

12 Elo 51min

387: The Black Sheep of a Genius Family

387: The Black Sheep of a Genius Family

She grew up in a family of surgeons, a Google computer scientist, and a NASA astrophysicist, and she became a flight attendant who wanted to be a housewife. Now her genius-level family calls her the f...

22 Heinä 33min

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

What do you say when a friend or family member recommends horse-assisted coaching, family constellations therapy, or the latest protein fix for your problems? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle ...

10 Heinä 45min

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