Covert Narcissism: Why Your Fight/Flight Response Turned into Fawning

Covert narcissistic abuse doesn't just hurt you — it rewires you. In this episode, Renee breaks down why your fight/flight response gradually turned into fawning, and why that isn't a character flaw — it's survival.

You'll learn why fight, flight, freeze, and fawn aren't random reactions. They're a hierarchy based on how much self-advocacy you feel you have. And in a covert narcissistic relationship, that self-advocacy gets quietly, systematically dismantled — until fawning becomes your automatic default.

In this episode:

• Why the four trauma responses are actually a hierarchy of self-advocacy
• How covert narcissists punish fight, flight, and freeze — and reward fawning
• Why so many survivors grew up already partway down this hierarchy
• How a controlling or narcissistic parent trained you for this dynamic long before you met your partner
• Why religious upbringings can add a powerful layer of conditioning — and why this topic is getting its own full episode
• Why you keep ending up in narcissistic relationships — and why it has nothing to do with bad luck
• Why healthy relationships can actually feel uncomfortable to a nervous system wired for chaos

This is episode one of a three-part series. Episode two will look at what this hierarchy looks like in your day-to-day life. Episode three will explore what it actually means to start rebuilding your self-advocacy.

If you've ever asked yourself "why do I keep ending up here?" — this episode is for you.

Learn more about Renee's coaching program at covertnarcissism.com.

The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes, and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a healthcare provider for guidance specific to your case.

This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.