249: Tate Barkley – Moving Beyond The Chaos Of Your Past As A Gay Man

Mindfulness, meditation, self-mastery - all buzz, buzz, buzz worthy words these days. However, they are more then buzz words. They are are practices that as we ease out of the craziness of the holidays and 2024, can support all of us as gay men to embrace life through a new lens and settle into the daily chaos that can drive us crazy.  From dating and relationships, to careers and the pursuit of purpose, mindfulness as we age should be top priority, just like going to the gym. Joining me today is Dr. Theresa Skoor - Dr. T - who doles out some powerful wisdom on how age mindully with joy, happiness, and fun. During this provocative episode you learn: How to release the baggage of aging with mindfulness Learn how to simply be present, from the bedroom to the board room Why mindfulness is a pleasure activator, even when pleasuring yourself About Theresa Dr. Theresa B. Skaar, also known as Dr. T, is an educator and facilitator dedicated to empowering individuals to meet life's challenges with more curiosity, ease, and joy. With a PhD in social psychology, certification in Mind-Body Medicine, and extensive Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction facilitator training, she is uniquely qualified to help people achieve their personal and professional growth goals. Dr. T's workshops and speaking engagements cover critical topics such as managing burnout, cultivating self-awareness, navigating grief, and aging mindfully. Her expertise in evidence-based practices makes it easy for learners of all levels to understand and apply these tools in their lives. With her engaging demeanor, Dr. T brings humor, compassion, and relatable experiences to her presentations, making them informative and enjoyable. Participants leave her workshops and talks with actionable insights and tools that they can confidently apply to their daily lives. Dr. T loves to explore her creative side through watercolor and acrylic painting. She also enjoys reading, walks in nature, and knitting. She lives with her husband and their two dogs and deeply values her connections with friends and family. For Listeners of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Podcast Join Theresa for A Complimentary: Everyday Mindfulness: A Live Guided Session [video width="640" height="480" mp4="https://rickclemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/202412241359.mp4"][/video] Discover how mindfulness and meditation can bring more calm and clarity to your daily life. In this interactive one-hour session, you’ll learn practical ways mindfulness can support you, participate in a guided mindfulness practice, and have the opportunity to ask questions. Whether you're new to mindfulness or looking to deepen your practice, this live session offers a welcoming space to explore and connect. Join us and take a mindful pause for yourself! These sessions are being offered on January 22, 2025, for free at the following times: 3 pm ET | 2 pm CT | 12 PT 5 pm ET | 4 pm CT | 2 PT 7 pm ET | 6 pm CT | 4 PT 8:30 pm ET | 7:30 pm CT | 5:30 PT CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP! DON'T MISS OUT! Connect With Theresa Website Instagram LinkedIn InsightTimer Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then

27 Joulu 202436min

Let's be honest. Building a meaningful gay relationship doesn’t come with an instruction manual—or does it? I say it does. Enter The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men by Tom Bruett, the ultimate playbook for navigating love, connection, and everything in between. Whether you’re struggling with communication, intimacy, or just figuring out how to meet someone who doesn’t ghost you after date three, this guide has you covered. Bruett brings practical advice, expert insights, and a no-nonsense approach to help you create the relationship you truly deserve. Here's what's in store in this episode: Discover the top relationship myths that need busting Learn the difference between problem solving and understanding in a relationship - they are different How to get a relationship that works for you - and that's not being selfish About Tom Tom Bruett, LMFT is a therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, which provides therapy for queer folx and training for therapists who work with queer relationships. Tom has trained under Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson in the Developmental Model of Relationship Therapy, which he now trains other therapists in. His book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment will be published by Jessica Kingsley in March 2025. In his downtime, he loves theatre, travel, and collaborating with his partner to keep their rescue dog, Millie, from causing too much mischief. Connect With Tom Website Instagram Facebook Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

20 Joulu 202436min

When life hands you lemons, you go camping, even if you didn't think you liked camping. Inspired by his journey of recovering from divorce and an abusive relationship, Author Upton Rand shares how he found peace and a path forward even when his life was at it's darkest moments. In his books, Upton blends humor with heartfelt experiences as he recounts hilarious misadventures—from wrestling with uncooperative tents to witnessing drag queens having dance-offs with confused deer. Along the way, he also shares valuable insights into the LGBTQ+ camping community and promotes health, wellness, and safe outdoor experiences. In this exciting episode with Upton Rand, you’ll discover: How he overcame social anxiety and found his way back to living boldly. The powerful lesson he's learned about embracing mistakes and turning them into growth. How he developed a "step through and keep going" mentality that keeps him moving forward, no matter what. Tune in for a dose of inspiration, laughter, and practical advice to take on life with confidence! About Upton Upton Rand is an adventurer, storyteller, and the author of “Gay Campgrounds: The Ultimate Gay Camping Travel Guide.” Blending humor with heartfelt experiences, Upton’s book is part travel guide, part hilarious memoir, capturing the wild and wonderful world of gay camping. He shares misadventures that range from wrestling uncooperative tents to witnessing drag queens having dance-offs with confused deer, all while providing valuable insights into the LGBTQ+ camping community. A passionate advocate for health and wellness, Upton is committed to promoting safe and informed experiences within the community. He’s a strong supporter of PrEP and the U=U movement (Undetectable = Untransmittable), breaking down important research in an accessible and entertaining way within his book. Additionally, a portion of his book sales is donated to the Cleveland AIDS Task Force, reflecting his dedication to giving back. Whether he’s encouraging a generation to step away from dating apps and reconnect face-to-face or sharing laughter-filled anecdotes from his journeys, Upton brings warmth, humor, and inspiration to every conversation. Connect With Upton Website Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

13 Joulu 202437min

Sex, pleasure, gay men. How do we find the pathway to enhance our sex and pleasure while letting go of the shame of growing up gay? First and foremost we embrace that we deserve to be gay men and experience pleasure. Helping us unpack the journey to pleasure is Dr. Israel Martinez with his new book Enhancing Pleasure for Gay Men: A Clinical Guide for Healing and Acceptance Through Better Sex. During this provocative episode you learn: How the baggage of gay shame prevents us from being in pleasure To discern what pleasure and intimacy means to you Why your pleasure is yours to define and experience and how to share that with a man About Israel Dr. Israel Martinez (he/him), LCSW, is a certified sex therapist and coach with a group practice that specializes in therapy with the LGBTQ+, ethically non-monogamous, and kink/BDSM communities. He is the author of the books Enhancing Pleasure for Gay Men: A Clinical Guide for Healing and Acceptance Through Better Sex and Helping Gay Men Find Love: Tips for Guys on Dating and Beginning a Healthy Relationship and a chapter on therapy for LGBTQ+ relationships in Social Workers: Finding Real Solutions to Real Problems. Dr. Martinez supervises and trains other therapists to more ethically and effectively treat clients within gender, sexual, and relationship diversity (GRSD) groups. Dr. Martinez is clinically licensed in NY and NJ. He lives in NJ with his husband, Matt, and their cat, Mijo. Connect With Israel Website Instragram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

6 Joulu 202445min

It’s time to break the stigma and reframe the narrative around gay sex workers. When we realize it is  legitimate work, we create a safe space for respect, dignity, and safety for those in the industry. Today's episode with gay sex worker and legal expert - Matthew Roberts, challenges outdated taboos, promotes understanding, and showcases how he advocated for policies that protect and empower sex workers, ensuring their voices are heard and their rights are upheld. In this bold and eye-opening episode, you’ll discover: The surprising truth about the men who seek out male sex workers – and why their stories might challenge what you think. The #1 reason men turn to male sex workers – uncovering the deeper needs that drive this connection. How to become a powerful advocate for the sex work industry – standing up for respect, rights, and dignity in every conversation. About Matthew Matthew Roberts is a gay, male sex worker in Australia with over 10 years experience. He supports other sex workers to assert their legal rights and helped to decriminalise sex work in the Australian state of Victoria. He believes it's ok to pay for sex, but sex work clients require specific skills to get the most out of a commercial sexual experience. Connect With Matthew Website Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

29 Marras 202444min

Trauma has impacted us deeply—especially here in the U.S., where the 2024 election brought new waves of confusion and fear for us as gay men. How do we heal from these experiences? Where do we find the strength to move forward? In this episode, I’m joined by fellow life coach and podcaster Wil Fisher to explore how healing ourselves creates ripples of healing for others and helps us rebuild our communities, even in the midst of chaos. Here’s what you’ll take away: Practical paths to self-healing and creating spaces of comfort and resilience One powerful phrase that could shift everything for you Tools for acceptance and conscious living, helping you move forward with strength and clarity. Let’s navigate this journey together and find light on the path ahead. About Wil Wil Fisher is the host of the podcast Queerly Beloved, founder of Willfully Living, his life coach practice, and facilitator of Awakened Hearts, a retreat for GBTQ men. Wil is on a mission to empower GBTQ men to lead lives of unwavering authenticity, unbridled freedom, and boundless joy! Before moving to San Diego, Wil served as the executive director of Easton Mountain, an LGBTQ retreat center in upstate New York. Wil also spent many years in NYC where he earned his MA in Applied Theater, raised money for GBTQ nonprofits, and co-founded a company called Man Question. His podcast, Queerly Beloved, explores topics around queerness and spirituality and features interviews with some of the most renown visionaries in of the world of LGBTQ spirituality. His group retreat, Awakened Hearts, invites GBTQ men to cultivate more self-love and experience open hearted connections with like-minded men. Heart Live Retreat - Joshua Tree, CA January 23 - 25, 2025 Learn More and Register Here For The Retreat Hearts Alive is a retreat for like-minded GBTQ men to come together, away from their default worlds, to reflect on their lives, connect with their hearts, do some powerful transformational work and boldly step into a more expressed and authentic version of themselves. We’ll look at the areas of our lives where we aren’t showing up in the most aligned ways and we’ll discover strategies to shift that. Our time together will be nourishing and joyful as we playfully grow connections with each other and form loving, heart-centered community. Connect With Wil Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on… <a...

22 Marras 202442min

In life, we're all playing the role's of Master and Slave. Don't cringe. It's true! You're the master of your destiny or a slave to everyone else's expectations. You're the slave to your job, or the master of finding balance between work and life. You're the slave to your fetishes, or the master of them. Today we take a provocative dive into the culture of Master and Slave Fetishes and expose how in our own live's we play these role in every day existence. During this provocative episode with Confidence and Kink Coach Philip Poole, you'll learn: How to leverage the power exchange in aspect of your life to be more fulfilled Discover ways to embrace the truth of being in the kink space without shame Three powerful questions validating any direction you choose to take in life About Philip Phil is a Gay Confidence Coach and Kink Coach. He has worked as an international executive at leading broadcasters in the UK and startups in Berlin, Germany. Now, as a coach, podcaster, writer, and entrepreneur, empowering gay men to discover their confidence and sense of belonging. He is also an author, including a guide on building shame resilience. Connect With Philip Website Master Slave Lifestyle Website Master Slave Lifestyle Podcast Instragram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

15 Marras 202439min

To be queer is an affirming move. Yet, it takes a lot of coming to terms with our queer selves and knowing how to hold ourselves in our highest self-esteem. Whether it is about being sex positive, owning your non-monogamy, or simply affirming your way of being the LGBTQ+ space as a Christ believer, you get to determine how to be and do you as a queer person. Ann Russo joins us today to talk all aspects of queer affirming therapy, and how to be your queer self as a gay man over 40. Her professional insights as a mental health professional who specializes in sex positivity, queer issues, religious trauma are worth a listen guys. And it doesn't hurt that she was rasied by two gay men! In this provocative episode we: Explore sex positivity and how to own it your way Define what queer affirming therapy is and how to use it for personal growth Dip our toes into the ever controversial monogamy, non-monogamy aspect of being queer About Ann Ann Russo is a mental health professional, author, and advocate specializing in sex positivity, queer issues, and religious trauma. She offers training programs, consulting services, and publications to support mental health providers and improve client care. Ann’s Continuing Education (CE) Courses are in the final phase of approval by ASWB/ACE for social workers, MFTs, and APCCs. They cover topics such as ethical non-monogamy, sexual health, sexual assault, sex work, lesbian couples, PTSD healing, kink, and BDSM. She combines personal experience with professional expertise to provide accessible mental health care through her business AMR. She has done speaking engagements and has been hired to train and educate various groups on these topics, including hospitals, clergy, and other therapists. Connect With Ann Website Instragram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

8 Marras 202442min