The fine line making or breaking your sex life: 4 nervous system regulation hacks for wild adventures | E28

“Feeling safe” is what makes great sex possible: your nervous system needs to feel completely at ease to really let go — but when your intimate encounter gets too safe, too planned, too nice, it’s no longer sexy. No matter if you’re man or woman.

So how can you feel safe enough / provide the necessary “nervous system safety” to get sexy and maybe even a little kinky, without becoming boring? That's what this episode is about.

We discuss:

• why your body won't do what you want on until it’s sure there's no tiger behind the tree
• why decisiveness is sexy: how to lead in bed without taking away their choice
• the nice guy paradox: how to stop getting friend-zoned now
• how to ask for what you want without fearing rejection (hint: it's not about you)

If there's something you've been wanting to try, or say, and you haven't felt safe enough to go there yet, this is what you want to listen to today.

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CHAPTERS:

01:30 Why men need to feel safe too

02:43 How to ask for something that you want, and be ok with a NO

03:12 How to have deeper conversations with your partner

03:41 What to do when energies don't exactly match

06:46 Why is the sense of safety so important

07:56 Safe enough or too safe?

10:19 Why decisiveness is sexy

13:15 How to regulate the nervous system – bedroom edit

14:17 The more they feel seen, the safer they feel

16:49 Safety starts with yourself

18:14 Secret Fantasies Live Workshop

19:43 Curiosity is what gets you laid

22:48 "Would you like to...?" vs. "Can I...?"

28:49 How to "actively listen"

31:01 How to touch “with quality”

33:52 How to re-establish safety in long-term relationships – and get that New Relationship Energy back

36:49 What if I'm afraid of being rejected?

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You might also like - related to this topic:

• E19 | Threesome Fantasy? How To Talk To Your Partner About It (And Make It Happen) - on Apple or Spotify
• E22 | How To Share Secret Sexual Desires & Why We're Turned On By Taboos - on Apple or Spotify
• E23 | What's Really Cockblocking Your Wildest Fantasies (And How To Stop That Now) - on Apple or Spotify

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Chiara Hardie is an intimacy coach who shows you how to stop giving a damn what anyone thinks. She helps you find the confidence and freedom to express what you've never dared say — be it sex, taboos, or your relationships.

Meet your mother's worst enemy at her next LIVE online workshop: Reserve your FREE seat