262: High ambition but mediocre action, Kid blames mom for low self-esteem

262: High ambition but mediocre action, Kid blames mom for low self-esteem

In today's show, Dr. Lisle answers:

  1. My daughter was recently informed by her therapist that self esteem is created in the first five years of life. My daughter feels now that I failed her in This regard as I was the primary caregiver. Essentially she feels her unhappy life is now my fault. Why do so many therapists focus so very much on upbringing and early life experiences vs genetics?
  2. I have a highly ambitious streak but can't seem to string together any consistent action since I graduated university and settled into a job. My concern is, am I doomed to mediocrity? What use would it be for me to have these feelings of missed opportunity, boredom at work and the desire for more if I have a personality that checkmates all my efforts. Dr Howk suggested in a previous episode, without high conscientiousness it is very unlikely one will be able to create any lasting habits/ stick to the fundamentals. Is there anything I can do because as Dr Lisle says we can't change our nervous system? Am I doomed to live a life of what could have been?
  3. Dr Lisle has spoken on previous episodes regarding running an experiment in order to engage your self esteem mechanism and feel the pride that comes with doing a good job. This pride will supposedly allow you to get on a path of self improvement. I could see how this process can be effective at turning off the feelings of frustration that come with doing a mediocre job. However in a previous episode Dr lisle also mentioned that boredom is a sign that you are not learning much at work and a signal for you to use your time more productively. How then does doing an excellent job and improving your self esteem signals bear on tasks you find boring? Can doing a good job and improving your self esteem signals make these tasks that are the "right of passage" as a junior employee feel less like drudgery?

    Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

    Host: Nathan Gershfeld

    Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D.

    Podcast website: www.BeatYourGenes.org

    True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us

    Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

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Jaksot(409)

393: Can You Talk Your Way Out of the Friend Zone? (Part 2)

393: Can You Talk Your Way Out of the Friend Zone? (Part 2)

Can you talk your way out of the friend zone? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle says no, because there is nothing you said that put you there. A woman's brain runs one of the most sophisticated...

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392: The Friend Zone: What Her Brain Is Calculating

392: The Friend Zone: What Her Brain Is Calculating

Is the friend zone real, and can you get out of it? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle explains what is actually happening when a woman sees you as "just a friend," and why it has nothing to do ...

26 Syys 35min

391: Part 3 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

391: Part 3 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle wraps up the three-part series on Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life by explaining why almost no one has ever filmed a real, unscripted therapy session, why he chose to tell this bo...

10 Syys 32min

390: Part 2 -  Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

390: Part 2 - Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 2 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle continues the story of Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life in part two of this three-part series. He breaks down the book's central claim: that every feeling and action, from depress...

10 Syys 33min

389: Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 1 of 3

389: Dr. Lisle's New Book: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life Interview Part 1 of 3

Dr. Doug Lisle announces his new book, Sherlock Holmes and the Secret of Life, more than a decade in the making. In the first of a three-part series, Dr. Lisle traces the book's twisting 12-year path:...

10 Syys 33min

388: Why Can't I Let Go When He Sends Me Mixed Messages?

388: Why Can't I Let Go When He Sends Me Mixed Messages?

A listener has spent a year chasing a high-profile CEO who disappears for weeks, resurfaces warmly, and never quite commits. She knows the math doesn't add up, so why can't she walk away? Dr. Doug Lis...

12 Elo 51min

387: The Black Sheep of a Genius Family

387: The Black Sheep of a Genius Family

She grew up in a family of surgeons, a Google computer scientist, and a NASA astrophysicist, and she became a flight attendant who wanted to be a housewife. Now her genius-level family calls her the f...

22 Heinä 33min

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

What do you say when a friend or family member recommends horse-assisted coaching, family constellations therapy, or the latest protein fix for your problems? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle ...

10 Heinä 45min

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