EP#229: How Do I Tell My Partner I’m Kinky with Kink Consultant Amanda Dames

In this episode of the Open Bedroom Podcast, I welcome Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former NYC dominatrix. Amanda shares her journey discovering her kink identity, her experience as a dominatrix, and her transition into coaching. Our conversation covers BDSM dynamics, power exchange, and how to communicate desires in relationships. Amanda emphasizes that kink is normal, shame-free, and rooted in consent, offering practical advice for couples navigating mismatched desires or introducing kink into their relationships.

Introduction to Amanda Dames (00:00:48)

The host introduces Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former New York City dominatrix, detailing her expertise.

Amanda's Kink Discovery (00:02:13)

Amanda shares her early awareness of her interest in spanking and punishment, starting from the age of five.

The Origins of Kink (00:03:51)

Discussion on whether people are born kinky, exploring ideas like past lives, epigenetics, and trauma as potential origins.

Kink vs. Fetish (00:06:42)

A clear distinction is made between a kink (a nice-to-have) and a fetish (a need-to-have for arousal).

Is Everyone a Little Kinky? (00:08:29)

Amanda argues that most people are a little kinky but are often afraid of the word itself.

Experience as a Dominatrix (00:16:43)

Amanda recounts how she found a job as a dominatrix on Craigslist and what the work actually entailed.

From Dominatrix to Kink Consultant (00:18:26)

Amanda explains her career transition from corporate life and moonlighting as a Domme to becoming a full-time kink consultant.

Living in a 24/7 D/s Relationship (00:21:25)

Amanda describes her current 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, where she is the submissive partner with her live-in Dom.

The Appeal of Submission (00:24:48)

Amanda explains why being in a submissive role is appealing, highlighting the freedom and care it provides.

How to Tell Your Partner About Your Kink (00:44:24)

Amanda provides a step-by-step guide on how to initiate a conversation with a partner about your kinks and fetishes.

Follow Amanda:

• Website: https://www.amandadames.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant
• Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920
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• Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
• BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist

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