04: Staying with a Man Who's Not Right For You

04: Staying with a Man Who's Not Right For You

Most therapists treat the survival of a relationship as a good thing. Dr. Lisle calls that idea insane. Your Stone Age brain is running an algorithm designed to protect a pregnant woman in an environment of scarcity, and that algorithm will keep you attached to a man who isn't right for you, long past the point where every other signal is telling you to leave.

In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle unpacks the Last Man on Earth Syndrome, the Good Guy Trap, and the real reason women feel pulled to stay in mediocre relationships three to five months in. He explains why the classic "heart versus head" conflict is a myth, what cognitive dissonance actually is, the difference between pair bond strategy and casual mating strategy, and why the two-parent home argument is one of the most overstated ideas in 20th century psychology.

Key question covered: Why do women stay with men who aren't right for them, and what is the evolutionary psychology behind the pull to stay

Beat Your Genes is co-hosted by evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Dr. Nathan Gershfeld, DC.

New episodes every other week.

YouTube: youtube.com/@BeatYourGenes

beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle: esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld: fastingescape.com

X: @BeatYourGenes

Intro and outro: City of Happy Ones. Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

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Jaksot(409)

393: Can You Talk Your Way Out of the Friend Zone? (Part 2)

393: Can You Talk Your Way Out of the Friend Zone? (Part 2)

Can you talk your way out of the friend zone? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle says no, because there is nothing you said that put you there. A woman's brain runs one of the most sophisticated...

29 Syys 33min

392: The Friend Zone: What Her Brain Is Calculating

392: The Friend Zone: What Her Brain Is Calculating

Is the friend zone real, and can you get out of it? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle explains what is actually happening when a woman sees you as "just a friend," and why it has nothing to do ...

26 Syys 35min

391: Part 3 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

391: Part 3 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle wraps up the three-part series on Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life by explaining why almost no one has ever filmed a real, unscripted therapy session, why he chose to tell this bo...

10 Syys 32min

390: Part 2 -  Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

390: Part 2 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle continues the story of Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life in part two of this three-part series. He breaks down the book's central claim: that every feeling and action, from depress...

10 Syys 33min

389: Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 1 of 3

389: Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 1 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle announces his new book, Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life, more than a decade in the making. In the first of a three-part series, Dr. Lisle traces the book's twisting 12-year path:...

10 Syys 33min

388: Why Can't I Let Go When He Sends Me Mixed Messages?

388: Why Can't I Let Go When He Sends Me Mixed Messages?

A listener has spent a year chasing a high-profile CEO who disappears for weeks, resurfaces warmly, and never quite commits. She knows the math doesn't add up, so why can't she walk away? Dr. Doug Lis...

12 Elo 51min

387: The Black Sheep of a Genius Family

387: The Black Sheep of a Genius Family

She grew up in a family of surgeons, a Google computer scientist, and a NASA astrophysicist, and she became a flight attendant who wanted to be a housewife. Now her genius-level family calls her the f...

22 Heinä 33min

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

What do you say when a friend or family member recommends horse-assisted coaching, family constellations therapy, or the latest protein fix for your problems? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle ...

10 Heinä 45min

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