The Hard Questions That Might Save Your Relationship | Susan Piver

The Hard Questions That Might Save Your Relationship | Susan Piver

Today we have some counterintuitive relationship advice. If you're in a tough spot with your loved one, why would you want to have a deep chat about religion, politics, work, or your eating habits? Wouldn't that just make everything worse? My guest today says asking these hard questions is exactly what you should do. Susan Piver is a fan favorite in TPH-world. She has been a practicing Buddhist for more than a quarter-century. She's a graduate of a Buddhist seminary, founder of The Open Heart Project, and a New York Times bestselling author of many books, including How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life. This month, she's releasing a revised and expanded edition of her blockbuster book, The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do." This book started out as a relationship tool for recently engaged couples, but it's taken on a much broader life. You can use it if your long-term relationship has hit a snag, if you've recently broken up with someone and want to understand why, or if you're single and just want to know yourself better. The book originally came out 20 years ago, but a lot has changed since then, so Susan has gone through and done a big rewrite. In this conversation, we talk about: why hard questions are so key to building or rebuilding the foundation for a healthy relationship; the difference between love affairs and long-term relationships (and how failing to see the difference can tank your relationship); why breakups are rarely caused by lack of love, but instead by something else; and Susan will explore, from a Buddhist perspective, what happens when the boundaries between you and another person begin to dissolve – and what to watch out for when this happens. Also, there's (just barely!) still time to join us in our free Taming Anxiety Challenge. This ten-day meditation challenge will teach you how to understand your anxiety and give you practical tools for coping with the difficult thoughts and emotions that arise when you are anxious. And it's also a great way to kickstart your meditation practice. You can join the Taming Anxiety Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/TamingAnxietyChallenge. Be sure to sign up by June 24! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-piver-359

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Daniel Goleman, Diving into 'Emotional Intelligence' (Bonus Episode!)

Daniel Goleman, Diving into 'Emotional Intelligence' (Bonus Episode!)

"The human central nervous system and brain is designed the same around the world... and there probably is a lot of spontaneous rediscovery in different areas of different ways you can play with the mind," Dan Goleman, renowned psychologist and author of the best-selling book, "Emotional Intelligence," says in our interview. Goleman has helped spread the concept of "emotional intelligence," or "EQ," and its four parts -- self-awareness, self-management, social awareness (empathy) and relationship management (social skills) -- across the globe and explains why it matters a great deal in leadership.

14 Huhti 201749min

Sam Harris, 'Waking Up' Podcast Host, Neuroscientist

Sam Harris, 'Waking Up' Podcast Host, Neuroscientist

Sam Harris, who has no relation to our beloved host, is a scientist, a controversial skeptic and the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including "The End of Faith," "The Moral Landscape" and "Waking Up" (also the title of his popular podcast). During our interview, Harris hosts a clinic on deconstructing "consciousness and its contents" with the help of meditation, and recognizing how getting lost in thought can be tied to suffering.

12 Huhti 20171h 32min

Clair Brown, Economist, Author of 'Buddhist Economics'

Clair Brown, Economist, Author of 'Buddhist Economics'

Clair Brown, an economics professor at UC-Berkeley and a Tibetan Buddhist, was teaching an introductory course when she asked herself, "How would Buddha teach Econ One?" Brown went on to write the book, "Buddhist Economics: An Enlightened Approach to the Dismal Science," and advocates for a more mindful approach to how we contribute to society, for example, that as consumers, we should work to simplify our lives by focusing on what matters most to us, buying less and reducing our carbon footprint.

5 Huhti 201741min

Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)

Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)

Jewel, whose poetic songs about relationships and heartache dominated the airwaves in the '90s, used writing as an outlet to deal with anxiety through a tough childhood and later, homelessness. She began looking for ways to "re-wire" her brain, change her life for the better, and came to Mindfulness. The Grammy-nominated recording artist wrote a memoir, "Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story," and stars in the upcoming Hallmark movie, "Framed for Murder: A Fixer-Upper Mystery," airing Sunday, April 2.

31 Maalis 201731min

Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder

Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder

Jerry Colonna was working as a venture capitalist in New York City during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and as he walked by wreckage of the World Trade Center towers, he said he felt like his "world was falling apart." Colonna went on to become a practicing Buddhist and in 2014 he founded Reboot.io, a CEO-coaching company where he serves as a certified professional coach for the heads of some of the most dynamic start-ups in the United States.

29 Maalis 201759min

Colin Beavan, the 'No Impact Man'

Colin Beavan, the 'No Impact Man'

In his famous book and documentary film project, "No Impact Man," Colin Beavan, a senior Dharma teacher in the Zen tradition, chronicled a year of his life as he tried to have minimal impact on the environment while living in the bustling metropolis of New York City. He followed it up with a book called, "How to Be Alive: A Guide to the Kind of Happiness that Helps the World," a sort of twist on the self-help genre that he calls "each other help."

22 Maalis 201743min

Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

Virginia Military Institute, a military college in Lexington, Virginia, was another stop on the cross-country meditation tour, where our host Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren spoke to Profs. Holly Richardson and Matt Jarman, as well as a few cadets who have taken their classes. Jarman, a psychology professor who leads a "Modern Warriorship" course with meditation, and Richardson, a physical education professor who teaches a mindfulness class, both talk about how they teach cadets in a military environment that meditation can help them be more mentally efficient.

15 Maalis 201743min

Sylvia Moir, Tempe, Arizona, Police Chief

Sylvia Moir, Tempe, Arizona, Police Chief

During their cross-county meditation bus tour in January, our host Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren stopped in Tempe, Arizona, to talk with Sylvia Moir, who has been the head of the Tempe Police Department for the past year. Chief Moir says her mindfulness practice has not only helped her during high-stress police calls but also in how she engages with and leads her fellow officers.

8 Maalis 201746min

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