Comedy One-Liners: Sharp, Funny & Unapologetically Real 2

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Taken from Proverbs, Words of Wisdom, by Alice O’Neil
https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/proverbs-9781632864420/

Transcript:
https://app.podscribe.ai/episode/50513300

Speaker 0 (0s): crawl over part two. Well, hello, my friends. How's everybody doing today? Doing well. I'm going to hit you with some more words of wisdom. I'm gonna try to get in your head and give you a few funny one liners, try to paint some pictures in the back of your mind.

Maybe try to inject some means into the prefrontal cortex. Get you guys thinking a little bit. I've just found these Proverbs to be so useful. However, I don't know if I've really gone into depth or talk a little bit about what they actually are. So let me try and do that. Now, the word proverb may be defined as a short sentence or phrase that conveys a nugget of common sense, a summary of practical experience or a rule of conduct.

Several other words have similar meanings. For example, saying aphorism adage, Maxim, or saw a lot of academics. Try to draw precise boundaries between these various terms. Although in reality, it can be difficult to tell them apart. They would define a Maxim as a statement of general principle, such as you're either a part of the solution or you're part of the problem. While an aphorism has a moral or philosophical tone, such as melodies are cured by nature, not remedies for the more an adage is described as an aphorism that has passed into general use.

The truth is that Proverbs can employ all of these forms. They have a delightful fluidity. The best evidence we have for their antiquity is that surviving stone age, a hundred gatherer cultures, such as those of the sand and South Africa or the Australian Aborigines used them in multitudes. So that being said a little bit of history behind them and kind of give you a background in some of the rhetorical language, paradoxical statements, the purported logic and proverb adds to their appeal helps them transmit their cultural insight.

So let's get into some more of these. Let's start off with hope and despair, hope Springs, eternal. Thus, every cloud has a silver lining and tomorrow is another day four in the land

Speaker 1 (3m 0s): Of hope. There is no winter. Don't worry. The sky falls we'll catch the larks. And if you die today, you'll not send tomorrow. So there's hope while your fishing line is still in the water live in hope. God will find a low branch for the bird that can't fly. So just follow the river and you'll get to the sea hope keeps us alive. Despite the fact that hope is the mother of fools and he, that lives on hope has a slender diet.

You know, even crooked logs make straight fires and even foul water will quench a fire. So persevere and never fear for the person who digs lives. Although those who are declared dead live longer, remember a long hope is sweeter than a short surprise. Just as hope keeps the poor alive. While fear kills the rich contentment hope for the best and prepare for the worst for it's better to be one eyed than blind.

And don't worry about tomorrow because you don't know what may happen to you today. Time will tell for time is a great healer. So enjoy yourself. It's later than you think. Also. Don't worry about unlaced eggs for worrying. Never did anybody any good instead face your fears for the death of fear is doing what you dread. In fact, fear and hope are the parents of God. So if God doesn't need our prayers, at least don't throw the baby out with the bath water, but be content with what God has given you for.

He has enough who is content cross a bridge when it comes and remember who hides his grief finds no remedy as men, fear snakes, snakes, fear men, thus every why has aware for and your feet take you where your heart lies. Despair just as every Rose has a thorn despair and hope are sisters. So he who hopes despairs, no lamp burns until morning.

The shadows grow and Moonlight, but never forget that the darkest hour is just before Dawn bad news travels fast for bad news is its own horse. Just as hunger drives the Wolf out of the forest and a bleeding kid excites the Wolf. Be prepared. Misfortunes never come singly after one loss come many and not all the buds on a Bush will blossom.

You're on your own for good fortune seldom knocks twice and most prayers go unanswered. So take care. You don't live by hope and die by hunger. As grief is to the soul. What a worm is to would however much despair. It gives courage to coward. Remember despair never pays debts and you can't put out a fire with spit pent up grief will burst the heart.

So when new grief awakens the old drown, your grief and pleasure Status and change status, only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change for when you're finished changing. You're finished living old habits, die hard and regret always comes too late, but it's no use crying over spilled milk for you'll find it's just the same dog with a different color as change alone is unchanging.

Therefore, although a leopard can't change, its spots and a dog's tail, never straightens. The more things change, the more they stay the same for nothing is carved in stone and never is a long time. Take care mind what you wish for. Although if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. And if you do set a beggar on a horse, he'll ride to the devil, therefore be sensible.

The dog only bites when you tread on its tail. So if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And don't change horses in midstream. Bear in mind that the past is the past. And when a man is out of sight, the land remains for beneath allying stone. No water flows, the water flows, but the stones remain change. It's never too late to change and to change is as good as arrest.

That's why squeaking wheel gets the grease and a change of pasture makes fat calves. But remember that to change and to change for the better are two different things. Of course, every action has its opposite. So when the wind is great bow before it and let the wind choose the canoes speed for when the music changes. So does the dance, or as the Scots say, change of masters, change of manners. And remember those who don't dream are lost.

So throw caution to the wind. Everyone has their own way of eating yogurt live for today. Say easy, come easy, go say lovey. Or today me tomorrow, the, an aim to be first at the feast last at the fight. Therefore let the water you don't need flow for all. Is flux. Nothing stays still. You can't step into the same river twice as nature admits have no permanence.

Some say, let it be worse. As long as it is change for if anything can go wrong, it will. However, the rain falls on more than one roof. And what was hard to bear can be sweet to remember, therefore, go with the flow, but be careful without the forest, there will be no water. And without water, there will be no rice. Although if you wait long enough, even eggs grow legs, remember that many, a sudden change takes place on a spring day.

So seize the day and always bear in mind that all life on earth has to adapt or perish Power and humility. Ruling people follow the ways of their Kings. Thus a King and a crying child have their way unless the mountains are high. And the emperor's far away take heed.

The one who knows not how to disa...