He Blew It Side C
2 Gleeps19 Heinä 2023

He Blew It Side C

How can there be a Side C on a tape? Really? That's what you are thinking about right now? This is Colton here, and I just posted the audio that I was only supposed to post when Noah dies. I personally would think that is a little more pressing and concerning. Let me tell you my reasoning. We recorded a few episodes in advance because we were going on a road trip through the beautiful and astounding Great Plains. There the prairie lay, uniform and unvarying, spanning, unbroken, to the ends of the horizon. Staring at it, let me tell you, those flat lines almost made me flat line... Anyway, I worked diligently to make sure everything was done in a timely manner so the audience didn't have to suffer. I had just posted the most recent episode, and not even 3 hours later, Noah died. I'll be honest, it was obvious that the Multiple Sclerosis was going to be the one to kill him, I just didn't expect it to happen like it did. I don't want to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and tell you how exactly my co-host met his end. As we were nearing the end of our trip, many memorable things had happened, but it's all overshadowed by the memory of the last time I saw him. You see, towards the end, we found ourselves in Colorado. We made our way to the top of the Rocky Mountains. (The highest part where tourists are allowed to go by car.) He just wanted to get a slightly better view of the range, so he climbed over the safety guard rail. Noah didn't even go out more than 10 feet (about 3 meters), when he stepped on a loose pile of rocks. Really in most cases it would have been no big deal, but in this one instance...by complete coincidence...his leg muscles stiffened, and he wasn't able to balance himself before falling. He immediately fell back and cracked his skull on the ground. Without hesitation, I went to go help my friend. Forgoing all safety, I jumped over the rail. It wasn't too late. The damage seemed minimal. He must've been in a lot of pain, but he was still alive. After all, people have fallen from much higher and lived, and all he did was trip. I guess my point is that I'm kind of a hero or whatever. Just keep that in mind when I tell you what happened next... When I jumped the rail to help him, I tripped on his loose boot strap, and while trying to keep myself from falling...I accidentally nudged his body with my foot...sending him plummeting down the cliff. It was a really steep cliff.

So I guess the moral of the story is, "don't help people because you are only going to make things worse". Also, I reached out to Noah's twin brother, and he has agreed to host the podcast with me going forward. We talked about it and have decided that in order to avoid some sort of awkward transition period while The Orient gets used to a new host, he is just going to do the podcast in character as his brother. Don't worry, no one knows Noah better than his own twin brother, and he is extremely familiar with the podcast and our style of humor. You probably won't even notice the difference, since Noah told him everything (pretty much up to 6 minutes before the death). Noah would've wanted it this way...probably. But who really cares what Noah would've wanted, it's my podcast now...well, and his brother's I guess.

If you want to send your condolences, you can send them here. It would really mean a lot to both hosts.

2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com

If you think cassette tapes should have 3 sides, express that to me here:

tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

Jaksot(209)

The Bad Questions

The Bad Questions

This is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. For the first time ever we decide to be a little less serious than usual, and try to have a tiny bit of fun. Also, I'm kind of curious, which one would you rather have an arm that regenerates every week or legs that grow back in every week?   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

29 Maalis 202310min

We Are In Kansas, Anymore

We Are In Kansas, Anymore

I hope you are ready because this is an air freshener episode of the podcast. 3 Gleep calls immediately after the podcast starts and sets a weird tone for the rest of the episode. We explain to everyone how an episode of "To Catch A Predator" plays out, since most people probably don't remember that show. Colton was a leavening agent, but now that he's been fired he's begging the audience for money. You can send some to him at $ColtonJakobson on CashApp, an he will tell you that he is planning to donate the money. No matter who you are, please remember to always use female condoms to avoid diseases of passion.   Is there a Mathnasium near you? Send us a picture. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you near Charkbait? Send us a picture. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

24 Maalis 20231h 21min

Mock Call Me Maybe

Mock Call Me Maybe

You know we have to mention Super Heaven every few episodes, otherwise this podcast just wouldn't feel right. We have a moment of silence and do a mock call. Also, there is some trivia in this episode, so get your thinking brain on. Oh yeah, Colton also tells a cool story from when he used to actually have a job.   Would you eat a Shemin'ham if we started a restaurant with that on the menu? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you seen Ben Bailey? I'm worried about him. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

18 Maalis 20231h 37min

The Cannibal Clown Conundrum

The Cannibal Clown Conundrum

This is the last question of our epic 250 question saga. Are you a fisherperson and feel that you do not get enough proper representation? Well we are proud to say that we will always stand by you in support, and help raise awareness towards fisherpeople of all races, genders, ages, marital status, national origins, religions, disabilities, sexual orientations, medical conditions, pregnancies, heights, weights, eye colors, and shoe sizes (unless clown or larger). Also, we talk about vanilla I think.   Email us at either email. We have two emails. There is really no difference which one you use. I don't know why we have two. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

14 Maalis 202310min

American Diaper

American Diaper

This is a pretty packed episode, so I'm just going to do a quick list to rundown all of the topics that we hit in this one. The Kennedy Nickel, Oswald the Rabbid, a new dating app, and babies. Actually now that I look at the list, it seems a lot smaller than I originally thought. That's okay though, the less time you spend reading this, the more time you have to listen to the episode. Also, rest in peace Erika. We joke, but you didn't deserve what happened, and we in no way condone drunk driving.   Is your last name Sofar? You can tell us, we will keep it a secret. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you ever crashed your car into a Rabbid while drunk? You can tell us, we will chastise you forever. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

11 Maalis 20231h 32min

Barney Wiener (Deleted Scene)

Barney Wiener (Deleted Scene)

This is the actual story of how Barney Wiener and his brother Salty, took up over 30 minutes of our lives. If we have to deal with it so do you.

8 Maalis 202335min

Dishonorable Discharge

Dishonorable Discharge

This podcast is now really big into physical comedy and Vaudeville. We also talk about having the same ex-girlfriend story, how to torture someone with an Easy Bake Oven, what it's like to be a shoe-whore in Vegas, and how being dishonorably discharged can be considered a good thing. Also, if you can find/make a Wikihow on how to pull off a dishonorable discharge, make sure we are the first to see it.   Do you have an extra room near Vegas that Noah can use for a few weeks? Let him know here. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   If you are planning to be at the MSP airport anytime soon, send us an E-vite and we will come hang out. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

3 Maalis 202358min

The Pessimist’s Egg

The Pessimist’s Egg

This is the first question of our epic 250 question saga. This is a really good list, we talk about Spongebob, we really like this list, Posh Spice still hasn't accepted Colton's challenge, we will read this list forever, dentists have dentists, this list will literally never end, and one of us makes a joke.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

1 Maalis 202310min

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