What if the life you wanted isn’t what you want anymore?

What if the life you spent years trying to build isn’t the life you want anymore? For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale. But lately, something has shifted. In this episode, I talk about giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be. Not because that version of you was wrong, but because you’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to outgrow the goals, identities, and plans that once made perfect sense. I get into the difference between constantly becoming someone and actually experiencing your life, why ambition can be useful without being allowed to drive, and how easy it is to postpone happiness by attaching it to the next achievement, relationship, body, house, promotion, or milestone. Maybe the question isn’t, “Where is all of this going?” Maybe it’s, “Where can I go while I’m still here?” I also answer an Ask Angry question about knowing when it may be time to leave a marriage - and why waiting for absolute certainty can keep us stuck much longer than we realize. In this episode, I talk about: Giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be Letting old goals and identities evolve without rejecting your past Why constantly trying to “arrive” can make you miss your actual life Ambition without letting ambition run your life Following curiosity without needing everything to be productive Why happiness becomes a moving target Recognizing joy while it’s actually happening Asking whether the plan you’re following still belongs to you Why certainty may never come when deciding whether to leave a relationship The questions that can reveal whether there’s still something worth repairing Thanks for listening. If something in this episode hits you, pass it along to someone who might need it. If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you. For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life. Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way 🎙️ CONNECT WITH ME 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On PurposeToss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298 📚 My book publishing company, Soulprinthttps://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substackhttps://substack.com/@theangrytherapist 🧠 Ready for deeper work? Check out the Secure Self coursehttps://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/ 📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898 📱 Follow me on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en 🌐 Find out morehttps://www.theangrytherapist.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices