Criticism Has No Place in a Relationship ft. The Gottmans

Criticism Has No Place in a Relationship ft. The Gottmans

Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman have followed 3,000 couples, some of them for twenty years, second by second, and in this conversation Shan brings them something that research was never designed to answer: what happens to a generation that has decided love isn't available to them, and has built community around that belief instead? Julie's answer is that those groups are writing each other a prescription for how to stay alone, and she says it with a tenderness that's hard to argue with. From there the three of them get into why criticism sabotages the exact thing you were trying to be heard about, why listening to a woman's anger is one of the strongest predictors of a relationship improving over time, and what John pulls out of his back pocket every time Julie says the four most terrifying words in the English language. This one is for anyone who has started to suspect that being right about dating and being loved are not the same project. ____________ Ready to reach your goals? Visit https://www.forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers ____________ Follow The Gottmans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gottmaninstitute YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/thegottmaninstitute TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegottmaninstitute The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com Courses and Books: https://www.gottman.com/shop/ Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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He's Gay. She's a Lesbian. They're In a Co-Parenting Arrangement With Their Son

He's Gay. She's a Lesbian. They're In a Co-Parenting Arrangement With Their Son

Brandi and Lawrence aren't a couple. He's a gay man, she's a lesbian, and they were best friends first, until they decided, in their twenties, to build a family together on purpose, with a legal paren...

9 Sep 45min

The Lengths One Catfish Went to Avoid Getting Caught

The Lengths One Catfish Went to Avoid Getting Caught

Kamie Crawford (former co-host of MTV's Catfish: The TV Show, now host of Relationsht*) sits down with Shan to unpack what actually keeps a catfishing scheme alive long after the story stops adding up...

26 Aug 49min

Listen Again: Singer Mario Opens Up About Emotional Healing After Maternal Trauma

Listen Again: Singer Mario Opens Up About Emotional Healing After Maternal Trauma

In this deeply personal episode presented by Bumble, singer Mario opens up about the profound impact of unresolved trauma stemming from his relationship with his mother. He shares how this pain shaped...

19 Aug 57min

Listen Again: Don’t Have Sex With Someone If You Both Can’t Do THIS ft. Lena Waithe

Listen Again: Don’t Have Sex With Someone If You Both Can’t Do THIS ft. Lena Waithe

We've been on a short break the past two weeks, so we're revisiting one of our favorites: Lena Waithe on why she won't have sex with someone unless she can already picture what happens after, and why ...

12 Aug 55min

Listen Again: I  Lost My Sex Drive Because He Never Did THIS ft. Cree Summer

Listen Again: I Lost My Sex Drive Because He Never Did THIS ft. Cree Summer

We're on a short break the next two weeks, so we're revisiting one of our favorites: Cree Summer on losing (and finding again) her sex drive after 50, and why emotional safety made all the difference....

5 Aug 1h 1min

If There Was a Female Version of “Viagra”, Would You Take It?

If There Was a Female Version of “Viagra”, Would You Take It?

#AD This episode is sponsored by Daré Bioscience. DARE to PLAY™ Sildenafil Cream is a compounded drug. It is not FDA-approved. This product has not been reviewed by FDA for safety or efficacy. It is m...

29 Juli 1h 5min

Naomi Sharon: Learning About OCD Taught Me Why I Can't Let Go

Naomi Sharon: Learning About OCD Taught Me Why I Can't Let Go

Naomi Sharon is an R&B singer-songwriter, the first woman signed to Drake's OVO Sound label, and the voice behind Obsidian — an album she wrote, she says, while stuck in a loop she didn't yet have a n...

22 Juli 49min

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