What Everyone Who Meditates Should Know | Chenxing Han and Duncan Ryūken Williams

Kindness and empathy are loaded propositions right now. When you hear those words, you might think: Eh, those are soft skills that won’t help me get ahead. Or: If I’m too nice, I will get trampled. Or: I need my anger to be effective. Or: I am plenty nice -- it’s other people who need to up their game. My guest today will push back on all of these reservations, and tell us how -- and why -- to, as he says, “hack your empathy.” Jamil Zaki is a psychologist and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He wrote a book called, The War for Kindness. In this conversation, we talk about how our modern culture is suffering from an “empathy deficit”; why he believes selfishness is a sickness; how to avoid empathy burnout; and the academic criticism that empathy is actually an outmoded and unreliable human capacity. Where to find Jamil Zaki online: Website: https://www.warforkindness.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/zakijam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/warforkindness/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warforkindness/ Full shownotes and list of other resources mentioned: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jamil-zaki-298

9 Marras 20201h 15min

In the wee hours of election night, we consult Lama Rod Owens on uncertainty, anxiety, rage, and self-care. Join Dan and Rev. angel Kyodo williams today, Wednesday, November 4 at 3 PM for a live conversation (and guided meditation) on the Ten Percent Happier YouTube channel. https://youtu.be/INrdKfw8YrU Full shownotes for this Special Post-Election episode: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lama-rod-owens-297

4 Marras 202054min

Given that social media has been blamed for rising levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and political polarization, is it possible to use this technology wisely? That’s the question we dive into today with Randy Fernando, who is featured in a new Netflix documentary called The Social Dilemma, which is all about the many alleged pernicious impacts of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, et al. Randy is the co-founder and Executive Director of the Center for Humane Technology, and a longtime meditator. We start by talking about what he sees as the dangers of social media, but then get into a fascinating discussion, where he ticks off a ton of techniques -- informed by his knowledge of Buddhism -- to use social media that won’t cause you to lose your mind. Where to find Randy Fernando online: Website: http://www.randima.com Other Resources Mentioned: •   Center for Humane Technology - https://www.humanetech.com/ •   The Ledger of Harms: The Facts about Social Media's Harms - https://ledger.humanetech.com/ •   AllSides - https://www.allsides.com/unbiased-balanced-news •   Your Undivided Attention Podcast - https://www.humanetech.com/podcast •   Tips for Taking Control of Your Tech - https://www.humanetech.com/take-control •   Resources for Families & Educators - https://www.humanetech.com/families-educators Additional Resources: •   Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live •   Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide •   Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/randy-fernando-296

2 Marras 202049min

In the face of the seemingly unremitting horrors of 2020, is it possible -- or wise -- to generate gratitude? My guest today argues: yes. DaRa Williams is a longtime practitioner and teacher of meditation. She is one of the guiding teachers at the Insight Meditation Society. She’s also had a clinical mental health private practice in Manhattan for many years. DaRa Williams says, only semi-facetiously, that she believes gratitude can be considered the fifth Brahma Vihara. As you know, we’ve just wrapped up our special Election Sanity series here on the podcast, where we explored the ancient Buddhist list called the Four Brahma Viharas: loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. Speaking of Election Sanity, we’re also running a special meditation challenge on the Ten Percent Happier app. Technically, it started yesterday, but it’s not too late to join. It’s only a week long, and it will help you stay engaged in this bananas election season without losing your mind. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get started. But back to gratitude, let’s dive in now with DaRa Williams. Where to find DaRa Williams online: Dharmaseed: https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/611/ IMS: https://www.dharma.org/teacher/dara-williams/ Additional Resources: •   Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live •   Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide •   Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dara-williams-295

28 Loka 202059min

#294: Vitamin E: How To Cultivate Equanimity Amidst Political Chaos | Election Sanity Series | Roshi Joan Halifax It’s part four in our Election Sanity series. Throughout October, we have been trying to help you stay engaged in current events without losing your mind. As you know, we’ve been drawing on an ancient Buddhist list called The Four Brahma Viharas, which are four mental skills that can be enormously useful. Over the last three episodes, we’ve taken deep dives into loving-kindness (or friendliness), compassion (or giving a crap), and sympathetic joy (the opposite of schadenfreude). This week, it’s equanimity, the secret sauce that allows you to apply to aforementioned skills in difficult times. Our guest this week is perfect for this subject, precisely because she freely admits that equanimity -- which she calls “vitamin E” -- doesn’t come easily for her. Roshi Joan Halifax is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, anthropologist, and pioneer in the field of end-of-life care. She’s been passionately politically engaged for much of her life-- and, as you will hear, she doesn’t hold back on her own personal views, even as she calls for extending respect to people with whom we disagree. Wherever you stand politically, this interview is filled with practical advice for cultivating equanimity without going dull. Quick reminder before we dive in: our Free Election Sanity meditation challenge starts in the Ten Percent Happier app TOMORROW, you can join the challenge right now by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app and be ready for day 1 of the challenge tomorrow. We're really excited about this Challenge. We designed it specifically to meet you in this moment and help you lean into the commotion of the election, without getting burnt out or overwhelmed. To join the Challenge, just download the Ten Percent Happier app today. See you in there. This interview was recorded on October 7, 2020. Where to find Roshi Joan Halifax online: Website: https://www.upaya.org/about/roshi/ Social Media: •   Twitter: https://twitter.com/jhalifax •   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joan.halifax Other Resources Mentioned: •   Shantideva: https://www.shambhala.com/authors/o-t/shantideva.html •   Thich Nhat Hanh: https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/biography/ •   Angela Davis: https://www.biography.com/activist/angela-davis •   Eli Pariser: https://www.elipariser.org/ •   Kazuaki Tanahashi: https://www.brushmind.net/ •   Eight Worldly Winds: https://www.lionsroar.com/buddhism-by-the-numbers-the-eight-worldly-concerns/ •   Uchiyama Roshi: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/506986.Kosho_Uchiyama Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joan-halifax-294

26 Loka 20201h 2min

We’ve backed away from celebrity interviews on the show of late, because we got a lot of feedback from listeners saying they had trouble relating to some of our more famous interviewees. I am confident that is not going to be the case with today’s guest. Brett Eldredge may be a big country star -- with six #1 hits -- but he is no dilettante when it comes to tackling mental health challenges. You are about to listen to someone who is truly digging in and doing the work. By way of background, I have never personally been a country fan, but I first met Brett when he came on this show a few years ago to talk about his on-stage panic attacks and general anxiety, and after that we struck up a friendship. I have been so impressed by the rigor with which he has committed to his mental wellbeing. In this interview he really goes there -- speaking in utterly unguarded ways about how ambition and perfectionism have fueled his anxiety (as well as some of his romantic challenges); describing a special kind of therapy designed to address his panic attacks. Best of all, he told me enthusiastically that meditation and loosening up in general has greatly impacted his creativity, as evidenced by his new album Sunday Drive. Enjoy. Where to find Brett Eldredge online:  Website: https://www.bretteldredge.com/  Social Media: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/bretteldredge  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bretteldredge  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bretteldredge/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/BrettEldredge  Other Resources Mentioned: • Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport: https://bookshop.org/books/digital-minimalism-choosing-a-focused-life-in-a-noisy-world/9780525536512  • Ten Percent Happier episode with Cal Newport on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-minimalism-cal-newport/id1087147821?i=1000468718411   • Ten Percent Happier episode with Cal Newport on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6tfnjUGrszzqwR713hBGU2?si=OWWuDnizRrOmKvJPwQ2Xjg  • Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?: Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties by Ajahn Brahm: https://bookshop.org/books/who-ordered-this-truckload-of-dung-inspiring-stories-for-welcoming-life-s-difficulties/9780861712786  Additional Resources: • Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live • Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide • Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brett-eldredge-293

21 Loka 202055min

There’s an old expression: “Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little bit.” I love that saying, because it speaks to how hard it can be to take pleasure in other people’s happiness. That said, while it may be difficult, it is not impossible -- and moreover, as our guest today will argue, it’s a massively useful skill, especially as we endure this bonkers election. Welcome to week three of our special Election Sanity podcast series. Every Monday in October, we’re tackling a mental skill drawn from an ancient Buddhist list known as the Four Brahma Viharas, or the Four Heavenly Abodes. Don’t be fooled by the high falutin’ name; these skills are eminently achievable, and massively helpful. I can say this based on both personal experience, and also a significant amount of scientific research. In the previous two episodes, we explored loving-kindness (also known by the less gooey moniker of “friendliness”), and also compassion. This week it’s “sympathetic joy,” or “mudita.” You can think of this skill as the opposite of Schadenfreude; instead of reveling in the suffering of other people, you’re celebrating their happiness. Our guest today calls it “borrowing joy.” Her name is Tuere Sala. She’s a guiding teacher at Insight Seattle. She’s no pollyanna; she doesn’t sugarcoat how challenging mudita can be, but she does have a strategy that I think you will find appealingly doable. Where to find Tuere Sala online: Seattle Insight Meditation Society: https://seattleinsight.org/Teachers/Teacher/TeacherID/102 Just a reminder, our Free Election Sanity meditation challenge starts next week. We're super excited about this one—we've worked with our very wise meditation teachers from this Election Sanity podcast series to create a really unique set of daily lessons and meditations, all geared toward helping you keep your cool during the 2020 Election. If you'd like to join the Challenge, Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to start meditating your way through this Election season, and see you in the Challenge with thousands of other meditators. It starts on Tuesday, October 27th! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tuere-sala-292

19 Loka 202059min

There will be no talk of election or pandemic on this episode. This is a straight-up, meat-and-potatoes meditation talk from the one and only Joseph Goldstein. In this chat, we explore three profoundly useful mindfulness strategies, including: mindfulness of thinking, awareness of rushing (a deeply ingrained habit for many of us), and the genuine insight that can emerge from everyday activities. For the uninitiated, Joseph is one of the founding teachers on the Ten Percent Happier app; he is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society; and he is the author of several books, including the recently reissued The Experience of Insight: A Simple and Direct Guide to Buddhist Meditation. Where to find Joseph Goldstein online: Insight Meditation Society: https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/ Joseph Goldstein Courses & Meditations on the Ten Percent Happier App: https://10percenthappier.app.link/x9Q0TCy36Z Books: https://bookshop.org/contributors/joseph-goldstein-3a8b7f33-05c3-49df-94e9-3700b68fec76 In case you missed it, we're running a podcast series to help you stay sane and engaged during this election season — without burning out. Every Monday in October, we'll discuss four tools from ancient teachings to help guide you through this especially challenging time. You can check out Monday's podcast episode for a taste of the Election Sanity Series. You can also visit https://tenpercent.com/guide to sign up for our limited-time email guide. Other Resources Mentioned: Heartwood of the Bodhi Tree: The Buddha's Teaching on Voidness: https://bookshop.org/books/heartwood-of-the-bodhi-tree-the-buddha-s-teaching-on-voidness/9781614291527 Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-291

14 Loka 202056min