Resisting What You Don’t Want To Feel Just Makes It Worse. Here’s A Different Strategy. | Ofosu Jones-Quartey and Cara Lai

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you’re tired of the venom, preening, and predatory listening so common on all sides of our various cultural divides, this episode is for you.  My guest today is Loretta Ross, who believes that “calling out,” which is quite common on social media these days, is adding way too much toxicity to the discourse and alienating people who might otherwise be allies. Instead, she believes in “calling in,” which steadfastly insists on a large measure of grace, and rejects the impulse to dehumanize.  On today’s show, Loretta offers a compelling mode of engagement that is insistently open-minded and large-hearted, no matter where you stand on the political divide.  Loretta describes herself as a radical Black feminist, activist, and public intellectual. She’s a visiting Associate Professor at Smith College, and she also teaches an online course called, Calling in the Calling Out Culture.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/loretta-ross-316-rerun

12 Joulu 202257min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It’s possible to actually be addicted to self-criticism, especially as a way to keep yourself safe. But evidence shows that’s not true, and today’s episode dives into strategies to deal with your own self-hatred.  This is part two of a series this week on forgiveness. In our last episode, Jack Kornfield focused on forgiving other people and in today’s episode, Tara Brach talks about forgiving yourself.  Tara Brach is a meditation teacher, psychologist and author of several books including Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion and Trusting the Gold. Her weekly podcast is downloaded 3 million times a month. Tara is also the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington.  In this episode we talk about: Why Tara says self-hatred “divides us from our ourselves” The benefits of learning the habit to stop kicking our own asses Simple meditations to help us with self-forgiveness Questions that can help us understand what really matters to us, and what we really want The power of seeing the profundity in mundane experiences  A refresher on a fan favorite meditation technique: RAIN How to start trusting reality more than we believe the beliefs about ourselves Forgiveness vs accountability Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tara-brach-534

7 Joulu 20221h 13min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. The allure of resentment, of holding a grudge or nursing your rage can be super powerful.  In today’s episode, Jack Kornfield, one of the great western meditation masters, talks about Buddhist strategies for not holding grudges and the self-interested case for forgiveness. This episode is the first of a two-part series this week on forgiveness.  In this conversation we talk about:  What forgiveness is and isn’t  Whether forgiveness is a single act or an ongoing process The cost of not forgiving A forgiveness practice you can try in your meditation Whether it’s possible to respond to the misdeeds and transgressions of others with force and love at the same time Whether there are things that are unforgivable And Jack’s contention that forgiveness involves a shift in identity Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-533

5 Joulu 20221h 4min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we’re taking a run at something that is simultaneously a contemplative cliché and also a deeply desired psychological outcome: getting out of your head and into your body. So many of us want an escape route from the spinning, looping, fishing narratives and grudges in our head and our guest today has some very practical suggestions to help us do that.  Kelly Boys is a mindfulness trainer and coach. She has helped design and deliver mindfulness and resilience programs for the UN, Google, and San Quentin State Prison. She is also the author of The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What's Right in Front of You  Today we’re going to talk specifically about a type of meditation that Kelly teaches called Yoga Nidra, which has been shown to help you sleep, improve your working memory, and decrease cravings.  In this episode we talk about: The difference between Yoga Nidra and mindfulness meditation, and how Kelly seeks to combine them The value of being able to both observe and high-five your demons  Working with our “core beliefs” about ourselves and the world The calming power of drawing your attention to the back side of your body throughout the day Working with “opposites” as a way to get unstuck in difficult moments What Kelly means by the blind spot effect Setting intentions Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kelly-boys-531

30 Marras 20221h 3min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The subject of anxiety never seems to lose its relevance. In this special episode we answer listener voicemails with one of the world’s leading experts on anxiety.  Dr. Jud Brewer is the Chief Medical Officer at Sharecare and the Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center. He is also the New York Times best-selling author of Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind and an expert in the field of habit change and the science of self-mastery.  In this episode we talk about:   The current levels of anxiety in our culture Why fear and planning can be helpful, but worrying is not The role of curiosity and kindness in short circuiting anxiety  How to differentiate between anxiety and excitement Whether we can try too hard to treat our anxiety And why as a society we are moving away from distress tolerance  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/judson-brewer-530

28 Marras 20221h 7min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We’ve all got parts of our personality or our past that we’re ashamed of. We might refer to these parts of ourselves as our demons, our baggage, or our secrets; no one is immune. So, how do you want to deal with this situation? Stay coiled in shame and denial? That only makes the demons stronger. An alternative, per my guest Koshin Paley Ellison, is to approach your stuff with “healthy embarrassment.” That allows you to work more skillfully with your baggage so that it doesn’t own you. And once you’re cooler with yourself, that can improve your relationships with other people, which is probably the most important variable for your happiness. And healthy embarrassment is just one of many extremely useful things we are going to talk about today. Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and Certified Chaplaincy Educator. He is the co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, an amazing place which, among other things, trains people to be volunteers in hospice centers. Koshin is the author of a new book called Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion, which centers on a classic Buddhist list called The Eightfold Path, the Buddha’s recipe for enlightenment or, as Koshin puts it, “the most awesome combo platter.” In this episode we talk about: What is The Eightfold Path and how it fits into another Buddhist list, The Four Noble Truths How to use the list to do life better The danger of perfectionism in putting the list to use in your life How to bridge the gap between what we say we care about and what we’re actually doing with our lives How sitting with your pain can lead to freedom The utility and pitfalls of gossip How we can look at the idea of “killing” in many different ways, including how one can “kill a moment” or “the energy in a room” How the concept of “right effort” can help us find the balance between not doing enough and overworking ourselves How being uncomfortable is a sign of real engagement with our practice And Koshin’s addition of the concept of “mystery” as another aspect of the eightfold path Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/koshin-paley-ellison-528

23 Marras 202251min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we explore the entire dread spectrum with Saleem Reshamwala, who took a deep dive on this very common, very uncomfortable emotion. What is dread, exactly? What evolutionary purpose does it serve? Most importantly, how do we deal with it? What are the antidotes? Reshamwala has worked for The New York Times, PBS, and also TED, where he hosts a podcast called Far Flung. He is also the host of More Than A Feeling, another podcast here at Ten Percent Happier. Saleem and his team recently launched something called The Dread Project - we shared their first episode kicking off the series last week. It’s a five-day series that investigates dread. Each day of the challenge, listeners tackle dread in a different way. You can sign up for The Dread Project at dreadproject.com. In this episode we talk about: Dread-management techniques, including: journaling, drawing, and welcoming your dread to the party inside your head How to face dread when it comes to climate change  And the biggest dread of all— death Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/saleem-reshamwala-527

21 Marras 202257min

This episode is for anyone who has ever had a tough or tricky moment. In other words, everyone who is currently drawing breath on planet earth right now. Today’s guests are powerhouse duo Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman. Tsoknyi Rinpoche is one of the greatest living Tibetan masters who has a whole toolbox of techniques for dealing with difficult moments, habitual patterns, and common meditation obstacles. He’ll be in conversation with Daniel Goleman, a trained scientist and science writer best known for his landmark book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Together, they have just written a book called Why We Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion.  This is the fourth and final installment of our series called, The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: The single word that Rinpoche believes captures the most challenging aspect of modern life Two of the biggest obstacles for meditators What Rinpoche calls the “drop it” practice Rinpoche’s term, “beautiful monsters” The four steps of the “handshake” practice, which is meant for meeting difficult emotions and being OK with them Why reasoning with your feelings doesn’t work How to experience a fundamental OK-ness independent of external conditions A personal story from Rinpoche about being with one of his own difficult habits What Rinpoche calls the “three speed limits” And, “belly breathing” Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tsoknyi-rinpoche-daniel-goleman-523

16 Marras 202256min