80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

Imagine hiding a secret that made you question who you are, if you did something wrong, and causing you to feel like you are not worthy. Now imagine all of this started for you when you were 3, 5, 12. It happened at an age where you were meant to trust an adult, not fear them. All of this weighing on you as you enter into middle school, high school, college, young adult life, and beyond - without anyone know the depth of your secret - that you were physically and sexaully abused. It' not an easy conversation, and that's why we're having it today.

Brian Cardoza, joins me as the two of talk about our experiences of being sexually and physically abused as young me, the toll it has taken on our lives and how we finally found the power to report and talk about it. We know there are many men out there who still struggle to find their voice in this arena so they can be heard, release their pain, and heal. That's why we're having the difficult but necessary conversation today.

About Brian

"We become a Superhero", writes adult Brian Cardoza in a letter to his 6-year-old self. "We are mighty little one. And we are brave." Brian suffered repeated sexual assault and physical abuse as a child. He left home at the age of fifteen, nearly freezing to death the first night on his own. Brian knows the trauma and despair victims must overcome to survive. He not only chose to survive, he chose to give voice to an unspeakable topic and to challenge the stigma and shame often associated with male survivors of abuse.

Now an inspirational speaker, author, and artist, Brian's message is one of responsibility and hope, and he works diligently to raise awareness and money to fight against childhood sexual assault and physical abuse. A believer in the potential to change, Brian's motto, "Don't let this moment dictate the next moment" is familiar to many he inspires.

Brian and his story are featured in a number of national and international projects including a documentary for the EU, Forced, Promise Place's documentary Ripple Effects, The BristleCone Project, and Huffington Post's HuffPost Live segment for Child Abuse Awareness Month. He has been a contributing poet for Purple Sparks and a keynote speaker for a multitude of events highlighting abuse. And he's a certified OVC TTAC Consultant and RAINN Speaker.

Brian's love for art began with drawing as a child. He experimented with different mediums from charcoal to stone sculpting. Stopping for a number of years to focus on culinary endeavors, Brian picked art back up at a time when he felt most alone. Today, Brian's art takes various forms including magnificently colored refurbished bicycles that he donates to children. He's passionate about learning new techniques and styles and the creative process continues to heal the child within.

Brian founded The Broken Knee Club, a non-profit organization created to provide a safe haven for all sexes to comfortably speak out about their experience of childhood and adult sexual assault. In collaboration with others, Brian is building Survivor Knights, a community healing through creative expression. Survivor Knights' exhibits highlight the enormity of the journey from trauma to healing through dark and bright works of art. Brian's words of encouragement to survivors, "Your darkest moments may be the light for another."

Connect With Brian

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207: Breaking the More, Better, Different Cycle For Success – Rick Clemons

207: Breaking the More, Better, Different Cycle For Success – Rick Clemons

I want more. I want to be better. I need something different in my life. Ok, cool. But do you get so obsessed about that as a gay man that you never get where you are going, or get what you are trying to achieve? Well then this podcast can guide get more, better, different with some simple tricks you can implement today. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

13 Tammi 202314min

206: Hacking Your Way To Better Sexual Health For Gay Men– Dr. Judson Brandeis

206: Hacking Your Way To Better Sexual Health For Gay Men– Dr. Judson Brandeis

Whether it is better sexual health - rock hard erections, stamina, or screwing like a porn star - most gay men want great sex but do they do what they need to do for better sexual health. The answer is "NO!" Here to guide towards better habits and practices, is Dr. Judson Brandeis, Top Urologist in the SF Bay Area, and ally to the LGBTQ community, with ways to improve your health, sex life and even the length and girth of your penis. About Dr. Brandeis Dr. Judson Brandeis is honored to have been voted Top Urologist in the SF Bay Area by SF Magazine from 2014 to 2020. In February 2019, he opened his comfortable office in San Ramon, where he focuses his practice entirely on Men’s Sexual Health and Rejuvenation. BrandeisMD is a national leader in technology and innovations in sexual medicine. Dr. Brandeis is the National Director of Clinical Excellence for GAINSWave and created and runs the SWEET Study, the largest study of Shockwave Therapy for ED ever performed. BrandeisMD was one of the first offices in California for offer PT-141, Oxytocin, and Apomorhine for erectile dysfunction. Dr. Brandeis created and directed 5 IRB-approved clinical research protocols in sexual medicine, two of which are still active. These include the SWEET Study, the largest study of shockwave therapy use in treating erectile dysfunction (active), SWAP study for Peyronie’s Disease (completed), P-LONG for penile elongation (active), LuBE for improving the intensity of orgasms (completed), and the SURGE study (completed), which tests a transdermal serum to improve penile blood flow in prostate cancer patients. Dr. Brandeis is a national sexual medicine educator who has run weekend educational seminars all around the country and has created a male sexual medicine curriculum on Teachable.com. Dr. Brandeis is the director of sexual medicine for The Aesthetic Show annual meeting in Las Vegas, as well as author of the ‘Advances in Sexual Medicine’ chapter for the Large Urology Group Practice Association textbook. A native New Yorker, Dr. Brandeis left the Empire State to attend Brown University to study History before attending Vanderbilt for Medical School. He spent a year at Harvard Medical School doing research sponsored by the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. Finally, Dr. Brandeis finished his formal medical training with 2 years of general surgery and 4 years of Urology training at the World Famous UCLA Department of Urology. Connect With Dr. Brandeis Website P-Long Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on… ...

6 Tammi 202356min

205: Declutter Your Gay Life For 2023 – RIck Clemons

205: Declutter Your Gay Life For 2023 – RIck Clemons

New Years is just two days away and while we could do, "Tips for making the most of your New Year," instead let's declutter our lives so we can have a great start for making the most of our new year. Here's a no bullcrap way of getting the junk out of your life so you can get focused on what is really important in 2023. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

30 Joulu 202216min

204: Stroke This, Not That, And Survive – RIck Clemons

204: Stroke This, Not That, And Survive – RIck Clemons

Instead of getting caught up in your gay life that doesn't please or serve you, go have a stroke. Actually don't. I speak from experience in this podcast about how to stroke other things in life to bring you happiness, rather than dealing with a stroke. Just make sure what you are stroking pays off, and I'm not talking about a money shot! Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

23 Joulu 202212min

203: Navigating Loss and Grief of a Partner- Jason Arnold

203: Navigating Loss and Grief of a Partner- Jason Arnold

Your partner has cancer, then recovers. Then you have cancer, and recover. Then your partner and pets both pass on. All of this while lovely COVID is reeking havoc on the planet. How do you thrive through this much turmoil? You trust the process and see the beauty in the challenges. Avid listener and beautiful gay man with a soulful heart, Jason Arnold, vulnerably shares his journey of loss and grief and how he is navigating is 40 Plus gay life when most of us would have just said FUCK IT! About Jason Jason is cancer survivor, PFLAG Board Member, and a gay guy trying to make the world a better place. Connect With Jason Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

16 Joulu 202245min

202: Overcoming The “Pleaser” Within – RIck Clemons

202: Overcoming The “Pleaser” Within – RIck Clemons

If I make them happy, then I will be liked. Or even better, if I do this for them then they will do something nice for me. Sound familiar? It's call being a pleaser and as gay men, we have tried to please everyone else, hiding our true self, and then when we come out, it doesn't end, until you confront the pleaser within, and fix that madness. Today we explore who to take your pleaser saboteur and put him in the right place to make you please yourself while finding the right way to please others - in a healthy way. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

9 Joulu 202214min

201: Being An Authentic Gay Man: It’s Truly Possible – Coach Maddox

201: Being An Authentic Gay Man: It’s Truly Possible – Coach Maddox

Authenticity is one of those words that can be cringe or cult worthy. For most gay men, it is something that we all struggle with as we battle the demon of "that's not what you're supposed to be." Let's end that battle and look at authenticity through the lens of how you define it, and only how you define it. Joining me on the podcast today is Coach Maddox - the authenticity activist and host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast to give you straight up insights on how to be more authentically you. About Coach Maddox Coach Maddox is a Personal Power Coach, Community Leader, Content Creator, and Host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. He has devoted a lifetime to personal growth and freely shares what has learned. With a 40 year history of providing personal services to clients as a beauty professional, he gained an incredible understanding of human behavior and effective listening and communication skills. He has now parlayed that into a thriving coaching practice, where he focuses on supporting gay men to be the most authentic version of themselves, so they can create deep and meaningful friendships with their fellow gay brothers. He is an "Authenticity Activist" and agent for powerful and positive change, and a member of the "Gay Coaches Alliance". Connect With Coach Maddox Podcast Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

2 Joulu 202244min

200: Give a shot to the heart in your online dating – Michael Kaye

200: Give a shot to the heart in your online dating – Michael Kaye

Dating. It's either fun or the bane of your existence. Whatever happened to the good old days of waving a magic wand and meeting Prince Charming. LMAO. Yeah, keep dreaming men. It's time to do the work and make those relationships happen. What better way to celebrate the 200th episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk than to have a candid conversation about Cupid's Arrow with Michael Kay, Head of Global Communications at OKCupid, where love and dating are their hearts desire. Take a listen as we explore what really can make your dating life lead you to the man of your dreams. Make sure you listen until the end where Michael offers up an exclusive offer for listeners for 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk. About Michael Michael Kaye is the Head of Global Communications at OkCupid, one of the world's largest dating apps, where he leads PR programming in the United States and for countries across Europe, the Middle East and Oceania. He was previously a Product Communications Manager at LinkedIn and before that, the Senior Global Communications Manager at OkCupid. Michael has been featured in ABC News, Ad Age, Business Insider, Bustle, CBS, CNN, Cosmopolitan, Elite Daily, Forbes, Good Morning America, The New York Times, PR News, PRWeek, VICE and The Washington Post. He’s won several industry awards, including PRSA-NY 15 Under 35 Winner 2021 and more. Connect With Michael Special Offer For OKCupid - subscriptions@okcupid.com Instagram Twitter LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

25 Marras 202244min

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