Suri: Former Orthodox Jewish

Suri Robinson grew up in an Orthodox Jewish community in Baltimore, where she learned to suppress her needs, protect her family’s image, and strive for religious perfection. After seminary, she married at 20, moved to Lakewood, raised five children, became a therapist, and helped build a Bais Yaakov school focused on children’s emotional wellbeing.

From inside the community’s institutions, however, she witnessed rigid expectations, concealed abuse, political pressure, discrimination, and what she describes as “toxic selflessness”—a culture in which saying no was treated as selfish or religiously unacceptable.

Following her mother’s death and years of relentless responsibility, Suri experienced severe burnout, depression, complex PTSD, and suicidal despair. Residential treatment gave her the distance to recognize patterns of religious abuse, coercion, shame, and control. She gradually left her marriage, institutional role, and religious observance, while facing claims that she had “snapped” or become mentally unstable. Today, through After the Burn, she speaks about religious trauma, nervous-system healing, mental health stigma, authentic connection, and rebuilding a meaningful life after losing the world she once knew.

Follow Suri: https://www.instagram.com/aftertheburnco/

Chapters

00:00 – Meet Suri

00:38 – Growing Up Orthodox in Baltimore

02:42 – The Burden of Being the “Perfect” Child

04:08 – Secret Dreams of a Different Life

05:48 – Fasting, Prayer, and Religious Performance

06:58 – Escaping into Books and Imaginary Worlds

08:38 – The Shame of a Small Rebellion

10:36 – Seminary, Spiritual Certainty, and Body Shame

13:28 – How Seminary Creates Belonging and Commitment

16:56 – Entering the Orthodox Marriage System

19:45 – Marriage, Lakewood, and Patriarchal Expectations

25:28 – Kollel Life, Motherhood, and Relentless Productivity

29:10 – Toxic Selflessness and the Inability to Say No

32:33 – Becoming a Therapist Inside the Religious System

34:59 – Building an Emotionally Supportive Bais Yaakov School

39:27 – Harassment, School Politics, and the Collapse of Boundaries

44:56 – Challenging Stereotypes About People Who Leave

46:39 – Grief, Burnout, and the Beginning of Collapse

48:47 – Depression, Suicidal Dread, and Nervous-System Breakdown

51:24 – Entering Residential Mental Health Treatment

54:20 – What Religious Abuse Looks Like

57:37 – Being Labelled Crazy After Stepping Away

01:04:04 – Rabbinical Bullying, Threats, and Control

01:07:10 – Rebuilding Belief, Identity, and Daily Life

01:13:46 – How Group Therapy Broke the Cycle of Shame

01:18:28 – After the Burn: Suri’s Work and Message

01:23:13 – Systemic Harm, Moral Injury, and Final Reflections