S4 E6 | If You Can’t Love Yourself…(Can You Love Somebody Else?)

RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself…how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Today, we explore this concept in depth. The core message today: if it’s hard for you to love yourself, that is not your fault. I probably repeat that about 10 times in today’s episode. If you need to hear that - 10 times - then you’re like me. And you’re in the right place. Join us.

In this Episode:

🔹 We problematize Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and I make a case for retiring his theory to the dustbin of psychotherapy. It belongs with penis envy. In the past.

🔹 Attachment is a primary human need. Perhaps it’s THE primary human need.

🔹 Relationships are hard. That is normal.

🔹 If relationships are hard for you, you are normal.

🔹 And, if it’s hard for you to love yourself, that is not your fault.

🔹 Learning to love yourself will make your relationships better.

🔹 But, being loved by others for who you truly are - that will also make your relationship with yourself better. These things go hand-in-hand.

What if your primary attachment figures didn’t appreciate you for who you truly were? Today, we explore relationships, attachment, identity development, relational needs, and we connect it all to chronic pain and to healing.

–

Find Sean:

Visit My Website to Learn More or to Request a Consultation for Therapy

TMS Treatment & Support Group Now Enrolling, Starts February 24th, 2026

–

Sean’s Free Email List: Join the List for Free Updates and Advice

–

Click Here to Ask a Question on the Podcast

–

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Books by Dr. Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Dr. Lindsay Gibson: https://www.lindsaycgibson.com/books.html

–

…and you’re listening to Mindbody Medicine for Chronic Pain.

Therapist Sean Hershey, LCSW teaches you how to use psychological and emotional modalities to heal from chronic pain. Common conditions treated: Back Pain, Neck Pain, Hip Pain, Shoulder Pain, Knee Pain, Elbow Pain, Pain from Disc Bulges, Pain from Disc Degeneration, Sciatica, Neuropathy, Chronic Headaches, Migraine, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), Pelvic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Many Eczema and Skin Conditions, Many Arthritic Presentations, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Long Covid, Depression, and Anxiety.

Inspired by the pioneering work of Dr. John Sarno and all who’ve built upon his theories including: Nicole Sachs, Christina Sarno Horner, Dr. Howard Schubiner, Dr. Dan Ratner, Alan Gordon, the ATNS, and so many others.

Join us as we discuss: TMS, pain as a danger signal, the pain/threat cycle, healing through psychological work, healing through emotional work, healing through patiently attuning to your true self, trauma, healing as a work in progress, maddening frustration, glimmers of hope, elating successes... But most of all, join us because you don’t have to be alone in your pain. You don’t have to be alone in the hard work of healing. And you don’t have to be alone as this starts to work for you, and you begin to get better.

We’re all walking this path together. We’re right here with you.

If you're enjoying the podcast, please follow for future episodes, rate, leave a written review, and share it with someone who needs it. Your endorsement helps more people like you find the profound power of mindbody healing.