Sober But Still Trapped in Self-Will : The Self-Centeredness That Outlasts the Alcohol

Sober But Still Trapped in Self-Will : The Self-Centeredness That Outlasts the Alcohol

Getting sober doesn't automatically make you a good person. Remove the alcohol or the drugs and you're left with the same wiring — the self-centeredness, the main-character syndrome, the 100 forms of self-centered fear that ran the show all along. The problem starts where the bottle ends.

In this solo episode, Anthony talks honestly about the selfishness that outlasts the substance: the sneaky forms it takes in sobriety (recovery self-absorption, keeping score in relationships, using sobriety as a moral trump card, hiding behind "I'm working on myself"), why self-obsession is a real relapse risk, and the oldest fix there is — getting out of self through service.

This is self-honesty, not self-hatred. Noticing your own selfishness is the growth, not proof that you're a bad person.

Shared from lived experience, one addict to another. If this lands with you, the greatest payment I can receive is a follow — it helps the next person struggling find the show.

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Avsnitt(144)

King Baby: The Ego Underneath Addiction

King Baby: The Ego Underneath Addiction

My real problem was never the drugs or alcohol. It was King Baby — the toddler ego running my life.In 2015, in treatment at Hazelden, I read a little pamphlet by Tom Cunningham called King Baby. It re...

8 Sep 16min

Anxiety in Sobriety: Why It Spikes and What Actually Helps

Anxiety in Sobriety: Why It Spikes and What Actually Helps

Nobody warns you sobriety can make anxiety louder, not quieter — here's why, and what actually helps.When you put down the drink or the drug, the anxiety you were medicating doesn't vanish. It gets un...

5 Sep 17min

The Habits That Got Me to 1 Year Sober

The Habits That Got Me to 1 Year Sober

Willpower won't keep you sober — it's a battery, and it drains. In this solo episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony makes the case that year one isn't about white-knuckling, it's about building: cons...

3 Sep 15min

Perfectionism Is a Relapse Risk — Progress, Not Perfection

Perfectionism Is a Relapse Risk — Progress, Not Perfection

Perfectionism isn't a personality quirk — it's a documented relapse risk, and it doesn't switch off just because you got sober. In this solo episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony unpacks how the sam...

1 Sep 21min

Trauma & Addiction: Gabor Maté & The Body Keeps the Score (An Honest Take)

Trauma & Addiction: Gabor Maté & The Body Keeps the Score (An Honest Take)

Why the pain, not why the addiction? An honest, peer look at the trauma model of recovery.This week it's a solo one. I sit with two thinkers who reshaped how we talk about addiction — Gabor Maté (In t...

29 Aug 10min

Surrender in Addiction vs in Recovery — Why Letting Go Isn't Giving Up

Surrender in Addiction vs in Recovery — Why Letting Go Isn't Giving Up

Surrender sounded like giving up — until it became the thing that finally let me stop losing.For years I thought surrender meant waving the white flag: defeat, quitting, rolling over. My ego hated it....

27 Aug 15min

The 12 Principles That Actually Keep You Sober

The 12 Principles That Actually Keep You Sober

Working the steps gets you sober. Living the principles keeps you there. All 12 — and why they hold.My mentor asks me one question: "How are you living today, Anthony?" It's easy to be a star in the r...

25 Aug 26min

10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't

10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't

Ten things I thought were normal until I got sober — supply math, pre-gaming, the morning panic. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a guy who did all ten of these, and didn't realize nobody else was living li...

22 Aug 19min

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