10 Dating Behaviors That Are Messing With Your Head (And What to Call Them) | Ep. 170

10 Dating Behaviors That Are Messing With Your Head (And What to Call Them) | Ep. 170

In this episode, I'm handing you the dating dictionary I wish I'd had years ago. If you've ever felt confused, blindsided, or just plain crazy after a date or relationship fell apart — you weren't imagining it. The behavior has a name. And once you can name it, you stop second-guessing yourself and start making better decisions.

I walk through 10 modern dating terms — ghosting, zombieing, future faking, ghost lighting, micro-cheating, benching, banksying, breadcrumbing, love bombing, and situationships — what they look like, why they happen, and how to respond. I also share my 3-6-9 rule for checking in on compatibility at the right moments without over-investing too soon. The goal isn't to memorize a list. It's to trust yourself faster.

In This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction & Why Naming Behaviors Matters

00:48 - Ghosting: They Disappear With No Explanation

01:35 - Zombieing: Coming Back Like Nothing Happened

02:10 - Future Faking: Big Promises, Zero Follow-Through

02:52 - Ghost Lighting: Ghosting + Gaslighting in One Toxic Move

03:42 - Meet Lem From Nancy

04:12 - Micro-Cheating: Is It Really Cheating?

04:48 - Benching: You're On the Roster But Never In the Game

05:14 - Banksying: The Slow Fade That Goes Nowhere

05:40 - Breadcrumbing: Just Enough to Keep You Hooked

06:15 - Love Bombing: Intensity Followed by Disappearance

06:50 - Situationships: Emotionally Involved With No Clarity

07:25 - The 3-6-9 Rule for Checking Compatibility

08:05 - Final Thoughts & How to Trust Yourself Faster

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.


This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.


Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast



Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

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💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Save 25% off on the Lem using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: Hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

🚨 Save 25% on Le Wand using code Taboo25

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Testosterone for Men vs. Women: The Truth About Libido, Energy & Orgasm | Ep. 204

Testosterone for Men vs. Women: The Truth About Libido, Energy & Orgasm | Ep. 204

In this episode, I'm talking about testosterone in midlife, menopause, low sex drive, and why so many women on hormone therapy are still missing the one hormone nobody thought to check. I learned this...

25 Sep 15min

Inside a Sex Club and a Kink Club for the First Time: What I Learned | Ep. 203

Inside a Sex Club and a Kink Club for the First Time: What I Learned | Ep. 203

In this episode, I'm sharing something completely different: a firsthand account of a weekend I had in Montreal. I was there for an Advanced SAR — a Sexual Attitude Reassessment, the kind of training ...

22 Sep 17min

The Male G-Spot 101: The Truth About Prostate Massage, Risk, and the Anus Myth | Ep. 202

The Male G-Spot 101: The Truth About Prostate Massage, Risk, and the Anus Myth | Ep. 202

The prostate, also called the male G-spot, is a walnut-sized gland most straight men never want to talk about, and this episode is exactly that conversation. I get into what it does, how it's tied to ...

18 Sep 18min

How To Fix Performance Anxiety In The Bedroom, According To Sex Coach Alex Grendi | Ep. 201

How To Fix Performance Anxiety In The Bedroom, According To Sex Coach Alex Grendi | Ep. 201

In this episode, I'm talking with Alex Grendi, a men's intimacy and confidence coach who spent years quietly numbing his own performance anxiety before he understood what was actually driving it. Alex...

15 Sep 20min

Why Your Marriage Went Sexless — And How to Talk About It Again | Ep. 200

Why Your Marriage Went Sexless — And How to Talk About It Again | Ep. 200

In this episode, I'm kicking off season 7 — and marking 200 episodes of Taboo to Truth — with one of the topics that comes up in my practice more than almost anything else: sexless marriages. From the...

12 Sep 14min

The Secret to Reconnecting in a Sexless Marriage with Coach Mike Elliott | Ep. 198 (Part 2)

The Secret to Reconnecting in a Sexless Marriage with Coach Mike Elliott | Ep. 198 (Part 2)

In part two of my conversation with men's coach Mike Elliott, we get into how couples actually reconnect and rebuild intimacy after a sexless marriage, low desire, or years of disconnection in midlife...

8 Sep 23min

The Impact of Sexual Rejection: What It Does to Your Brain, Body & Relationship | Ep. 199

The Impact of Sexual Rejection: What It Does to Your Brain, Body & Relationship | Ep. 199

Chronic sexual rejection in a relationship doesn't just cause hurt feelings, it rewires how a person feels about themselves, their body, and their worth.In this episode I break down what's actually ha...

4 Sep 16min

The Secret to Reconnecting in a Sexless Marriage with Coach Mike Elliott | Ep. 198 (Part 1)

The Secret to Reconnecting in a Sexless Marriage with Coach Mike Elliott | Ep. 198 (Part 1)

Every conversation about a sexless marriage gets pointed at the woman. Low desire, hormones, resentment, the mental load, she's the one who's supposed to explain herself. Nobody asks what happens on t...

1 Sep 22min

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