So You Wanna Have a Threesome? (ft. Gabrielle Alexa Noel)

So You Wanna Have a Threesome? (ft. Gabrielle Alexa Noel)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, sex educator, and polyamorous creator Gabrielle Alexa Noel to talk about the fantasy everyone has — and the one that goes wrong the most: threesomes.

From “unicorn hunting” to couple privilege, from jealousy to communication, this episode breaks down what actually makes a threesome hot and what makes it awkward, performative, or emotionally messy.

Gabby and Alexa unpack why “the third is the star of the show,” why gifting a threesome is a red flag, why kissing rules are often a dealbreaker, and why straight couples may have an easier time swapping than finding a unicorn.


In this episode, we cover:

  • The biggest communication mistakes couples make
  • Why “creating safety” changes everything
  • Kissing rules some couples have
  • “Couple privilege and why it matters
  • Why the third needs to feel special
  • How to DM a third correctly (and what NOT to say)
  • Signs a couple isn’t actually ready
  • Emotional labor being offloaded onto the third
  • Why you should take the third on a date
  • Why swapping couples may be easier than unicorn hunting
  • Jealousy and insecurity during group sex
  • What to do when someone feels left out
  • Aftercare expectations and debriefs
  • Why porn positions aren’t realistic
  • STI prep, condom changes, and fluid bonding
  • Toys in threesomes
  • Single men’s best strategy for getting a threesome
  • Why romance still matters even in casual group sex


Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market, Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈

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Avsnitt(119)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure...

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Pt. 1 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They do a deep dive into anal sex, butt...

6 Aug 39min

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Carly, founder of Read Aurore, to talk about why written erotica is becoming one of the most powerful tools for pleasure, communication and self...

30 Juli 1h 4min

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with clinical psychologist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to unpack one of the hardest questions in love: how do you know whether to stay ...

23 Juli 1h 3min

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with urologist Dr. Jed Kaminetsky to unpack everything you need to know about men's sexual health: from vasectomies, erectile dysfunction, testo...

16 Juli 57min

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Coral Osborne (@theunrealcoralosborne), sexologist, intimacy coach for men, former sex worker, and writer. Coral shares how sex work has ch...

9 Juli 56min

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