‘Sorry, My Mental Illness Isn’t Sexy Enough for You’: A Brutally Honest BPD Book

‘Sorry, My Mental Illness Isn’t Sexy Enough for You’: A Brutally Honest BPD Book

In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie and Carys chat with Katja about publishing her first book “Sorry, My Mental Illness Isn’t Sexy Enough for You”, going straight for the parts of BPD people never say out loud: shame, “unsexy” symptoms, misdiagnosis, self-sabotage, and why BPD can look totally different from person to person (quiet vs loud presentations, comorbidities, and stigma).


If you’ve ever felt like “I don’t look like the BPD stereotype”… this one might feel like a hug.


Here's a quote from co-cauthor Kay on why she wrote the book:

"Sorry my mental illness isn’t sexy enough for you, started out as the title of a blog I wanted to write after witnessing first-hand the difficulties of having mental illness, lack of support and the prevalence of poor treatment. Naturally, I wanted to make a difference but being unwell, combined with my human nature of not being a starter finisher, it lived as an idea in my head for a while. Then came along came Katja with this amazing idea of launching our own mental health project using the name, which is the website we know and love today. If you had told me our little project would be as successful as it has been and that we would be publishing our first book because of it, I would have laughed, but here we are. I’m so incredibly lucky to have been given this opportunity to achieve my wildest dream, and to achieve it with my best friend. Asking why I wrote the book is multifaceted, since the age of 14 I have been involved in Mental Health Activism with the purpose of reducing suffering in people who experience mental health difficulties. I raised awareness in a variety of projects and focused on bringing together people with lived experience and services to work together to improve mental health services. I wanted the book to share my story so that others do not feel alone, and so that I could provide understanding and hope, and to talk about ways people can have agency over their own recovery. Mental illness can sometimes be seen as a moral failing, especially the ‘unsexy ones’ that we spend our days challenging. I absolutely feel called to break down this dangerous concept that divides people and communities. I didn't write the book to be cathartic, but I think the process has provided relief in some ways – taking painful and difficult experiences and turning them into something that can help others."


Buy the Book

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BPD and Criticism: Splitting, Defensiveness & How to Have Hard Conversations

BPD and Criticism: Splitting, Defensiveness & How to Have Hard Conversations

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19 Aug 34min

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12 Aug 48min

Why BPD Makes Every Goodbye Feel Like the End | Fear of Abandonment Recovery

Why BPD Makes Every Goodbye Feel Like the End | Fear of Abandonment Recovery

Have you ever run away hoping someone would follow, panicked when plans changed, or treated someone needing space like proof they were about to leave?Xannie, André, Georgette, Carys, Katja, and Justin...

5 Aug 45min

BPD and Fear of Abandonment: Separation Anxiety, Relationship Obsession & Fear of Being Replaced

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Have you ever been so afraid of losing someone that you monitored every change in their behavior, panicked when they spent time with someone else, or pushed them away before they could replace you?In ...

30 Juli 37min

BPD and Anxiety Pt 2: Rumination, Avoidance, and Learning to Trust Yourself (The BPD Bunch S7)

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