You Are Not a Sh*tty Person | Carla Naumburg

You Are Not a Sh*tty Person | Carla Naumburg

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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There’s so much compelling research behind the notion of self compassion. Even though many of us think we need an internal cattle prod in order to retain our edge, research shows that people who have a supportive inner attitude — who have their own back — are more resilient and effective. Not to mention happier. And nicer.


And yet, it is easy for skeptics to be turned off by some of the language and practices of self compassion. So today we brought in a guest who puts it in plain English, and is very funny.


Carla Naumburg PhD is a clinical social worker, author, and mother. She has a lot to say about self compassion, and she does so in a way that skeptics will find appealing.


One other note about Carla. A lot of her books are directed at parents, especially parents who are self critical. But this episode is aimed at everybody. We do talk a little bit about parenting at the end, but it’s not the main focus. Just so you have it, her books have titles such as: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids and You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. It’s common for parents to think they suck. It’s also common for humans to think we suck. That we are somehow terrible people. Sit back, relax, and let Carla disabuse you of that notion.


In this episode we talk about:


  • What Carla calls “shitty human syndrome”
  • Asking ourselves, what do I need right now?
  • How, for skeptics, the data on the effectiveness of compassion practices is a powerful incentive.
  • The third arrow of denial and distraction
  • The very human problem of not knowing how to deal with our feelings.
  • Using “noticing, connection, curiosity, and kindness” as ways to get super clear about the practice of self-compassion
  • Curiosity as the antidote to judgment
  • How loving-kindness ties into the ability to treat ourselves with self-compassion.
  • Kinder self-talk
  • Practicing self-care by setting boundaries
  • Single tasking as a strategy for decreasing stress
  • And, using acronyms like SNAFU and KISS as a simple way to quickly access complicated thoughts


Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language. There is a clean version over on the TPH app and website.



Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carla-naumburg-570


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Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art (2021)

Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art (2021)

This week, we're posting some of our best podcasts from the archives on a dragon many of us face internally – anxiety. The first episode of the series features Sara Bareilles.  Sara Bareilles is a singer, songwriter, composer, and actor who earned Tony and Grammy Award nominations for her Broadway musical Waitress. She also stars in the show Girls5eva, which is back for a second season this year on Peacock. Behind all of Sara's artistic and professional successes, there is a meditator who is fearlessly open and public about her struggles with anxiety and depression. In this conversation, she talks about: her history of anxiety and depression; the relationship between suffering and art; whether meditation might defang somebody's creativity; how she works with anger; and her relationship with social media. She’ll also share some of the backstories behind some of her hit songs. Just a note: This episode is a rerun from June 2021. There are some references that might seem a little out of date, but the content remains relevant.  Content Warning: This conversation features an exploration of depression and anxiety with one very brief mention of self-harm.  We’re re-launching our ten-day meditation challenge, called the Taming Anxiety Challenge, over on the Ten Percent Happier app. To join the Challenge, just download the Ten Percent Happier app today wherever you get your apps or by visiting tenpercent.com. If you already have the app, just open it up and follow the instructions to join!   Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-bareilles-repost

24 Tammi 202253min

The Science of Depression | Sona Dimidjian

The Science of Depression | Sona Dimidjian

This episode features one of the world’s leading experts in depression and how meditation can help. Dr. Sona Dimidjian is a professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience and the director of the Renée Crown Wellness Institute at the University of Colorado, Boulder. This episode explores the seasonal impacts on depression, the research on how meditation can help depression, and what she calls “behavioral antidepressants.”   Content Warning: There are a number of references to suicide in this conversation.    Be sure to check out TPH’s newest show, Childproof, available wherever you get your podcasts.    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sona-dimidjian-413

19 Tammi 20221h 2min

 The Zen of Therapy | Mark Epstein

The Zen of Therapy | Mark Epstein

Psychiatrist Dr. Mark Epstein, discusses his new book The Zen of Therapy, in which he explores how his decades of studying and practicing Buddhism has influenced his work as a therapist.  In this episode, Dan and Mark discuss: the immense value of developing a clear and warm relationship to your own dysfunction; anger; how much people can actually change; how Buddhism has influenced Mark's practice as a psychotherapist; and Mark’s formative relationship with the legendary spiritual teacher and ex-academic Ram Dass. This interview was recorded live as part of an online benefit for New York Insight Meditation Center and Cambridge Insight Meditation Center – two great institutions, both worth checking out and supporting.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mark-epstein-412

17 Tammi 20221h 11min

Are You Willing to Challenge Your Own Tribe? | Robert Wright

Are You Willing to Challenge Your Own Tribe? | Robert Wright

Why, from an evolutionary perspective, is it so terrifying for many of us to contemplate challenging our own tribe? How comfortable would you be hopping on social media and questioning the deeply held convictions of your closest friends and colleagues? Even if you don’t want to be public about it, are there ways to have more empathy for somebody whose views are different from yours? Robert Wright believes the future of civilization hinges on our ability to get better at this.  Robert Wright is the author of the bestselling book Why Buddhism Is True. He also writes the Nonzero Newsletter, is host of The Wright Show podcast, and his newest mission is something he calls the Apocalypse Aversion Project. This episode explores: how mindfulness meditation can help us overcome our biases; how we are often manipulated by natural selection; the concepts of confirmation bias and attribution error; the pain and joy of pushing back against the conventional wisdom of your own tribe; the difference between cognitive and emotional empathy; why Robert is a big believer in talking to people with whom he disagrees; and the importance of making friendships across ideological lines.  This episode is the second in our weeklong series about bias. If you missed Monday's episode with the excellent journalist Jessica Nordell, you can listen here.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robert-wright-411

12 Tammi 202254min

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